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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
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    2

    Default My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NC My ex-wife has my daughters email linked to her phone, reads them and doesn't tell daughter that I or my wife have emailed her. To make matters worse she is responding to messages as my daughter. I know this for several reasons: on a recent visit while my daughter was checking her email she told me that she had not written several of the emails that had been sent. I have access to my daughters email account and am also able to see the account activity which is showing an IP address for an Android phone. For example the last email I received from my "daughter" corresponded times with the android IP address. My daughter is under 10 she never has typed an email with perfect grammar or punctuality when I get them perfectly written I know that her Mother is at it again. All I want to do is maintain all communication lines with my daughter. I am frustrated and need some advice on how to handle the situation without losing my cool. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    Email is not a protected communication when it involves minors.

    Sure, you could waste the court's time asking for it to become part of your court order but honestly? This is micro-managing to an almost insane degree.

    I suspect that any judge will think of the whole picture - an under 10 year old with unsupervised access to the 'Net is NOT a good idea.

    You can however request phone/skype visitation with set times/days.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    I find it odd you have no issue with you having access to your daughters email yet you have a problem with the other parent having access.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    Quote Quoting jk
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    I find it odd you have no issue with you having access to your daughters email yet you have a problem with the other parent having access.

    Oh snap, I didn't even register that!

    Yeah. Good for goose, gander, all that.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    Ten year-olds who live between two households should not be on the internet alone. I say this as a parent and as a knowledge worker who has her head in the internet all day long.

    It's barely safe for ME in here.

    Daddles, you're going to have to get used to BOTH of you having access to her email account. If you want direct communication, instead of filtered through Mom, Skype is the way to go.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    I don't have a problem with us both having access, that is not what this is about. Her mother is the one who has set her up on email and gives her access to the internet. None of this is the issue the issue is that her mom who listens to all our conversations, hovers when we Skype also replies to emails as my daughter. The messages are never anything serious just another way to keep in touch. It is just annoying.

  7. #7

    Default Re: My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    The bottom line being that you can either (a) put up with the annoyance, or (b) push the issue and have mom cut of ALL forms of contact that are not expressly spelled out and required by court order. Your choice as to whether it's a hill you want to die on or not.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    Quote Quoting nevisisle
    View Post
    I don't have a problem with us both having access, that is not what this is about. Her mother is the one who has set her up on email and gives her access to the internet. None of this is the issue the issue is that her mom who listens to all our conversations, hovers when we Skype also replies to emails as my daughter. The messages are never anything serious just another way to keep in touch. It is just annoying.

    It's only annoying if you allow it to be annoying.

    Stop allowing this stuff to rent that much space in your head - seriously
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    244

    Default Re: My Ex- Reads the Emails I Send to Our Daughter

    Quote Quoting nevisisle
    View Post
    I don't have a problem with us both having access, that is not what this is about. Her mother is the one who has set her up on email and gives her access to the internet. None of this is the issue the issue is that her mom who listens to all our conversations, hovers when we Skype also replies to emails as my daughter. The messages are never anything serious just another way to keep in touch. It is just annoying.
    My daughter has a 9 year old and she monitors everything, emails, text, phone calls. There is a reason my daughter does it, for one of course anything to do with high tech is a safety issue when your talking kids and should be monitored. But the other is to make sure no hanky business is going on by the other side or anyone associated with the other side. Which has occurred in her case, a couple of non legal parties to the case, like to enter into phone calls and emails with the child, and say things that should not be said in split situations. So has any of that occurred in your case? Why the need for such privacy? The time you actually spend with your daughter, well you have all the privacy then.

    Now my daughter would never answer back pretending to be the child and that I would not be pleased with. I would simply send mom an email, asking her to stop responding as the child, but she does have a right to monitor the email, Skype and phone calls. On the Skype or phone calls, if she is inserting herself well then again I would send her an email and ask that stop.

    If she is a difficult person though, often saying something to them, only backfires on you. Then they know it is getting to you, so they increase the crazy crap. Sometimes just ignoring it and that includes not saying a thing to your daughter about it(kids run and tell the other parent all kinds of things, you would be surprised what my grandson tells), gets the other party to end it faster, not fun playing games by yourself.

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