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  1. #1
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    Sep 2013
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    5

    Default How to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    I share 50/50 split legal & physical custody our two sons with my ex-wife for the past 5 years and pay her child support.

    I feel she is an unfit mother because: she was fired her f/t job 4 years ago and now does occassional work for money, not sure where her other money is coming from. I helped her buy her house when we split up 8 years ago and I pay her child support to help put a roof over our boys' heads. She started renting out the kids room to various tenants forcing the kids to sleep in the living room with a makeshift sheet as a separator. Also she got remarried 4 years ago to another man, although they've since separated. I also strongly believe that she is still using illegal drugs. She also stopped paying for a few of her credit card bills and mortgage, so the home may go to auction soon and I still get calls from collections agencies for her.
    She doesn't want to agree with me or pay half for the kids' activities or make good decisions on their school which confuses the kids, including not wanting them to attend Sunday School at my church, which I recommended as it's important for them to learn about God.

    I have been in a good stable job with benefits for the past 15 years. I recently remarried 3 years ago and have another child from my new marriage. My wife (who also has a good job) and I own a 4 bedroom house where the kids have their own bedrooms. Also my mother-in-law lives with us and is another responsible adult in the house.

    Do I have a chance at getting full legal & physical custody of my boys (giving her only visitation rights every other Saturday) and stop payment of child support towards her?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Inland Empire
    Posts
    1,410

    Default Re: Would Like to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    Quote Quoting Jaspers
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    I share 50/50 split legal & physical custody our two sons with my ex-wife for the past 5 years and pay her child support.

    I feel she is an unfit mother because: she was fired her f/t job 4 years ago and now does occassional work for money, not sure where her other money is coming from. I helped her buy her house when we split up and I pay her child support to help put a roof over our boys' heads. She started renting out the kids room to various tenants forcing the kids to sleep in the living room with a makeshift sheet as a separator. Also she got remarried 4 years ago to another man, although they've since separated. I also strongly believe that she is still using illegal drugs. She also stopped paying for a few of her credit card bills and mortgage, so the home may go to auction soon and I still get calls from collections agencies for her.
    She doesn't want to agree with me or pay half for the kids' activities or make good decisions on their school which confuses the kids, including not wanting them to attend Sunday School at my church, which I recommended as it's important for them to learn about God.

    I have been in a good stable job with benefits for the past 15 years. I recently remarried 3 years ago and have another child from my new marriage. My wife (who also has a good job) and I own a 4 bedroom house where the kids have their own bedrooms. Also my mother-in-law lives with us and is another responsible adult in the house.

    Do I have a chance at getting full legal & physical custody of my boys (giving her only visitation rights every other Saturday) and stop payment of child support towards her?
    What proof do you have that she is using illegal drugs?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Would Like to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    I don't have much proof, just the strong smell of marijuana when I come to pick them up at the door. She was a user when I was married to her and believe she still is now.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Inland Empire
    Posts
    1,410

    Default Re: Would Like to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    Quote Quoting Jaspers
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    I don't have much proof, just the strong smell of marijuana when I come to pick them up at the door. She was a user when I was married to her and believe she still is now.
    You don't have a change in circumstance that would warrant a change in custody.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
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    5

    Default Re: Would Like to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    What can I do? Can't I get a higher percentage of physical custody or at least legal custody of my kids so I can make the decisions?
    Do I have to keep paying her child support when she is obviously not trying to better herself or be a good example for the kids.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Inland Empire
    Posts
    1,410

    Default Re: Would Like to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    Quote Quoting Jaspers
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    What can I do? Can't I get a higher percentage of physical custody or at least legal custody of my kids so I can make the decisions?
    Do I have to keep paying her child support when she is obviously not trying to better herself or be a good example for the kids.
    She doesn't have to "better" herself. She doesn't have to be a good example. She just has to mother her children, and you don't get to decide how that gets done.

  7. #7
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    Sep 2013
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    5

    Default Re: Would Like to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    What about the kids who are 11 and 13 yo don't have any privacy with tenants renting out their old bedroom?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,996

    Default Re: How to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    Quote Quoting Jaspers
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    I share 50/50 split legal & physical custody our two sons with my ex-wife for the past 5 years and pay her child support.

    I feel she is an unfit mother because: she was fired her f/t job 4 years ago and now does occassional work for money, not sure where her other money is coming from.
    Not relevant at all to fitness

    I helped her buy her house when we split up 8 years ago and I pay her child support to help put a roof over our boys' heads.
    Not relevant at all to fitness.

    She started renting out the kids room to various tenants forcing the kids to sleep in the living room with a makeshift sheet as a separator.
    Not relevant at all to fitness.

    Also she got remarried 4 years ago to another man, although they've since separated. I also strongly believe that she is still using illegal drugs.
    Per your follow up post you cannot prove this with hard, cold, evidence, nor could you prove with hard, cold, evidence that it is harming your children.

    She also stopped paying for a few of her credit card bills and mortgage, so the home may go to auction soon and I still get calls from collections agencies for her.
    Not relevant to fitness

    She doesn't want to agree with me or pay half for the kids' activities or make good decisions on their school which confuses the kids, including not wanting them to attend Sunday School at my church, which I recommended as it's important for them to learn about God.
    She is not required to agree with you, not required to pay 1/2 of kid's activities that you choose, and not required to allow them to attend Sunday School at your church on her time. Prove that she is harming the children with her decisions regarding school with hard, cold, evidence.

    I have been in a good stable job with benefits for the past 15 years. I recently remarried 3 years ago and have another child from my new marriage. My wife (who also has a good job) and I own a 4 bedroom house where the kids have their own bedrooms. Also my mother-in-law lives with us and is another responsible adult in the house.
    All of this is completely irrelevant.

    Do I have a chance at getting full legal & physical custody of my boys (giving her only visitation rights every other Saturday) and stop payment of child support towards her?
    Nope, I don't think that you have anything at all to go on.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: How to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    Llworking,

    Thank you but what can I do? Can I ask for increased legal or physical custody instead? She's about to lose her house in a few months. I don't want the kids living in random places.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,988

    Default Re: How to Change from Split Custody to Full Physical and Legal Custody

    Quote Quoting Jaspers
    View Post
    Llworking,
    I don't want the kids living in random places.
    if by random places you mean staying with relaltives or renting ana apartment you still have no case whatsoever.

    if by random places you mean bus stations and malls and parking overnight at walmart to sleep, that would be something the court will consider.

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