Are you fessing up to the same violation or a different one in addition to the September violation? Also, I am not clear on how you would forget about one citation if you had not received a summons...
If you're implying that you never received notice when you missed payment, then it is possible that the address on your license or the address on the citation that was originally issued is different than your current address. This is the typical reason why people may not receive a reminder notice or one issued for a late fee.
That does not require a check of whether your license is suspended or not.
Ditto as above.
Double Ditto to the above.
There really isn't much that anyone can do or say to offer any help. If payment is required to re-open the case, then that must happen as step one. From the court's stand point, and regardless of the underlying circumstances, you defaulted on paying a citation. This might be the reason why payment is required to get the matter open and rescheduled.
Same thing with the DMV... Any services that they offer require timely and immediate payment. And looking on the bright side of things and even though you stated you do not drive often, this could have been much worse had you been pulled over and cited for driving while suspended.
Needles to say, you don't have to do it all in one day. Split it over a few weeks time and the bite might feel a little more manageable.
Good luck!

