Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    13

    Default What Happens if Parents with Joint Legal Custody Disagree on Education

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

    Relevant Background: parents have shared parenting agreement where both legal and physical custody is 50/50. Parents live in separate school districts and "parent a" has residential parent for school placement purposes.

    Situation: parent a has done ample work with the child to get the child ahead academically. Parent b has done very little but sees child is ahead. The child dislikes school work and hates being challenged or having to think. Parent b wishes to try and place the child in a gifted program. We will give parent b the benefit of the doubt and say it is to help the child succeed (as opposed to bragging rights since parent b has been bragging since kindergarten that the child is gifted). Parent a sees the child dislikes school work as it is and in an attempt to salvage whatever small portion of liking school remains wishes to keep the child in standard classes. Because this issue was brought up last year (a year before they test), parent a has largely stopped trying to get the child ahead and already this year the child displays some difficulty doing standard level homework, which reinforces parent a's theory that the child only appeared gifted because of hard work to get ahead (the child is without a doubt a talented student, parent a just does not believe a gifted program is the correct decision for the child's personality.

    Since the child is still a fair ways ahead of her class-especially in reading-it is still very possible for her to score well on the test. Should that happen, agreement between the parents is unlikely and of course there can't be a compromise-the child will either be in a gifted program or not-child cannot be "partly" in a gifted program after all.

    Question: in the event that the parents cannot agree on this issue, would the ultimate choice go to the parent with residential custody for school purposes? If not then what is the likely result?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    The likely result is that the child will intentionally do poorly in the gifted classes to get removed from them and their GPA will suffer. It is one thing to make a child stay in mainstream high school, it is another to push them into an area they do not want to be which requires dedication they do not have.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    I should clarify: the child is 7 and in 2nd grade. Gifted starts in third grade.

    By your response I take it that legally what is likely to happen is...parent b that doesn't have residential for school will get the final say? Why?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    Disagreeable wasn't saying that. He was saying that if the child does go to gifted classes, that it won't be a good fit, and will put her further behind. He agrees with you.

    Honestly, no one can tell you what a judge will say, but I'd say you have a good argument. Can you get some written confirmation from her teachers that the gifted program would not be a good fit for her at this time?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    Ah I get it. Yes-we agree. Putting her in gifted would definitely contribute to her continuing dislike of school.

    That is questionable. New school year, new teacher. Her teacher from last year was aware of her situation and would likely provide a letter stating so. This year is a question mark since the year has just begun. But parent conferences are at the end of the month and parent b is likely to begin discussions with the teacher at that time (like last year).

    But does that mean the likely result would be mediation/court? My main concern isn't where a judge will decide-I'm really more interested if "residential parent for school placement purposes" would grant that parent final say? So far, in addition to getting her into the school, the school also will not allow parent b to call the child off of school-she tried and the school said parent a must call her off. I wanted to know if that would also apply in this situation?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    It really depends on the specifics of what your order says. (it may speak to this in more than one place, and we'd need to read exactly what it says besides just "for school residential purposes" which could mean the child lives there because that's the school both of the parents want her to go to)

    So, if you'd like to post what it says regarding school, and what it says regarding shared custody, (leaving out any identifying information) we can go from there.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    Well the custody order is a several page document. I think what you are wanting to know is this though:

    The custody order designates both parents are residential "with father being the residential parent for school placement purposes." And that is the only place it mentions it. It was decided because ex lives in the worst school district (can't afford to live in a better one) and I worked my but off to live in one of the best for her (in the area at least). I was under the impression the designation JUST for school placement purposes when talking with the lawyer, but then the way the school treats it like it is slightly more than that (I.e.-their policy that only I can call them off.) which is why I was hoping the school would use my decision over hers in a dispute (even if it were a temporary thing until we sorted it out.)

    Because I am 90% sure that she cannot afford to pay for mediation or a lawyer or court costs or anything like that. So if the school will take my side and recommend mediation or court if she doesn't like it, I'm almost positive the issue will stop there.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    Dislike of school can come from a number of factors.... peer relations, bullying, anxiety, difficulty with academics, boredom.... Without knowing the cause it's difficult to suggest how it could be improved, save for noting that until the cause is addressed the child is likely to continue to dislike school.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    Quote Quoting Justlearning
    View Post
    Well the custody order is a several page document. I think what you are wanting to know is this though:

    The custody order designates both parents are residential "with father being the residential parent for school placement purposes." And that is the only place it mentions it. It was decided because ex lives in the worst school district (can't afford to live in a better one) and I worked my but off to live in one of the best for her (in the area at least). I was under the impression the designation JUST for school placement purposes when talking with the lawyer, but then the way the school treats it like it is slightly more than that (I.e.-their policy that only I can call them off.) which is why I was hoping the school would use my decision over hers in a dispute (even if it were a temporary thing until we sorted it out.)

    Because I am 90% sure that she cannot afford to pay for mediation or a lawyer or court costs or anything like that. So if the school will take my side and recommend mediation or court if she doesn't like it, I'm almost positive the issue will stop there.
    Based on the wording of your order, and the fact that you have true joint physical and legal custody, neither one of you has veto power. You MUST come to an agreement or you MUST take it to a judge for a decision.

    The school cannot arbitrarily take one parent's side over the other parent. If the school does, then the school is not operating inside the law. If the school does, then that does not protect you from being held in contempt for violating the court order. Now, if the school actually agrees with one parent over the other, based on actual criteria, that is a different story.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: When Parents with Joint Legal Disagree on Education

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Based on the wording of your order, and the fact that you have true joint physical and legal custody, neither one of you has veto power. You MUST come to an agreement or you MUST take it to a judge for a decision.

    The school cannot arbitrarily take one parent's side over the other parent. If the school does, then the school is not operating inside the law. If the school does, then that does not protect you from being held in contempt for violating the court order. Now, if the school actually agrees with one parent over the other, based on actual criteria, that is a different story.
    Ok, thank you-this was exactly what I was looking for (not the answer I was hoping for, but the answer I was looking for-if that makes sense).

    Which brings another question (sorry). If we can't agree, and we have to go to court, obviously I am only responsible for 1/2 of the court cost (plus my lawyer), correct? So if she cannot pay her half of the fees, will that prevent it from going to the court? Or would it just be added as a debt? I won't be in contempt for not paying her half, right? Sorry this just comes across as an unusual situation to me since no one is actually filing a motion (because there appears to be no default on the part of the school), but rather we are being forced to court for being unable to agree. And then, if her being unable to pay her side puts her in contempt, since the school has no default, that would mean that I would have to file a motion of contempt?

    I'm sure I'm way over thinking this.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    Dislike of school can come from a number of factors.... peer relations, bullying, anxiety, difficulty with academics, boredom.... Without knowing the cause it's difficult to suggest how it could be improved, save for noting that until the cause is addressed the child is likely to continue to dislike school.
    Yes, there are a number of contributing factors to her dislike of school. I didn't go into full detail of all my observations, but rather posted the observations relevant to the specific issue at hand.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Modification of Custody: Modifying Custody from Joint Legal to Sole Legal
    By Steph1986 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-25-2012, 06:58 PM
  2. Parents With Joint Custody Creating a Will for Custody Upon Death
    By abarzee in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-05-2010, 08:07 PM
  3. Parents Disagree Over Child's Diet
    By PCMom in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-13-2010, 12:20 PM
  4. Establishing an Order: Joint Custody For Unmarried Parents
    By kanela in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-23-2007, 05:09 AM
  5. Parents disagree about medicating child with ADD
    By kriky in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-21-2006, 10:27 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources