Fulfilled Obligation and Arrears

[FatherWhoWon]

I hate to ask this.

But are you absolutely sure he's remembering correctly? As a rule, CSE don't just open new cases like that. Something would have triggered it - and if Mom had tried to get child support after the age of majority, they simply would have turned her down.

I have to respectfully disagree. I have gone through nightmares with dcse here in VA, got new and different numbers for "arrears" thrown at me every time I turned around (some higher, and some lower), finally went before the judge who threw it all out and said I was not in arrears at all (though I kept quite meticulous records and am grateful for that - including records of payments I made through them that they somehow forgot about.) Anyhow, the judge dismissed it all WITH prejudice, and they still tried to bring it back up, resulting in going back to the judge and having him tell them again to basically stop harassing me.

All it takes is for mom to say "he didn't pay." They have shabby record keeping at best, and if she went from one city to the next, I've no doubt that something could very well have been lost in translation. The burden for proof of payment is entirely on dad.

Has dad tried going to the office in the city where he originally paid through? You do actually have to go - sometimes even several times. Nobody ever called me back. Not once.

You may have to consider hiring an attorney, but do as much leg work as possible first.


Oh, and the case information through the website is very simple to look up. If he has a statement from them with a case number it takes about 60 seconds. He'll have to request a password be mailed to him for anything past the last year, though, but that's also quick and easy to request online and it *should* give a complete history.

[JSpence]

No I hadn't seen that Blossom. Thank you, I will definitely look into that.

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I have to respectfully disagree. I have gone through nightmares with dcse here in VA, got new and different numbers for "arrears" thrown at me every time I turned around (some higher, and some lower), finally went before the judge who threw it all out and said I was not in arrears at all (though I kept quite meticulous records and am grateful for that - including records of payments I made through them that they somehow forgot about.) Anyhow, the judge dismissed it all WITH prejudice, and they still tried to bring it back up, resulting in going back to the judge and having him tell them again to basically stop harassing me.

All it takes is for mom to say "he didn't pay." They have shabby record keeping at best, and if she went from one city to the next, I've no doubt that something could very well have been lost in translation. The burden for proof of payment is entirely on dad.

Has dad tried going to the office in the city where he originally paid through? You do actually have to go - sometimes even several times. Nobody ever called me back. Not once.

You may have to consider hiring an attorney, but do as much leg work as possible first.


Oh, and the case information through the website is very simple to look up. If he has a statement from them with a case number it takes about 60 seconds. He'll have to request a password be mailed to him for anything past the last year, though, but that's also quick and easy to request online and it *should* give a complete history.

Thank you very much! I'm just totally lost concerning all of this as I've never experienced something so confusing. I just simply think she was in a financial bind and thought "a-ha, he still owes me those few months from years ago, let's see where it goes". Now he's owing thousands of dollars and for what? We had tried going straight to the Fairfax County CSE to see what could be done and they told him that it was a matter with the county that she now lives in. You would think that it's all tied together? Although I wanted to keep it attorney-free, I do feel I have no choice. We no longer live in Virginia and I can't afford to to up there and hound them for something that they've done wrong. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels their record keeping is crappy. But to answer your question, yes he's tried going straight to the office back in 2010 when all this started. I'm hopeful something will give. He just got a letter yesterday stating that he has been unresponsive to them so now they will attempt to go through our current state.
He has tried numerous times to get this settled. Now they're going to say he hasn't been responsive? Wonder what they will do if I tape two cents to the inside of an envelope and send it to them? This is crazy! That letter is what sent me on a roll to try to find out what I can do for him.
I just wish I had some what of an inkling what to do but being you've dealt with VA, I will heed your advice.
Thank you very much!

[FatherWhoWon]

Oh dear, adding another state to the mix is not going to help. I'm sorry, I don't have much encouragement for you. You really need to gather up all of the documentation you can. If you don't have it, I'm not sure how you're going to get out of this mess.

In the meantime, if you are sure the debt is not accurate, consider only having accounts and property in your name. If your new state is involved, they may come after anything in dad's name. Tax returns, checking accounts, liens on homes and vehicles...

[JSpence]

Exactly. This is why we are not married. Until this mess is straightened out, I can't have anything in his name attached to mine.
He does have everything documented, like yourself. Even papers where he gave her money, he had her sign that she received x amount of dollars.
I just got off the phone with DCSE and while she couldn't really tell me anything because it isn't my case, she was able to clear up a lot of general questions. The letter that he received in the mail yesterday stated "Our records indicate that you have failed to communicate with our state agency. Due to your willful evasion, we shall pursue enforcement action through the state you reside. Also, your case is being reviewed to determine if federal prosecution is necessary." What does this mean? He has tried communicating several times. I am unsure of what is going to happen and how long it takes for anything to happen.
I do want him to clear the matter up, as does he. I did ask the woman if he can get a hardship license so that he can actually get a job and correct this issue and she stated I had to contact the courts in VA regarding a restricted license. Then she stated that just because the VA license was suspended for child support, it didn't mean he couldn't have a license here in Florida. I thought all of this stuff was tied together??? She stated "not necessarily".
Ugh this stinks. I'll keep you guys posted. I'm determined to fix this, although it isn't for me to fix, I assumed his baggage the day we started this journey.
Thank you all for all of your help, you've been wonderful! Enjoy your week!

[EA1070a]

Dad really needs an attorney here. Sorting out a mess like this can be a nightmare.

Does he have complete records of all payments made, all court rulings on support orders, etc? I've kept everything going back almost 20 years - all paystubs, all letters from DCSS, letters from his kids' high school confirming graduation, the letters from the support agency here and in the state where mom lives stating they were dropping her case due to her third party collection efforts - everything.

His ex claimed he owed thousands in back support and even though we had proof month by month of payments, it still took almost a year and hiring an attorney to sort it out. They wouldn't listen to us, but they paid attention when an attorney was brought in - and it still took the attorney several months to fix it. Mom just arbitrarily marked missed months in her initial DCSS filing and had no clue that I kept meticulous records. I still have every single cancelled check when payments were sent to her directly.

Dad needs to file a motion with the court for determination of arrearages and subpoena his payment records and accounting from all agencies who collected support on mom's behalf throughout the years. He has an absolute right to this information. And he is going to need an attorney for all of this.

[JSpence]

Dad really needs an attorney here. Sorting out a mess like this can be a nightmare.

Does he have complete records of all payments made, all court rulings on support orders, etc? I've kept everything going back almost 20 years - all paystubs, all letters from DCSS, letters from his kids' high school confirming graduation, the letters from the support agency here and in the state where mom lives stating they were dropping her case due to her third party collection efforts - everything.

His ex claimed he owed thousands in back support and even though we had proof month by month of payments, it still took almost a year and hiring an attorney to sort it out. They wouldn't listen to us, but they paid attention when an attorney was brought in - and it still took the attorney several months to fix it. Mom just arbitrarily marked missed months in her initial DCSS filing and had no clue that I kept meticulous records. I still have every single cancelled check when payments were sent to her directly.

Dad needs to file a motion with the court for determination of arrearages and subpoena his payment records and accounting from all agencies who collected support on mom's behalf throughout the years. He has an absolute right to this information. And he is going to need an attorney for all of this.

Thank you for your response. Yes, he has kept every bit of information ever exchanged, sent to him, copies of things he has had to send, etc.
I was afraid of going the attorney route as I really can't afford one but I'm sure someone out there may be willing to work with me, at least I hope.
Thank you for your support!

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I was just going through some of his papers and came across their divorce decree. It states "neither spouse is required to pay spousal or child support to the other, and therefore, Section 20-60.3 is not applicable". I would imagine that is why he has a mountain of papers that have her signature, indicating that he gave her $. Wonder if he can use this to his advantage?

[Dogmatique]

Not likely - CS cannot be completely waived like that. Either parent can initiate proceedings to get a CS order put in place.