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  1. #1
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    Aug 2013
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    Cool Possible Domestic Violence Charge, Didn't Answer the Door for the Police

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: IN

    Basically we had a fight in the morning, she was leaving, and we were fighting still (not physically). I told her to leave and she was backing up not looking where she was going and fell over some stuff in the garage (she was still half drunk from the night before, she fell out of the tub last night too), i tried to help her up but she pushed me away and said she was calling the cops. I immediately closed the garage, locked the doors and pulled all the blinds down. Shortly later she was knocking on the door, she came around back and was smoking a cigarette crying I was trying to comfort her when I heard cars pulling up. I realized it was the police and told her to come inside (they couldn't see us because of the privacy fence.. thank god), but she immediately headed towards them. I went in the house, and through a blind I could see her talking to the cops and pointing at her arm... not good.

    They rang the doorbell a couple of times, and I got dressed ready for jail but because of my anxiety panic disorder, I stayed in the house afraid to come out. But they couldn't see nor hear me, for all they knew I wasn't there. They LITERALLY stayed outside my house for 2-3 hours, I assumed waiting on a warrant so they could come in and drag me out, but that never happened. At the end someone called my house, and rang again after I didn't answer (probably got my number from her). I looked outside and they had finally left. But I immediately got a message from her via Facebook stating she was pressing charges and the cops were on the way to the prosecuters office to issue a warrant for me. She said if I gave her 150$ for a phone (she lost it and of course blames me for it) by monday she would drop the charges, all of this messaging me from her FB account. I told her I couldn't work and called off tonight because the cops possibly being after me but I would get her her money. She went to go on that the cops told her it might take a couple days for the warrant to come through, so she told me that I better get Fu**ing to it, and she didn't care if I had to sell my car if she didn't have every cent by monday she would keep with the charges, I would go to jail and it would be a violation of my probation (I'm on probation btw).

    I took screenshots of all this, I barely said a response except that I would try and get her her money, but she's obviously blackmailing me with assault charges for money she feels she's owed. Obviously I'd pay her since she says she'll drop the charges. But I cant take her word for it. What are the chances a warrant will be issued? Its been 4 hours since the cops left and they havn't returned. I'm checking through my voicemails but I have 200 damn old messages I have to go through to get to it if one was even left, and if it was the cops at that. I have to work tomorrow, I already called off tonight for a family emergency...

    I'm crossing my fingers that Ill get a case summons, not a warrant, but I don't know if I'm already in violation of my probation. What should I expect? I will mention this girl is extremely vindictive, shes already threatened me a year ago with sexual assault, shes punched me in the face, she was kicked out of her mom's house 4 months ago, pops pills, smokes weed, and drinks to intoxication EVERY night. Last night when she was drunk we were trying to take a shower and she fell out of the tub, I barely caught her. Now that I'm thinking about it what if she messed her arm up then? I have a video of her last night trying to climb in our rabbit's cage (all metal wires), it showed how drunk she was and that her arm could of got scraped on that cage too.

    BTW, I'm still holed up in my house with every light off and every shade drawn.

    edit.. I will mention when the fighting started initially she was complaining about me not replacing her phone. I think this is her enacting revenge against me to get me to give her $$$

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Didn't Answer the Door when the Cops Came and My Girlfriend Was Outside

    It is unlikely the police will come back to arrest you. A warrant appears likely regardless of what she now claims. I suggest you be in your PO's office Tuesday morning sharp, with the messages. A lawyer would be a great idea also.

  3. #3
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Didn't Answer the Door when the Cops Came and My Girlfriend Was Outside

    If she has actually filed a complaint that is seen as domestic violence, it is no longer her choice to press or drop the charges if he prosecutor does file charges.

    If she was allowed entry to the house without specific permission (does she have a key? does she ever go there when you are not home), she could have let the cops in herself.

    I would contact a lawyer who can act as an intermediary to see if the cops/DA are actually considering charges. Whether you poke your head out of the hole or not is not going to stop the charges from being filed so it is better to do what you can now to correct any improper information given to the police.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Didn't Answer the Door when the Cops Came and My Girlfriend Was Outside

    Quote Quoting Disagreeable
    View Post
    It is unlikely the police will come back to arrest you. A warrant appears likely regardless of what she now claims. I suggest you be in your PO's office Tuesday morning sharp, with the messages. A lawyer would be a great idea also.
    I can't afford an attorney but will have to get a court appointed one. Should I call off work for the rest of the weekend? Just tell them I have a family emergency and I'm unsure when I will be able to return? And thanks for the advice.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting jk
    View Post
    If she has actually filed a complaint that is seen as domestic violence, it is no longer her choice to press or drop the charges if he prosecutor does file charges.

    If she was allowed entry to the house without specific permission (does she have a key? does she ever go there when you are not home), she could have let the cops in herself.

    I would contact a lawyer who can act as an intermediary to see if the cops/DA are actually considering charges. Whether you poke your head out of the hole or not is not going to stop the charges from being filed so it is better to do what you can now to correct any improper information given to the police.
    No, she can't get into the house. Before I closed the garage, I was sure to take my garage door opener out of my truck as well. As I said I can't contact an attorney since I can't afford one, should I contact my local clerk's office to see if a warrant has been issued? I know if I call the police, they will just say they can't tell me over the phone and have me come in then nab me.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Didn't Answer the Door when the Cops Came and My Girlfriend Was Outside

    well, what you do is up to you but unless you have a really amiable boss, calling off for the forseeable future is likely to result in a loss of a job. You are going to have to poke your head up eventually.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Didn't Answer the Door when the Cops Came and My Girlfriend Was Outside

    Your first duty appears to be contacting your PO. Remember that whole every time you come in contact with the police thing? Her threats, absent the fact police showed up should be enough to trigger that IMO.

  7. #7
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    Aug 2013
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    Default Re: Didn't Answer the Door when the Cops Came and My Girlfriend Was Outside

    I'm definitely calling her first thing Tuesday morning. Sure enough though 10 minutes the GF has been calling me wanting to come over now. It seemed at first like she was trying to set me up trying to get me to say I grabbed or pushed her, I know better than to say I did something I didn't to appease her or the cops if they are listening. But she didn't remember anything, and she said the cop told her he could smell alcohol on her, gave her a mint, and told her not to wreck on her way home. What a jerk! I told her that once it's brought to the police they put it to the prosecuter and then the state decides if they want to pick it up regardless of the female's choice. She's trying to tell me that its completely up to her. That the cops gave her a number to call that she can press charges or drop charges, and the cop told her if she was an unwilling witness or something from her on out that there is nothing they can do. It all sounds like a bunch of bs to me. I'm pretty sure its out of her hands now that they have taken pictures.

    So now this crazy girl is wanting to come over and have sex and such, but I'm paranoid its a ploy to get the cops over here while shes in the house this time and then lets them in. I guess when they were here they couldn't come get me, but had I been outside or answered the door they would have arrested me. But I'm wondering if I somewhat patch things up that she can drop it. Right now at this moment I'm thinking of my kids, and my job, not to mention charges. I still have the pics of her messages, and now her saying that the cops told her she smelled of alcohol.

    I know I'm telling a lot, but when our relationship was newer she had done some drugs one night and we drank together. I didn't realize how messed up she was, and when she woke up she tried to accuse me of drugging her a day later and was threatening to press sexual assault charges. Somehow I talked her out of it, I don't even know how she got it into her head. But this is this girl's MO it seems, if she's not going to be with me shes going to burn me. I feel though that she took it too far this morning and I might be in trouble.

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