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  1. #1
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    Aug 2013
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    Fall River, Massachusetts, United States
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    3

    Question Non Custodial Parent Moving Over 200 Miles Away

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Massachusetts

    My child's father wants to move slightly over 200 miles away in another state. Our court order states he can take our child Saturday afternoons to Sunday evening, almost the same order as his other child. Well, he wants to bring her to his house Friday nights to Sunday night. I told him it was ok as long as I could keep her 1 weekend a month. He agreed. I also told him I won't be providing any transportation, he also agreed. We go back to court October 23rd to see the judge. If he requests I provide transportation 1 way will they give that to him? I have 2 other children & do not want to spend my Friday nights driving 7-8 hours & I work Sundays so it's impossible for me to spend my Sundays driving that many hours. He hasn't moved yet bc we have court in October, he said he's going to move right after Halloween. Also, the court order says nothing about taking a child out of state for visits. We currently live in the same city.
    I wanted to clarify the reason I say he agreed then I'm asking questions about if he brings it up in court...
    He had also agreed that I could bring our child on vacation to Florida & he agreed then when we were arguing about money that he owes me he threatened to not let her go to Florida... He's unpredictable when he gets angry & I will be asking the court to increase his child support to the court ordered guidelines on that day. Him & I had an agreement I would allow $40 a week less in child support if he gave me some $ every week to pay back what he owes & as of now, 4 months later I haven't received a penny, so I will be making him angry when we go to court that day.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Non Custodial Parent Moving Over 200 Miles Away

    Quote Quoting Krissy Langley Silva
    View Post
    If he requests I provide transportation 1 way will they give that to him?
    They would if you didn't fight it. For example, "Your Honor, HE is the one who moved and created the distance, so HE needs to be the one figuring out transportation, especially in light of this creating issues for my two other children".


    Also, the court order says nothing about taking a child out of state for visits. We currently live in the same city.
    The geography of the visits isn't so much an issue. He's just as much dad in one state as another. Where you'll want to put some consideration is into the visitation schedule. Given the new distances involved, that's going to put a lot of drive time on the kids. Depending on their ages and their school committments, every weekend may be out of the realm of reality, or, there may need to be language in your order that addresses things like homework needing to be done while at dad's, since the kids are going to be spending big chunks of weekends in the car.

    I have 2 other children & do not want to spend my Friday nights driving 7-8 hours & I work Sundays so it's impossible for me to spend my Sundays driving that many hours.
    That's exactly why you ask the court to consider altering the visitation schedule to something more reasonable, like every OTHER weekend, with dad doing the driving, and/or supplementing with things like Skype and phone calls. The thing dad is ultimately going to have to understand is that him moving AWAY from his children is GOING to mean spending less face to face time with them. Let the judge 'splain it to him - they've all got a favorite way to "bring down the gavel of reality".


    He had also agreed that I could bring our child on vacation to Florida
    Why would he NEED to agree? Anything in your court orders about that? If not, not an issue.


    he agreed then when we were arguing about money that he owes me he threatened to not let her go to Florida
    Why do EITHER of you think this is his call, unless it's in your court orders for some reason?


    He's unpredictable when he gets angry
    That's why your court orders are so important. THOSE are what you're both bound by, angry or not, side agreements or not.


    I will be asking the court to increase his child support to the court ordered guidelines on that day. Him & I had an agreement I would allow $40 a week less in child support if he gave me some $ every week to pay back what he owes
    Bad idea. Again, the court order for support is what is enforceable, and when you start dealing outside of those orders, you effectively negate the court's ability to support you in enforcing what's owed. And, you agreeing to allow LESS than the support order doesn't carry any legal weight, as child support enforcement will continue to hold him accountable for exactly what's in the order.


    now, 4 months later I haven't received a penny, so I will be making him angry when we go to court that day.
    Sucks to be him. Wait till he hears the judge get angry right back at him for not complying with the child support order.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Non Custodial Parent Moving Over 200 Miles Away

    Just an FYI on the Florida thing...

    When court orders state that a child cannot be removed from the state without the permission of the other parent they are talking about MOVING the child out of state, they are NOT talking about taking the child out of state for a vacation.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    Fall River, Massachusetts, United States
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    Default Re: Non Custodial Parent Moving Over 200 Miles Away

    The court allowed the lower child support & that's what he pays. The court guidelines would be $140/week & he asked for $100/week, I agreed & that's what the court ordered at the time with the mediator. We haven't seen the judge yet. Strange I know. I thought since we have joint legal custody he has to give permission for vacations. There's nothing in the court order about anything. All it says is: I have full physical custody, we have joint legal, he is required to pay $100/week which is $40/week less than court guidelines, I agreed to the lesser amount bc he provides for the child in other ways, he has to provide insurance, & his visitation is Saturday afternoon to Sunday evening. It's not even a full page lol

    Also, school & extra curricular activities do not apply yet, she will be 1 in 10 days.

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    They would if you didn't fight it. For example, "Your Honor, HE is the one who moved and created the distance, so HE needs to be the one figuring out transportation, especially in light of this creating issues for my two other children".




    The geography of the visits isn't so much an issue. He's just as much dad in one state as another. Where you'll want to put some consideration is into the visitation schedule. Given the new distances involved, that's going to put a lot of drive time on the kids. Depending on their ages and their school committments, every weekend may be out of the realm of reality, or, there may need to be language in your order that addresses things like homework needing to be done while at dad's, since the kids are going to be spending big chunks of weekends in the car.



    That's exactly why you ask the court to consider altering the visitation schedule to something more reasonable, like every OTHER weekend, with dad doing the driving, and/or supplementing with things like Skype and phone calls. The thing dad is ultimately going to have to understand is that him moving AWAY from his children is GOING to mean spending less face to face time with them. Let the judge 'splain it to him - they've all got a favorite way to "bring down the gavel of reality".




    Why would he NEED to agree? Anything in your court orders about that? If not, not an issue.




    Why do EITHER of you think this is his call, unless it's in your court orders for some reason?




    That's why your court orders are so important. THOSE are what you're both bound by, angry or not, side agreements or not.




    Bad idea. Again, the court order for support is what is enforceable, and when you start dealing outside of those orders, you effectively negate the court's ability to support you in enforcing what's owed. And, you agreeing to allow LESS than the support order doesn't carry any legal weight, as child support enforcement will continue to hold him accountable for exactly what's in the order.




    Sucks to be him. Wait till he hears the judge get angry right back at him for not complying with the child support order.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Non Custodial Parent Moving Over 200 Miles Away

    Quote Quoting Krissy Langley Silva
    View Post
    The court allowed the lower child support & that's what he pays. The court guidelines would be $140/week & he asked for $100/week, I agreed & that's what the court ordered at the time with the mediator. We haven't seen the judge yet. Strange I know. I thought since we have joint legal custody he has to give permission for vacations. There's nothing in the court order about anything. All it says is: I have full physical custody, we have joint legal, he is required to pay $100/week which is $40/week less than court guidelines, I agreed to the lesser amount bc he provides for the child in other ways, he has to provide insurance, & his visitation is Saturday afternoon to Sunday evening. It's not even a full page lol

    Also, school & extra curricular activities do not apply yet, she will be 1 in 10 days.
    He does not have the right to veto vacation plans for you just because he has joint legal custody.

    Its also highly unlikely that a court would grant him three weekends a month when he choses to move 200 miles away...or force you to share in the transportation. You also cannot really just ask for modification in court on the day you are there, you have to file for those modifications in advance...particularly child support since that is not always heard in the same hearing.

    I think that you need at least a consult with an attorney, and probably should hire one.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    Fall River, Massachusetts, United States
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    Default Re: Non Custodial Parent Moving Over 200 Miles Away

    Thank you

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