Teenage Daughter is Refusing to Come Home

[Rob23]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

I have custody of my 13, almost 14 year old daughter. On the 7/26/2013 I let her mother take her to visit with some family and her mother agreed to drop her of on 8/6/2013. Now the mother is refusing to drop her off and our daughter is refusing to come home. I have custody of our daughter and the mother only visitation day is every other Saturday until Sunday and the receiving parent is responsible to pick them up. On Tuesday I called the local police department and talk with an officer that told me she is breaking are court order and I should fill out a custody dispute order. After I ask her to bring our daughter back and the officer was unable to get in contact with her, that is what I did. I also ask her to bring her home every day sense, after being told no and the mother telling me that she is going to live with her now I have fill out the same form and dropping them off everyday. Today the mother came to pick up our son so I called the police department again and ask what I could do now. I was told there is nothing I can do today, but tomorrow is my normal day to pick her and go and pick her up. I know my daughter is going to refuse to come back with me and I am not sure what to do about this.

Our daughter is grounded at my house for past actions that has to do with sex and drugs, to me it does not seem that the mother cares that she has done these thing and lets her go and do what she want and acts like what our daughter has done is ok. We also have a 10 year old son and he is seeing every thing that is going on and this worries me also.

What should I do?

I am going to fill out the paper work to go back to court and fight for both of them to live with me this week. But she clams that she has a lawyer and I can not afford one should I be worried about that also?

[Dogmatique]

Go and pick up your child.

Go and get her. No ifs and or buts. She gets herself in the car. Otherwise, you'll need to file for contempt in court.

[cbg]

Do Mom and Little Miss understand that if Mom does not honor the court order, Mom could find herself in jail?

[Rob23]

No the mother says that she has a lawyer and he has told her the our daughter can chose if she want to stay with her mother and not come back to my house.

[cbg]

balderdash.

Either she doesn't have a lawyer, or she badly needs a new one.

[Rob23]

That's the plan but getting her in the car with out focusing her is two different things.

[Dogmatique]

No the mother says that she has a lawyer and he has told her the our daughter can chose if she want to stay with her mother and not come back to my house.

Rule #1: NEVER listen to your ex about legal issues.

In this case, she's delusional. There is only ONE state where a teen can present to the court an affidavit of preference which constitutes a change of circumstances in and of itself, and it ain't California.

Ask yourself this. If she HAS an attorney, why hasn't the attorney communicated this to you?

- - - Updated - - -

That's the plan but getting her in the car with out focusing her is two different things.

You simply explain to Mom - not kiddo - that if she disobeys the court order, she could very well end up with only supervised visitation. At HER expense.

[Rob23]

I think she's just telling me that she does because every thing that I have read is that she would have to take me to back to court before she could keep her.

[Dogmatique]

And even if she did, she'd have to show a substantial change of circumstances AND that the change would be in the child's best interest.

"I wanna stay with Mommy" isn't going to cut it.

[cbg]

And even in the sole state where a teen can express a preference and have some semblance of a guarantee of being listened to, I believe that a 13 year old is still below the line.