POA and elder guardianship

[BadTuna]

My father is 67 years old. After my mother passed, he remarried. That was 15 years ago and he has been diagnosed with mild dementia. He and my stepmother do not have the greatest of marriages, in fact they just kind've co-exist. She seems to have grown tired of living with my dad and after spending a week in a behavioral health center, he moved in with my husband and I until we can figure out whats best for him. We have been in contact with my stepmother and she is back and forth on the possiblity of divorce primarly because divorce would be financally challenging on her. I mentioned assisted living for my dad and she became very defensive and said "I'm the wife so I say where he goes not you". She then began to contact the V.A since he is a vet. She said she would like him to go to a V.A hospital long term. I feel she prefers this because V.A would be free and she could continue to receive his SS checks to pay her bills. My question is does she have the right as a spouse to lock him up and throw away the key? Keep in mind, he is far from being incompetent. I was advised to get poa papers signed. If she dosent get her way, I can see her wanting him to come home until the day were she can obtain guardingship of him and then lock him up. I need to know what actions to take today to prevent this.

[seniorjudge]

If he has "mild dementia" then he cannot sign a power of attorney.

Hire a lawyer and ask the court for guardianship/conservatorship over him.

[BadTuna]

I thought an individual had to be deemed incompetant. He presently seems pretty competant to where he could live on his own with someone checking on him daily.

[seniorjudge]

I am just going by your description of his actions; he does not sound like he could sign a valid power of attorney.

[BlondiePB]

I am just going by your description of his actions; he does not sound like he could sign a valid power of attorney.

I agree. (nice to see you posting again)

[BlondiePB]

I thought an individual had to be deemed incompetant. He presently seems pretty competant to where he could live on his own with someone checking on him daily.

A court "deems" an individual as incompetent, then appoints a guardian/conservator. A person who has dementia, as documented per a physician, cannot sign a valid POA. The spouse will have priority for guardianship.

Since they've been married 15 yrs., your step-mother does have rights that can include spousal support or alimony (in event of divorce) depending on the circumstances.