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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2

    Default Non-Custodial Parent is Changing Visitation Dates at the Last Minute

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas

    Me and my husband gained custody of his son 6 years ago (when he was 2) when the child's mother gave him to us. She lives in Ohio and we live in Texas. She has several chances to have him every year but only chooses to have him for 30 days every summer. In previous years she has never given us more than a week notice and we haven't made a big fuss. But this year she changed the dates several times. It was becoming a huge headache. Finally at some point she read the court orders which state that if she hasn't given notice by April 1 then she automatically gets him June 15-July 27. She sent us a certified letter stating she would pick him up June 16 and return him July 27 (as it states in the orders) ....but we didn't receive the letter until June 13 so we contacted our lawyer and he said that's not ok and that she already requested a different day and we should go off of that. We politely told her that it wasn't ok for her to continue to change dates and so she could pick him up at the original time she requested. She was very upset but agreed. So here is the problem, She refused to have him home on the 27th, she said he would come back the 30th. I realize this isn't a huge difference, but is she allowed to decide the dates herself? Don't we have to either agree or go by the order? I am scared that if she gets away with this behavior, next year will be worse. Also last year as well as this year, she has put him on an airplane by himself to fly home. She had asked us for permission and we said no because we didn't feel comfortable with that. She did it anyways. This year our lawyer told us to ask for her itinerary before we let him go with her, she told us twice that she would not put him on an airplane again and she would drive him home and now we find out that he will in fact be on an airplane alone. So is there anything we can do as far as how he gets home? I understand the competent adult thing, but we are very uncomfortable with him traveling that way. He has some minor medical issues that concern us if there were to be a layover or other circumstance. We do have a lawyer that we used years ago to win custody, but we are a little strapped for cash and so I'm wondering if anyone else could point us in the right direction without having to get the lawyer involved. I appreciate any and all help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Childs Mother (Non Custodial Parent) Will Not Obey the Court Orders. What Can I D

    There's nothing wrong with the child flying by himself. Flight staff are capable of handing medical emergencies...
    but WHO has custody? Were you also given custody of the child because you stated that you and your husband were granted custody and that's unusual when mom is still around.

    But I would tell your husband that being custodial parent requires some flexibility. It shouldn't always be about a power play and calling an attorney at every given moment. If he doesn't want to accumulate legal bills, stop trying to run to his attorney and have MOM AND DAD work this out.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Childs Mother (Non Custodial Parent) Will Not Obey the Court Orders. What Can I D

    Thanks for your advice, I should have been more specific. You are right, he does have custody and not me. I'm sorry if I misspoke. It's just that I took on mothering him full time since he was 2 because his mom wanted nothing to do with him. I love him as my own. And it wouldn't be a medical emergency necessarily, its just that he has bathroom issues. He was born with problems going poop and so he sometimes need assistance wiping and often has accidents. He is currently seeing a specialist for this problem and it is curable but it just takes time, so I guess my concern was more about what if he needs to be cleaned up? Or what if he is too embarrassed to tell a stranger what is going on? Also, my husband hasn't contacted the lawyer since the original custody issue 6 years ago, This was the first time. MOM and DAD have tried to work it out, I haven't talked to the mother at all and usually we get along ok, it's only this year that we seem to be having problems communicating and that's why I was just curious if there was anything we could do. Thank you again for your response.

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