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  1. #1
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    Default How to File for Custody and an Ex Parte Order to Stop Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    We do not have a court order for custody or visitation. We've been split for 4 1/2 years and have mutually agreed on Custody and visitation, but nothing done legally.

    Recently My 6 year old Child was with her dad for the weekend and was left under the care of her 12 year old step sister who took her to other homes in a Mobile Home park, During the travels in the park My daughter was not supervised by an adult. She was involved in a game of Truth or dare with Teenage kids and was kissed by a 16 year old. My Daughter also got in trouble for not returning home in time, and was told she should walk back by herself through the mobile home park to meet her curfew even if her 12 year old step sister doesn’t walk back with her. Her dads household has domestic violence between her dad and his girlfriend.

    This is not ok. The risk of a 6 yr old not under age approiate supervision is not okay with me. The kissing a teenager is not ok, and the trust of her walking through a mobile home park by herself is not ok. When I asked her father about it, he ignored me for 5 days. My daughter has not gone back since(its been two weeks) and at this point I want to go to court.

    I can't file an Ex parte without a case started. So I've been working on the paperwork to start the case. However, In the paperwork I believe I have to put how I want visitation to be, and I'm not sure what to put there. Of course i want her to have her dad in her life, but we can't be having these situation occur. Idealily i would like her dad to slowly earn his time back and show he is looking out for her and her safety.

    So if I'm doing an Ex parte to say he can't see her for now, do I also put no visitation on the FL 311 form? Eventually I do want him to have the ability to have visitation. These forms confuse me and self help was no help to me.

    Can anyone help me on how to start this process up?

  2. #2
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    Jul 2012
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    Default Re: Filing a Case Before an Ex Parte

    Were you and dad married when she was born? If not, has he been established as her legal father through the court?

  3. #3
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    Inland Empire
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    Default Re: Filing a Case Before an Ex Parte

    Quote Quoting nclifton
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    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    We do not have a court order for custody or visitation. We've been split for 4 1/2 years and have mutually agreed on Custody and visitation, but nothing done legally.

    Recently My 6 year old Child was with her dad for the weekend and was left under the care of her 12 year old step sister who took her to other homes in a Mobile Home park, During the travels in the park My daughter was not supervised by an adult. She was involved in a game of Truth or dare with Teenage kids and was kissed by a 16 year old. My Daughter also got in trouble for not returning home in time, and was told she should walk back by herself through the mobile home park to meet her curfew even if her 12 year old step sister doesn’t walk back with her. Her dads household has domestic violence between her dad and his girlfriend.

    This is not ok. The risk of a 6 yr old not under age approiate supervision is not okay with me. The kissing a teenager is not ok, and the trust of her walking through a mobile home park by herself is not ok. When I asked her father about it, he ignored me for 5 days. My daughter has not gone back since(its been two weeks) and at this point I want to go to court.

    I can't file an Ex parte without a case started. So I've been working on the paperwork to start the case. However, In the paperwork I believe I have to put how I want visitation to be, and I'm not sure what to put there. Of course i want her to have her dad in her life, but we can't be having these situation occur. Idealily i would like her dad to slowly earn his time back and show he is looking out for her and her safety.

    So if I'm doing an Ex parte to say he can't see her for now, do I also put no visitation on the FL 311 form? Eventually I do want him to have the ability to have visitation. These forms confuse me and self help was no help to me.

    Can anyone help me on how to start this process up?
    So a 16-year old kissed your 6-year old child? Did you child tell you this? Why didn't you call the police?

  4. #4
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    Jul 2013
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    Default Re: Filing a Case Before an Ex Parte

    Quote Quoting EA1070a
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    Were you and dad married when she was born? If not, has he been established as her legal father through the court?
    We were not married, He is on the birth certificate. Nothing has been done through court.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I didn't call the cops b/c I didn't know what to do in the situation except make sure she's not near that situation anymore. Which is why I'm on this path.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Should I still call them even though I let 2 weeks pass? I guess I will call today. I'm not good with the law, so I was confused and stupid I guess

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting EA1070a
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    Were you and dad married when she was born? If not, has he been established as her legal father through the court?
    So Do I need to put the custody I want just yet? or just establish him as the legal father first? then file the ex parte?

  5. #5
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    Oct 2006
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    16,441

    Default Re: Filing a Case Before an Ex Parte

    Quote Quoting nclifton
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    We were not married, He is on the birth certificate. Nothing has been done through court.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I didn't call the cops b/c I didn't know what to do in the situation except make sure she's not near that situation anymore. Which is why I'm on this path.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Should I still call them even though I let 2 weeks pass? I guess I will call today. I'm not good with the law, so I was confused and stupid I guess

    - - - Updated - - -



    So Do I need to put the custody I want just yet? or just establish him as the legal father first? then file the ex parte?
    If you were never married to dad, you don't actually have to do anything at all. You are the only parent with any custody rights until a judge says otherwise. Therefore you could simply sit back and wait until dad files to establish visitation/custody rights. You certainly do not need to file an ex-parte. You can file to establish formal, legal custody yourself, but you really are in control at this point.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Filing a Case Before an Ex Parte

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    If you were never married to dad, you don't actually have to do anything at all. You are the only parent with any custody rights until a judge says otherwise. Therefore you could simply sit back and wait until dad files to establish visitation/custody rights. You certainly do not need to file an ex-parte. You can file to establish formal, legal custody yourself, but you really are in control at this point.
    This. Make dad pursue visitation rights.

    Has a support order even been issued?

  7. #7
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    Sep 2005
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    California
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    Default Re: How to File for Custody and an Ex Parte Order to Stop Visitation

    Quote Quoting nclifton
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    Recently My 6 year old Child was with her dad for the weekend and was left under the care of her 12 year old step sister who took her to other homes in a Mobile Home park, During the travels in the park My daughter was not supervised by an adult. She was involved in a game of Truth or dare with Teenage kids and was kissed by a 16 year old.
    When you say, "kissed," what do you mean? How did the child describe it? How did anyone else describe it?

    This is not ok. The risk of a 6 yr old not under age approiate supervision is not okay with me. The kissing a teenager is not ok, and the trust of her walking through a mobile home park by herself is not ok. When I asked her father about it, he ignored me for 5 days. My daughter has not gone back since(its been two weeks) and at this point I want to go to court.
    Are you in violation of the custody order? If so, you can possibly face criminal charges for failing to comply with the court order. At best, you might face penalties for contempt through the Family Court if dad pushes the issue.

    From the sounds of this, there appears to be no court-ordered visitation, is that the case?

    As has been stated, if you are mom and he was not your hubbie at the time of the birth, it might be up to HIM to file for visitation. You can choose to petition for whatever conditions you wish now or when that occurs, but understand that what you want to happen and what the court might require are different things. It's unlikely that the court will mandate that the child be in dad's physical presence every waking moment, but, you can always ask.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting Antigone
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    So a 16-year old kissed your 6-year old child? Did you child tell you this? Why didn't you call the police?
    Because it wouldn't be a crime.

    It might be twisted and noteworthy, but not likely criminal. It might also have been a group of teenagers screwing around and gave the child a peck on the cheek instead of some full on kiss. We don't know.

    But, a kiss is not going to be criminal.
    **********
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How to File for Custody and an Ex Parte Order to Stop Visitation

    The Kiss my child says was on the Lips. Her dad claimed it was the cheek. When I asked my daughter if it was on the cheek she said no, it was lips.

    Later her dad said "Fine they were making out, Are you happy now? Don't get your panties in a twist" via text msg.

    So I've had her ever since and didn't prusue the court thing. However on monday night He served me with court paperwork for Custody and Child Support(LOL, I've BEEN supporting her non-stop!) He is requesting70% of time and put me for 30% - even though I have had 80% and he's had 20% for the last 4 years.

    Here's my newest concern, moments before My daughters dads girlfriend served me, she told me that her sister will be working at the afterschool program that I got my child into. This scares me. As of right now she hasn't been back to her dads since her day of being unsupervised and when the kiss happened. I'm now worried he could go and pick her up one day from the program easily and then he could hold her from me.

    Should I do an Exparte now to avoid this? I am worried cause I believe in California that either parent can take the child and if theres no solid custody order the child can't be forced to go to one or the other parent.

    Her dad and his girlfriend Physically Fight and Throw and break things, My child is neglected there. She's not kept safe. She's not properly fed. They don't allow the children Milk b/c they can't afford it. Also in the past 4 years when she gets sick as his house i have to come get her and take her to the doctor as he can't afford the co-pay. She broke her arm there and I had to come get her and take her to get it casted. He just doesn't care for her the way a parent should be and it scares me that he could take her from me and My hands could potentially be tied and she could be subjected to a bad environment. Help... I'm so scared.

  9. #9
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    Inland Empire
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    Default Re: How to File for Custody and an Ex Parte Order to Stop Visitation

    Quote Quoting nclifton
    View Post
    The Kiss my child says was on the Lips. Her dad claimed it was the cheek. When I asked my daughter if it was on the cheek she said no, it was lips.

    Later her dad said "Fine they were making out, Are you happy now? Don't get your panties in a twist" via text msg.

    So I've had her ever since and didn't prusue the court thing. However on monday night He served me with court paperwork for Custody and Child Support(LOL, I've BEEN supporting her non-stop!) He is requesting70% of time and put me for 30% - even though I have had 80% and he's had 20% for the last 4 years.

    Here's my newest concern, moments before My daughters dads girlfriend served me, she told me that her sister will be working at the afterschool program that I got my child into. This scares me. As of right now she hasn't been back to her dads since her day of being unsupervised and when the kiss happened. I'm now worried he could go and pick her up one day from the program easily and then he could hold her from me.

    Should I do an Exparte now to avoid this? I am worried cause I believe in California that either parent can take the child and if theres no solid custody order the child can't be forced to go to one or the other parent.

    Her dad and his girlfriend Physically Fight and Throw and break things, My child is neglected there. She's not kept safe. She's not properly fed. They don't allow the children Milk b/c they can't afford it. Also in the past 4 years when she gets sick as his house i have to come get her and take her to the doctor as he can't afford the co-pay. She broke her arm there and I had to come get her and take her to get it casted. He just doesn't care for her the way a parent should be and it scares me that he could take her from me and My hands could potentially be tied and she could be subjected to a bad environment. Help... I'm so scared.
    I suggest you retain an attorney to help you through this matter.

    And for the record, if a 16-year old ever touched my daughter in the way he touched yours. I'd have been at the police department in a heart beat. And now that you have that text, I'm shocked you still haven't done anything about it. If no crime was commited then let the police decide that.

    A young man of that age has not business touching a little girl in the way he did.

  10. #10
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    Jul 2013
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    Default Re: How to File for Custody and an Ex Parte Order to Stop Visitation

    It was a 16 year old girl.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I agree that it was wrong... I have removed the child from the situation. She has been with me 100% since. My worry is the Girlfriends sister working at the afterschool care program and allowing my child to leave with her dad. I need help with the Ex-parte.

    Yes i should go to the cops, and I'm dumb for not going. But now I just need to secure the ex-parte. I've done everything up to this point to ensure my child is not subjected to this kind of thing again. Now I just need help to ensure the futrure is also secured.

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