Can My Boys' Dad Be Granted Full Custody

[christym27]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

Hi, I need some advice my boys father and I are going to be going to court for custody of our 2 boys and I would just like to know if there is any chance he could win and get full custody??, I have my own place but am not currently working but am looking for work, there has been arguments between us where I've threatened not to let him see our boys because of him not helping me very much with them and I also was arrested for domestic violence about 4 years ago against their father ( first and only offense ever ) other then that I have always been there for my children and have had them primarily...our youngest son is 1 yr and 3 months and barely started going with him when he was about 11 months old and our 4 yr old goes with him one week and me one week and we switch have been doing that for about a year but before that he was with me most of the time....I don't do drugs I don't beat my kids I don't go out everynight or anything like that but because of the domestic violence I'm worried they might take my boys from me and give him full costody...Will that happen?? Any advice would be appreciated thank you.

[Disagreeable]

It sounds like a crap shoot. It could go anyway.

[Dogmatique]

The court will look at best interests, for one thing.

The fact that you've used the children as pawns won't be in your favor.

[llworking]

The court will look at best interests, for one thing.

The fact that you've used the children as pawns won't be in your favor.

While I don't disagree, I think that she has only made threats, not actually acted upon those threats and that is fairly typical amongst parents who are no longer together. I suggest that she stop doing that now.

A four year old domestic violence charge probably won't matter.

[christym27]

While I know it may seem as if I was using our children I can tell you that wasn't my intention at all, I do understand that it looks that way and I know that I can't be doing that anymore and I haven't for awhile but they were just threats I NEVER actually kept the kids from him and my reasoning was because I felt that it wasn't fair for him to just get them whenever he felt like it if he wasn't going to help me financially with them....we had a written agreement which I know won't hold up in court because we never got it notorized or anything like that. He wasn't even there when our youngest was born and didn't even ask to see him until he was 11 months old and the only reason why he started taking him is because of child support and him not wanting to pay it, I just don't understand how my threats are far worse then anything he's done "/

[wv123]

...He wasn't even there when our youngest was born and didn't even ask to see him until he was 11 months old...
Maybe he was afraid of domestic violence?
Maybe he didn't ask to see because he figured you would say "it wasn't fair for him to just get them whenever he felt like it".
The most doting father could miss a childbirth due to exigent circumstances.
And he was interested within the first year, asking to see the child at 11 months.
It seems like he made a reasonable effort to be involved, and you put up some resistance to that and prevented his involvement.

[christym27]

...He wasn't even there when our youngest was born and didn't even ask to see him until he was 11 months old...
Maybe he was afraid of domestic violence?
Maybe he didn't ask to see because he figured you would say "it wasn't fair for him to just get them whenever he felt like it".
The most doting father could miss a childbirth due to exigent circumstances.
And he was interested within the first year, asking to see the child at 11 months.
It seems like he made a reasonable effort to be involved, and you put up some resistance to that and prevented his involvement.

First off how on earth would domestic violence be the reason he didn't show that doesn't make any sense given the fact that the dv was when our oldest was 1 and we still tried working things out afterwards and had another child which is our 15 month old. Second I ASKED him to take me to the hospital when I was going to have our youngest and he didn't because of his gf who he left me for when i found out I was pregnant with our youngest and who also ended up pregnant when I was 6 months pregnant and sure enough he was there for their babys birth and everything....Third the only reason he actually started taking our youngest was not only because of child support but because he would get our oldest and not see our youngest and I told him if he had to be a part of BOTH of their lives not just one or neither of them because it wasn't right to me or them that he takes one and not the other. If he would've asked to see the baby or take him when he was younger I wouldn't have denied that to him, the fact is he never even tried.