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  1. #1
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    Thumbs down Charged With Domestic Violence for Threats Made While Drunk

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Colorado
    so about two months ago i found out my girl friend of 6 months was cheating on me. I didnt want to believe it because i loved her so much. one of my friends told me to get checked so i did. she ended up giving me a std, most likely from the guy she was cheating on me with. when i found this information out i became very depressed and started using drugs and alcohol as a escape. one night when very drunk and mad about the situation i texted her (we had already broken up) and told her that i was going to kill her. my threats did include me saying i had a gun and bullets. i know this was a very foolish mistake and it was a empty threat, i never got in my car and went to her house, i dont own weapons and i really had no intent on hurting her. she called the cops and i got arrested for domestic violence and harassment. There is proof that she was not afraid, such as her texting back things like "u are not shit" u are worthless and a druggy" ect. showing that genuinely she was not afraid, and i can tell you she knew i wasnt serous. i am a 18 year old male about to turn 19. i hired a lawyer and trail is set for November. i know what i did was wrong, im not saying it wasnt. i would just hate for a drunk mistake to follow me my whole life and even include some jail time. any one have advice, its been two months since this all happen and im still very distraught about every thing. my mom had to sell her wedding ring to get me out of jail and court bills are putting my family deep in debt. thanks for your time -jake

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    Please explain how her texting you proves she wasn't afraid.

    (If anything it could be taken as absolute evidence that she WAS afraid)

    Are you in anger management yet?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    well if you are afraid your not going to evoke the person and try to make them more mad. and i see a therapist

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    Jake, please - a terrified person will often react offensively as a form of defense.

    That argument will completely sink you in court - don't even THINK of bringing it up.

    Listen to your attorney.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    my attorney thinks the fact that she was cheating on me and gave me a std enough to get me out of it. but i dont know i dont think a jury will take me side

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    Uh...okay, prove that SHE gave YOU an std. Cheating on you does NOT give you the right to threaten her life.

    I'd be thinking of a different attorney, perhaps.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    i know what i did was wrong. it was over a text tho not like i was screaming it in her face. im not saying what i did wasnt wrong. i feel horrible about it and ive lost that person that i loved so much forever.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    Jake, it doesn't matter what she did.

    Bringing up an STD (which you likely cannot prove you "got" from her anyway) isn't likely to help - if anything if I were on the jury it would antagonize the heck out of me.

    And I'm just a regular person with no agenda either way.

    However, if that's what your attorney is advising we really can't second guess your attorney.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    Quote Quoting Jakef1
    View Post
    my attorney thinks the fact that she was cheating on me and gave me a std enough to get me out of it. but i dont know i dont think a jury will take me side
    I'm sorry to tell you this, Jakef1, but your attorney is an idiot.


    you need to start making arrangements for people to store your stuff while you are in jail and safe some money for the commissary. I don't know any states where perpetrators explicit death threats are let off with a slap on the wrist

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Domestic Violence Charges: Need Advice

    Quote Quoting Jakef1
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    she ended up giving me a std, most likely from the guy she was cheating on me with.
    If that's the entire allegation, I would expect the court to rule the allegation inadmissible - you don't know whether you picked up the STD before or after the 'cheating', and for that matter perhaps it was you who gave the STD to her. Perhaps your lawyer is hoping that you can blurt out a statement before the judge rules on an objection?
    Quote Quoting Jakef1
    when i found this information out i became very depressed and started using drugs and alcohol as a escape.
    Nonsense. You need to take responsibility for your choices.
    Quote Quoting Jakef1
    There is proof that she was not afraid, such as her texting back things like "u are not shit" u are worthless and a druggy" ect. showing that genuinely she was not afraid, and i can tell you she knew i wasnt serous.
    As you've been told, that's not evidence that she was not afraid of you. Note also, for a harassment charge under CRS 18-9-111, the crime occurs if the defendant makes the threat "with intent to harass, annoy, or alarm another person". The victim's perception of the threat does not change the defendant's intent in making the threat.

    Similarly, CRS 18-6-900.3 defines "domestic violence" as "an act or threatened act of violence upon a person with whom the actor is or has been involved in an intimate relationship." That statute does not appear to ponder your intention at all - the language suggests that the measure would be whether a reasonable person would interpret your statements as a threat.
    Quote Quoting Jakef1
    my mom had to sell her wedding ring to get me out of jail and court bills are putting my family deep in debt.
    I suggest that you get a job and apply your earnings to your legal bills.
    Quote Quoting Jakef1
    View Post
    my attorney thinks the fact that she was cheating on me and gave me a std enough to get me out of it.
    You will note that "I was provoked" or "I was angry" is not a defense to either a domestic violence or a harassment charge. If your lawyer is hoping to smear the victim to the point that the jury doesn't care that you committed a crime and somehow gets all of your allegations before the jury, I can't rule out the possibility that the jury might conclude "she deserved it" and decide not to convict you despite the facts; but if the prosecutor or judge sees that coming, I expect that they'll try to shut it down.

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