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  1. #1

    Default Accused by an Ex-Girlfriend of Taking Her Money

    My question involves a relationship in the state of: Ohio


    Two years ago I was jobless for months. My at the time significant other of 4+ years was footing the bills, inclusive of a couch and bed we owned. The apartment was in her name with me as a roommate. The landlord wouldn't let the place be in my name due to only being on the job for a few months at the time. My ex decided she no longer wished to pursue the relationship. She asked me to leave. I packed up my clothes and moved out at her request. She kept everything we had bought, owned, or were still paying on - while I was left without a home, scrambling to pay monthly bills, and a brand new job I had just started. We still owed money on a credit card for Ashley Furniture, for a bed and couch, with both of our names on it. She kept these items as well as everything else we had built together. This was in October 2011. We had discussed our two cats, and that I was the better candidate for parenting them over the course of a month - on three separate occasions. I took the cats with me, civilly, after she handed them to me and said to go. I left and never looked back.

    During the course of our relationship, I had been jobless twice. During these times when I ran out of money, she would foot the bills. She claims it was a total of 23 months (this is a bit steep, as it was only about 9-11 months total, but it is what she is claiming.) She paid our rent, internet, energy, and food. A few months she helped me pay for my car payments as well. She also has paid for our couch and bed 100%. I had talked about how when I got my first few checks in, and such, that I would foot our bills so that we could recoup her savings and such, as a couple. A few weeks later, she decided she wanted to end the relationship.

    We haven't spoken since she left, and she had moved on, has been in another relationship for a year, and as far as I had gathered, moved out of state with her new guy. On the way out, a year ago, I paid off our cable, energy, and phone bills as a peace offering. Then, she was gone and out of my life.

    In November of 2012, she sent me a message which read, "Do you not intend to repay me? It's been over a year now. I need to know." Following this was a myriad of calls (At one point, 17 calls in 3 hours) for about 3 weeks. I did not respond or answer any of them. It had been over a year since we had spoken, and I was moving forward with my life finally. She started saying that I stole her cats from her, and that I needed to make good on the money I owed her that we discussed.

    Then, she stopped and I didn't hear from her again until yesterday. (I believe she has randomly called from multiple unlisted numbers a few times a week for the last few months, but I don't answer and there is never a message left.) She's playing the same tune, now, and adding legality and possibly taking me to court. Again, I haven't responded or answered any calls.

    My question: Should I be worried about anything legally? I have not replied to her, yet. I'm not sure where she is coming from as we never discussed any kind of repayment, and nothing is in writing (that I know of, except for potentially an email from 2009 when I thought she was leaving me - which simply read that I agreed with her and would pay her back and be out of her life. This never occurred, nor was ever mentioned for the next 2 years at all, and wasn't part of our last spat when she decided to leave me). When she ended the relationship, and kept everything we owned, I expressed to her that I was not going to pay for her to live comfortably if we were through. I told her that if she was cutting her losses that she would take a financial hit - meaning, I wasn't going to be there to help with rent, utilities, and the like anymore. When I mentioned the possibility of splitting our items, and me paying for either the couch or the bed, she refused. She stated that she shouldn't have to change her life at all. I informed her that if we weren't going to be a couple, that I wasn't going to be paying any of her bills, or for a place that I was no longer living in, or to help her since I would now be homeless and have to fend for myself.

    She is now saying once again that I stole her cats from her, that I owe her for all of the money that I "drained" from her, saying she will come to Ohio and hunt me down, and that she has an email from me agreeing to pay her back. I'm not certain what this email is, and have no email in my sent box stating anything of the sort outside of the one from 2009 during my first days of unemployment. She is now threatening legal action if I don't respond to her.

    No formal written agreement was ever made, I didn't send her any checks after she left me or anything of the sort. She's had possession of all items that she and I had built together. I realize the co-mingled credit I can be held accountable for by a creditor. Does she have any other claims or grounds here, or is she just blowing smoke?

    Sorry if this was long winded, I was trying to provide as much detail as possible, and I Appreciate any information that can be provided!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011

    Default Re: Accused by an Ex-Girlfriend of Taking Her Money

    Advise her not to bother you and tell her if she feels she has proof of some kind of contract, to sue you and let the court decide.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Louisville, KY

    Default Re: Accused by an Ex-Girlfriend of Taking Her Money

    Keep any and all messages received from her but do not reply. If she takes you to court, she can try to prove her case there. DO NOT REPLY! *g*

  4. #4

    Default Re: Accused by an Ex-Girlfriend of Taking Her Money

    I had kept the first few text messages she sent back in November 2011, and I have the 2 emails she sent yesterday. I had since deleted the other phone messages back in 2011. I will keep any that I find. She has actually started sending messages to my close friends via Facebook asking them to relay her messages to me. I guess my worry is, if she does indeed take this to court, is it proof enough that she has her bank records stating when she paid for whatever? I'm not trying to say she didn't help me out when I was down, because that's what you do in a relationship - I did it for her when I could, and would have been 100% behind letting her take it easy for a while if we were still a couple.

    I appreciate the response, either way!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Louisville, KY

    Default Re: Accused by an Ex-Girlfriend of Taking Her Money

    That's up to a judge, but she's (probably) going to have to prove there was an agreement to pay her back. This is (I'm assuming) small claims, so she doesn't have much burden of proof. I'd still guess you've got the winning end of this, but anything could happen. Ask your friends to save any and all communication she has regarding this, and bring them into court with you. If she EVER takes you...which I doubt.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    So Cal

    Default Re: Accused by an Ex-Girlfriend of Taking Her Money

    Small claims may be more informal, but she still has the burden of proof (clear & convincing evidence - in other words, more likely than not).

    You lived as a couple without benefit of marriage and most courts aren't too eager to deal with separating out the pots and pans of an unmarked couple's life.

    Do not respond. Keep all communications. Start collecting proof that you continued to pay joint debts after the final breakup. Do the same with any furniture you bought as a couple. Obtain your employment records as well.

    Also, just because there wasn't a formal written contract doesn't mean that a contract didn't exist, but it's more difficult to prove. An email sent over four years ago in the midst of a breakup that resulted in a reconciliation isn't going to hold much water with the Court.

    It's impossible to predict how a judge will rule, but it doesn't sound as if she has much to go on here. Sounds like she needs money. Keep in mind, if she decides to sue in Small Claims Court she'll have to file in Ohio in your county of residence.

    - - - Updated - - -

    D'oh. I was posting too late at night. It isn't clear & convincing. It's preponderance of the evidence. Still means more likely than not.

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