My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Utah, California & Arizona


My ex-wife and I divorced in 2003 in Arizona. She received sole custody. Just to save time, no, there was no history of abuse, drugs, violence, criminal activity, etc., on my part. I had my own apartment, she was living on someone's couch. I had a job and a college degree, she did not. Etc., etc., etc.

I relocated to California in 2005, after giving proper notice as required in the custody order. I remarried in 2006. My (new) wife and I traveled to Arizona several times to visit my son in 2005/2006.

My ex-wife moved (with my son) to Utah in late 2006 or early 2007, with no notice provided. It took several months before I found out where they were, and that was only because she contacted my parents. During this time, my child support payments continued to be collected by the state of Arizona.

My parents get far more time & contact with my son than I do. She knows that no matter what, I'll keep having money deducted, but she has to stay on my parents' good side if she wants them to give her money.

Since she moved to Utah, there has been extremely limited opportunity for contact with my son. Her phone is constantly shut off and her address changes frequently. My only reliable & predictable contact with my son is when he visits my parents or vice-versa. I have seen him 3 times since they moved to Utah: once in 2010 for a couple days, at this past Christmas when she let him visit me in California, and last week at my parents' home in a different state. On all occasions, she's let him go with one or both of my parents, and my presence has been (for her) a tolerated evil. My son and I have, in spite of it, maintained as good a relationship as possible. We enjoy spending time together, etc.

I have recently become aware - just in the past few days - that my ex-wife was convicted of a felony in 2011. I don't have too many details on this yet - I'm waiting for the records to make their way to me now - but from what I can tell she was either convicted or pled guilty to theft, and her boyfriend was convicted of felon in possession of a firearm. (He's a convicted drug dealer, it looks like.) I'm told that the items stolen were firearms. This year, she was apparently sent in for a parole or probation violation - not sure which yet - and spent 60 days behind bars. During this time she put my son with her mother, who was herself homeless and living on someone else's couch. At the present time, she appears to be in some sort of residential program. I'm not sure whether it's a halfway house of some sort, a mental health facility, or a substance abuse rehab. Nobody seems to know, or if they do, they won't tell me.

There's other issues with his development, particularly in terms of education. He changed schools 3 times last year, that I know of. His handwriting, spelling, etc., is on par with mine when I was 6 years old. His math is even worse. He's not unintelligent, he's just almost completely uneducated.

I want to take custody away from his mother, and have him live with me. This leads to the questions.

1. Which state do I need to go through? I've had one attorney tell me to go to Arizona, since they had original jurisdiction and I haven't been notified that the case was transferred to California. He says to ask for an emergency order, since the mother is not able to discharge her parental responsibilities while in whatever program this is. I've had another attorney tell me I need to get the case transferred to Utah, and that I should wait until that's done before proceeding any further. He also said that there's no need for an emergency order, because any harm likely to come to the child has already been done.

2. Would the fact pattern presented above be likely to convince a judge to give me custody?

3. How much input will my son have in the matter? He has developed an odd codependent relationship with his mom. He believes that he's protecting her, and will hardly tell me anything about what's going on. He knew that she'd been in jail, but wouldn't talk about it until I told him I already knew about it, and then tried to say it was just for parking tickets. He thinks that losing him would hurt her more than his continuing to live there will hurt him, so for her sake he wants to just suck it up.

4. Any other suggestions / thoughts / issues you can see?


Thanks for your time and input!