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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    1

    Default Post-Divorce Issues

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Tennessee

    I am currently married and my husband's ex-wife has been causing some issues for us. Her new boyfriend, who she has moved her and her 13 yo son in with, has blocked all communication between her and her ex-husband. We share custody 50/50 right now. 1 week on 1 week off. When it comes to matters regarding the son, we have to go through the son's phone, or the ex-wife's boyfriend to communicate, which is in my opinion completely inappropriate. The son is unhappy living at the boyfriend's house as he stays there with 4 other children and his personal items come up missing or broken, and the mother does nothing to fix the problem. He has also voiced to her that he does not like her boyfriend and the way he treats him, and he does not like living there, but she ignores him. The son wants to increase his time with us to more like 75/25, but doesn't want to have to be the 'bad guy' and have to tell her himself (and I don't think he should have to, that's a lot for a 13 yo.) Any suggestions on a way we could go about it so that he could be kept out of the middle without her making him feel guilty about not wanting to be there as often?
    Also, another issue we are having is in regards to a vehicle that was titled in both names. My husband is listed first as he was primary, and she was listed second as she was co-signer (listed as 'or' on the title and registration.) In the divorce decree she was granted use of the car to go back and forth to school and to transport their son as needed. My husband makes payment on the vehicle, covers her under insurance and reimburses her for maintenance on that vehicle. All of this is listed in the divorce papers, and is valid until May 2014, or until she graduates college or remarries. Firstly she is living with her boyfriend and the son had mentioned that they said they plan to wed, but are purposefully waiting until the spring do they don't lose the car. Secondly, we see the boyfriend driving the car all over town in the vehicle with and without the mother, thirdly, the car has had 15,000 miles put on it in the past year due to them taking it on family vacations and using it as the primary vehicle because the boyfriend doesn't want to put the miles on his personal vehicle. Fourthly, when picking up the son on Sunday, my husband looked over the car and noticed multiple areas of damage on the body of the vehicle. And upon further inspection, the 2 front tires were completely bald, with the metal showing through on the inner side. Worn down past the belt. The breaks were completely gone as well. And she has only changed the oil once since the divorce. He tried to contact her by knocking in the front door and she opened it and saw it was him and slammed it in his face. (She was already upset as we 'messed up her plans' for father's day by getting the son early, even though he was supposed to spend father's day with his father, go figure.) We tried contacting the boyfriend as well with no success. At that point we made the decisions to take the vehicle to look at getting the tires replaced and new brakes put on as it was not safe to drive. Where he is liable for the vehicle (carries insurance, makes payment, is responsible for reimbursement of maintenance upon submit of the receipt from ex-wife.) We were worried at that point that they could possibly come back on us and sue for damages if there were an accident due to her negligence in care and maintenance of the vehicle. Plus we didn't want the son riding in the vehicle. We notified her via text that we were taking the vehicle for maintenance, her and her boyfriend called the police to report the vehicle stolen. We spoke with the officer and he decided not to pursue charges as the reasons for taking the vehicle were warranted and my husband is still primary owner of the vehicle. They are now threatening court, which is really what needs to happen anyways, trying to charge for theft of a vehicle because we didn't return it to her within 2 HOURS. She said it shouldn't take any more than 2 hours for tires and brakes to be put on the car. (We went to Walmart right after taking it, they were out of stock of that particular tire, secondly, we do not have funds saved up to make such emergency repairs on the vehicle, if it were taken care of the timeliness wouldn't have been an issue...Now she is making threats and accusations and talking badly about both my husband and myself to others as well as the son. She is accusing my husband of past abuse, excessive alcohol use, and said she will put their son on the stand to testify against him, even though the son has openly said he never saw or heard anything that she is referencing. At this point what so we do? We will certainly go back to court, but what do we do int he mean time? I am worried they are just going to show up on our property when the son is at home during the day and try and get the vehicle, or worse try to come in the house without one of us there, it's almost to the point of defamation of character, and we are trying to go about things the right way, but there is always that time in between...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Post-Divorce Issues

    If your husband believes there are grounds to modify custody, he can bring a motion to modify custody. He should consult a family lawyer with the full facts.

    If your husband agreed to the arrangement with the car "until she graduates college or remarries" and his ex has not "until she graduate[d] college or remarrie[d]", then the arrangement continues as agreed. I'm not sure why you believe your husband would have any right to take possession of the vehicle if the judgment grants his ex- exclusive possession.

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