Am I Able to Sue if Charges Can't Be Filed

[iamblessed]

Where to even start with this? As a parent, all we want to be able to do is protect our children! But who would have EVER thought the ones we needed to protect them from was the ones you thought you could trust most with your child, even more than you trusted yourself!

My daughter is 13 now. When she was 11, I found out that her Grandmother did some “inappropriate” things with her. I will go into a little more detail here. Grandma would pay my daughter to take showers with her. I had my daughter write out EVERYTHING that happened for the prosecutors. While she was writing it, she said Mom, I feel like a prostitute. While they were in the shower, my daughter had to allow her grandmother to wash my daughters body with just her hand. Yes, she washed my daughter all over. And Grandma NEVER did this when Grandpa was in town (Grandpa is an over the road truck driver). If my daughter didn’t want to take a shower with Grandma on the days Grandma wanted to, Grandma would get mad at my daughter. So my daughter would give in. After showers, Grandma would have my daughter go to Grandma’s underwear drawer and have my daughter pick out what underwear and bra she wanted her Grandma to wear that day. Grandma is MORE then capable to do this herself. Grandma is in her early 50's and is VERY active. Hell, she is a nurse! And she would have to help Grandma put it on. Grandma refused to let my daughter sleep in her own bed. She would make my daughter sleep with her. Grandma taught my daughter how to play texas hold em. Once a week, Grandma and my 11 year old daughter would play it. Grandma and her would be drinking alcohol. My daughter would have her own bottle of beer, and Grandma would have hers. The bets were, if Grandma wins, my daughter was to take a bubble bath with her. If my daughter won, she got to go outside and play with her friends. My daughter won a couple of times and Grandma would back track and say that my daughter couldn’t go outside because the other kids would smell the alcohol on her breath.

I finally became aware of all this two summers ago when a little birdie called me and said that they walked into Grandma’s house and found my daughter and grandma in the shower together. I questioned my daughter about when she came home from her summer trip. See Grandma lives several hours away from us. So my daughter would visit her all summer, spring break and Christmas breaks. My daughter shut down on me when I asked her. At one point she made the comment, Grandma says what happens up there, stays up there and it is our little secrets. I knew then something was up. My daughter has been in the hospital three times in the pass 7 months for suicidal thoughts and one attempt. She is now diagnosis PTSD with Bipolar Disorder and now is a “cutter.” The first time she was in the hospital is when it all came out. She says that she can’t deal with the pain and the fact that Grandma is getting away with all this. It has been brought infront of the authorities. They say if it was a male doing this, charges could be filed. Yes, this is inappropriate behavior, but no charges can be made. I NEED her to pay for something. I am a mother, I accepted that role. And I live up to it the best that I can. NEVER in my life did I think I would have to protect my daughter from her own grandmother. Since the authorities won’t press charges, am I able to sue for pain and suffering? Its not the money I really want! I want her to realize what she did was wrong! And she has to pay for it someway or the other! This is not the first time Grandma has been questioned on sexual abuse! She has been questioned about it with two other grandchildren! And to top this all off, I found out that my daughters uncle (Grandmas son) did sexually abuse my daughter twice when Grandma would leave her alone with him. This family is SICK. Uncle is getting charged. That is in progress right now as we speak!

I just need the Grandma to be brought to justice! It is wrong all she did. They say that it does not sound like it was for sexual satisfaction. If you ask me, it was. She never did it when her Grandpa was there, and she paid my daughter to do this! Any advice!

[Disagreeable]

Soliciting a minor or corruption of a minor come to mind. We really need to know grandma's state.

[aardvarc]

We can't begin to give commentary on the criminal aspect until we know which state's statutes apply. In some states, the criminal statutes require an aspect of sexual gratification in order to bring a criminal charge, in others, certain acts in an of themselves are enough, even without a sexual gratification element.

On the civil suit side, yes, it's certainly possible to sue for just about anything. However, before you even BEGIN to consider this, your child needs to be in counseling, and ANY discussion of bringing such a suit needs to be discussed with a qualified sexual abuse therapist who has had adequate time to work with her and assess how such a case may further impact the victim. Realize that bringing a civil suit likely means putting your 13 year old on the stand in an open courtroom full of strangers and grandma staring at her and having to describe the events ... in detail, then be grilled about it by a defense attorney. Your child is already having major issues, you need to be concerned FIRST about her emotional health, and less about vengence against grandma. If your daughter can tolerate AND benefit from such a suit, as blessed by a professional, then it's time to consult with personal injury attorneys regarding taking necessary steps. But if the bringing of such a suit has more tendency to further stress and additionally victimize your daughter, then your best bet may be to concentrate on getting her support and resources, and taking comfort in knowing that they'll keep hell hot for those deserving.

I just need the Grandma to be brought to justice!

It should be about what the CHILD needs...even at the expense of your OWN needs.

[iamblessed]

My daughter has been in extensive therapy for the past year and a half. She sees her case manager and therapist once a week. My daughter tells them that her ONLY closure to all of this is her sitting on the stand and looking them straight in the eye and see the hurt, pain and trust issues her grandmother has caused her and for her Grandmother to pay for what has happened to her. My daughter says that if Grandma does not get in trouble in any way, who is there to protect her cousins (Grandma's other granddaughters). She thinks that if Grandma does not pay then nobody believes her and that this is ok to do this to children. So everything that I am doing is for my daughter. I am just trying to get her the closure that she needs!

- - - Updated - - -

Ohio and this is in Ohio.....

[cbg]

You still haven't told us in what state this happened; therefore we are unable to refer you to the applicable state laws.

Your edit not there when I posted.

[iamblessed]

You still haven't told us in what state this happened; therefore we are unable to refer you to the applicable state laws.

Your edit not there when I posted.

It is in Ohio....

[Disagreeable]

ORC 2907.03 Sexual battery
ORC 2907.05 Gross sexual imposition
ORC 2907.06 sexual imposition
ORC 2907.09 public indecency
ORC 2907.21 Compelling Prostitution

All come to mind for discussion with the prosecutor.