Can I Keep Custody of My Fiancée's Child While She's in Jail, Against Father's Wishes

[FatherWhoWon]

You seem quite stuck on dad owes money. That is at the bottom of the checklist, really. If all you have is a notorized, almost worthless piece of paper, dad can come at any moment and take his kid. The child is his, not yours. Sorry.

A judge is not going to sign your piece of paper.

[nblank]

You have no standing to even sue for custody at this point.

An arrest 2 years ago won't matter - SPECIALLY since Mom is currently in jail right now. Child support is viewed as separate from custody and visitation.

Thanks......does he have to establish anything in order to be able to take him away or can he literally just show up and take him? I'm not looking to limit his contact with his son but also want to be able to see him, take him to his mother on visits, and maintain his life here as he will end up here when his mom is released from jail.

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You seem quite stuck on dad owes money. That is at the bottom of the checklist, really. If all you have is a notorized, almost worthless piece of paper, dad can come at any moment and take his kid. The child is his, not yours. Sorry.

A judge is not going to sign your piece of paper.

yes, i'm not really stuck on that it is just something i had been told. I am uninformed on these types of matters and never expected to have to be but it is what it is. Thanks

[Dogmatique]

Actually, there's no guarantee that he'll end up with Mom.

[FatherWhoWon]

If all you have is a notorized, almost worthless piece of paper, dad can come at any moment and take his kid. The child is his, not yours. Sorry.

Please reread the above to answer your question. If dad does as above, he is under no obligation at all to allow you any interaction with the child. I would try to be cordial to dad if I were you.

[nblank]

thanks guys, got all the upsetting information i figured was coming.

[llworking]

Thanks......does he have to establish anything in order to be able to take him away or can he literally just show up and take him? I'm not looking to limit his contact with his son but also want to be able to see him, take him to his mother on visits, and maintain his life here as he will end up here when his mom is released from jail.

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yes, i'm not really stuck on that it is just something i had been told. I am uninformed on these types of matters and never expected to have to be but it is what it is. Thanks

I don't necessarily agree that dad can just come and take him. Dad currently has no custodial rights and mom did grant (although not legally) temporary custody to you. The only way that dad could just come and take him is if dad convinced the cops to attempt to force you to release the child, and the cops might very well decline to get involved since dad has no custodial rights. They might consider it a civil matter and tell dad to take it to court.

However, if dad files for custody, particularly on an emergency basis, its nearly guaranteed that you would be required to turn the child over to dad. If dad doesn't file on an emergency basis there is a very slight chance you could delay things until mom gets out...but its pretty slight.

[nblank]

I don't necessarily agree that dad can just come and take him. Dad currently has no custodial rights and mom did grant (although not legally) temporary custody to you. The only way that dad could just come and take him is if dad convinced the cops to attempt to force you to release the child, and the cops might very well decline to get involved since dad has no custodial rights. They might consider it a civil matter and tell dad to take it to court.

However, if dad files for custody, particularly on an emergency basis, its nearly guaranteed that you would be required to turn the child over to dad. If dad doesn't file on an emergency basis there is a very slight chance you could delay things until mom gets out...but its pretty slight.

What makes this legal then? i mean he is on medicaid/medicare (never sure which it is) under my name (my company insurance wouldn't allow him under mine) and all the paperwork with the state is under my name for DHHS. I assume no, but does any of that make a difference?

[llworking]

What makes this legal then? i mean he is on medicaid/medicare (never sure which it is) under my name (my company insurance wouldn't allow him under mine) and all the paperwork with the state is under my name for DHHS. I assume no, but does any of that make a difference?

No, none of that makes a difference. Its "legal" for you to have the child in your care because mom gave you paperwork that gives you permission to have the child in your care. That made it legal for you to get Medicaid and other services for the child. However, what mom did was kind of like giving you a "permission slip"...it doesn't stand up against the rights of other parties to challenge that "permission slip".

Any of the child's biological relatives (grandparents, aunts, uncles etc) could also have challenged you in court and won.

The only possible exception to that is if your state's version of social services (CPS, DHS, etc) was involved in placing the child with you, but in that case again, normally it would have been signed off on by a judge. Does the child have a social services (not just welfare/Medicaid etc) caseworker? If so, consult that caseworker.

[ksmom]

Wait - I think people are making assumptions without asking some important questions...

How old is this child? Is he school age?
How far away is dad? Would the child have to change schools?
How much contact has he had with dad until now?

[llworking]

Wait - I think people are making assumptions without asking some important questions...

How old is this child? Is he school age?
How far away is dad? Would the child have to change schools?
How much contact has he had with dad until now?

None of those things are necessarily going to matter...they certainly are not the main issues when it comes to a parent vs a complete non-relative.