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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    19,901

    Default Re: Changing My Child's Name

    You're not going to screw around with paternity, actual or apparent, with instant gratification. Your own self -intererst has obvioulsy been not in the interest of the child, so it is doubtful that your going to get relief, short or long term, form the court just to suit yourself. Yes, many states child services are inefficient, understaffed, and underfunder, but that is NOT an excuse for cutting corners with the kid.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Changing My Child's Name

    What I was trying to state was that as humans we are primarily interested in instant gratification and thus most people don't think about the questions dogmatique posed. It was not my intention to sound as if my interest with the paternity test and my son's name were instant gratification.
    What I am failing to understand is your reference to me cutting corners with my child. If that's what you feel I am doing, please explain.
    As far as my self interest (please excuse me if I seem rude that is not my intention), I was young and doing what I thought was right at the time. Looking back i can see my mistakes very clearly. What I am trying to do now is what is right, for my son. The man I am with now, as I have stated before, has done more for my son than his own "daddy". We have been dating for sometime now and we would like for him to be able to adopt my son if/when we are married. We both want to settle down and provide the best life for my son. I am not looking for judgement, excuse me if I am being over over sensitive. I am looking for help. But flyingron, if you can honestly tell me that you did not make mistakes when you were a youngun than you are a better person than I. Again, it is not my intention to be rude and I apologize if I've come across that way .

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    19,901

    Default Re: Changing My Child's Name

    I am a step father. My children (from my wife's first marriage were 3 and 6). There father still existed. There's no way of just making him go away no matter how convenient for my wife or we illusion for the kids. Yes, I paid their support and their college tuition. I did all the dad things with my stepson (mentoring him through school, soap box derby, etc..), took my daughter to get her learner's permit, driver's license, stood beside her in court when she got her traffic ticket (she takes after her mother). That still doesn't give standing to change the kids name or otherwise pretend their father doesn't exist.

    The short cutting was that you were too impatient to report a serious problem to the authorities. Well it's not set up for your convenience. Think about the kid.

    The attitude you are getting here is not going to be any different (and in fact may be kinder) than a judge will have for you in court.

    The simple matter, if the biodad is ok with the change, and you can convince the judge that it's not otherwise contrary to the kid's interest to make the change, it will be approved.
    Your chances of getting the matter changed otherwise is near impossible. The convenience of everybody having the same last name is NOT going to fly as a reason.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Changing My Child's Name

    1. I commend you for being a man and a father. Most males these days do not have the character to do what you have.
    2. I'm failing to understand how you are reaching the conclusion that I haven't reported any of the things I have listed as abuse to the proper authorities. I have, again, and again, and again. The next step I'm am going to take is to go to DSS and speak to their supervisor or call one of the national abuse hotlines.
    3. From the other threads I've been looking at and the responses I've gotten to mine it is to my understanding that leaving my son's name and birth certificate the way they are is about the best if only option. Then a) if "daddy" decides to relinquish rights after at least a year of marriage to my boyfriend fiance whatever, we can try for him to do a step parent adoption. Or b) if "daddy" does what he usually does and become the absentee father, i.e. not paying child support not visiting etc, then I could have his parental rights revoked and again do the step parent adoption. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
    I should prob add that "Daddy" and bio dad are not the same person. And that bio dad has told me he wanted nothing to do with my child.

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