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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    3

    Default 12 Year Old In Trouble for Bullying

    My question involves police conduct in the State of: TN

    My question involves 12 year old girls... Some backstory...
    My daughter was at a friend's birthday party - the girls were all taking pictures. 2 of the girls posed for a picture that made it look like they were kissing (but they weren't - they were just posed to look that way). My daughter had this picture on her phone - a boy at school was using her phone and decided to look through her pictures - he saw this picture of the 2 girls and showed it to 1 other person... the rumors started flying. My daughter says she told the boy that the picture was posed and that one of the girls was standing about 6" forward of the other one so the "kiss" was just an illusion.

    These 2 boys that saw the picture then proceeded to tell everyone at school about the picture - causing that girl a lot of grief.

    My daughter went to this girl and told her what happened as soon as it happened.

    Everything was ok for about a day - then the girl in the picture started telling everyone that my daughter was texting around a picture of her that was posed and saying a lot of horrible things about her and how horrible she is and how much of a liar she is. She says nasty things to my daughter on a daily basis.

    Half of the 6th grade now tells my daughter how much they hate her on a daily basis and they call her names. This has been going on for about a month. My daughter took to social media and told the girl she hated her and called her a few names. This girl's parents called the police. The police came to my house and asked my daughter if she texted the pictures around - she told them no. They asked her if she posted nasty comments to the girl online - she said yes. When they asked her why she said because this girl is accusing her of something she didn't intentionally do and that she's being relentless in telling everyone about it and getting everyone to hate her. The police then told her they were going to obtain all internet and phone records about what she posted online and to see if she really texted the picture to anyone else - they said they would have this information in 2 weeks time. They said that because she posted the nasty comment on the internet it is now a criminal offence. They said that once they can prove she did it (which she already admitted to) they would pursue charges. I would like to reiterate that she did not threaten her in any way, but also what she said online was not nice at all.

    The officers said that girl's parents were also going to pursue this with the school and there was the possibility of her getting expelled.

    I understand that what my daughter did is not acceptable, but how can it be ok for the other girl to be doing the same thing to her? I am being told that because the other girl did not post on the internet that my daughter is the only one at fault. Is verbal abuse ok?

    My daughter swears up and down that she didn't do anything until she posted the nasty comment on the internet. (I tend to believe her because why would she admit to that and not the other??)

    Am I wrong to think this is not bullying, but a typical 12 year old girl spat? Is the girl not accountable for posing for the picture in the first place?

    Should I get a lawyer?

    Is my daughter's life going to be ruined forever because of this thing that happened - she did tell the girl about it right away and it was not intentional.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,647

    Default Re: 12 Year Olds and Bullying

    Am I wrong to think this is not bullying, but a typical 12 year old girl spat? Is the girl not accountable for posing for the picture in the first place?
    our society has gone beyond the age of innocence in a child.

    how is the other girl accountable for the picture issue? Your daughter is the one who published it to others, even if incidentally. I do not see anything wrong with the pic nor would her displaying it typically be an issue either. It was the ensuing communications that could be an issue.
    Should I get a lawyer?

    Is my daughter's life going to be ruined forever because of this thing that happened - she did tell the girl about it right away and it was not intentional.
    without knowing exactly what your daughter said (and no, do not post it), it may or may not be seen as a criminal issue. What you stated does not appear to be a criminal act but as with most things; the devil is in the details.

    I would suggest she refrain from speaking with anybody about this issue, including her mother who could be called as a witness against her should this become a criminal issue. If contacted by the police, your daughter should not speak with them without a lawyer.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: 12 Year Old In Trouble for Bullying

    You can also hire a lawyer to represent her there. She should decline to give a statement at school also. It is legal for her to exercise her right to remain silent in school.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: 12 Year Olds and Bullying

    Thanks for your insight - it has helped to put things into prespective for me - this entire situation is out of control and its a shame that it has escalated to the point it has.
    After doing a little digging I found posts she has made to my daughter and other ones about my daughter that are equal in content to the one my daughter left for her. Other things have also transpired since yesterday as she has told everyone at school that her "goal" is for my daughter to commit suicide. I have an appointment to speak with a lawyer this afternoon.

    Again, thanks for your prior response. I do appreciate it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    6,808

    Default Re: 12 Year Olds and Bullying

    My thought: More parental supervision? Why do kids need cell phones, especially smart phones with cameras? Why is their social media and email not being monitored?

    I would look into a different school district, if possible. Pre-teens and teens are not good at "forgive and forget".

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