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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    Post How to Remove Restraining Order That Parole Put on My Baby's Father

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: California
    A while back me and child's father had some issues and his parole issued a restraining that states that he has to stay away from me. Well two years have passed and we are trying to attend family therapy with him and kids so we can work on getting things fixed to be able to co-parent. I have been going to church for some time and he has started going for sometime to as well. This is stopping us from co-parenting. I really hope someone could give me advise. The only thing stopping him from getting off parole is this as well. He was caught once around me, but we did not even think nothing of it because I droppes the RO order two years ago. We can not even go to our daughter korkore or or cheer leading events without risking him being in trouble. my daughter wants he father there and there is nothing that I can do. this is stopping us from working on our co-parenting skills. We were young and dumb and now that we are older we are seeing where we have messed up I really just want to do what is right it has been two years now and we have been able to get a long with no arguments or violence. I just want what is right for them and for my baby father to be able to stay out of prison it would be silly if we were discuss about our children in person and because he is not able to be around me because of our past he would go back to prison. Time has went by we are mature and ready to seek family counseling to move on and fix our issues for our children.So how do I get parole to remove the restraining order that he is not to be around me. I dropped it in the family law courts about two years ago, but they parole will not drop it... just want a normal life for my family.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,376

    Default Re: How to Remove Restraining Order That Parole Put on My Baby Father

    1. What has he done to improve himself? 2. If you dropped the RO, why are you asking this question? 3. What has changed other than the desire to co-parent? Do you understand the concept of failure to protect your child when it comes to domestics? 4. Before family counseling, individual counseling needs tp be done. What did parole do differently from the court?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: How to Remove Restraining Order That Parole Put on My Baby's Father

    Quote Quoting nmarques1
    View Post
    My question involves criminal law for the state of: California
    A while back me and child's father had some issues and his parole issued a restraining that states that he has to stay away from me.
    What offense did he commit?

    Were you the victim of his violent assault?

    is this an order placed by parole (i.e. a condition of parole)? Or, is this a Criminal protective Order placed on him by the court when he was charged or sentenced? There IS a difference.

    Well two years have passed and we are trying to attend family therapy with him and kids so we can work on getting things fixed to be able to co-parent.
    How are "we" doing anything when he cannot lawfully have communication with you? Or, does the order somehow allow communication, just no contact? If he is violating the order, he can go back to prison. If his PO decides to check baby-daddy's phone records, he could go away.

    I have been going to church for some time and he has started going for sometime to as well.
    So, is he attending the same church as you? In other words, is he violating the order?

    The only thing stopping him from getting off parole is this as well. He was caught once around me, but we did not even think nothing of it because I droppes the RO order two years ago.
    No, HIS actions are causing him to not get off of parole.

    it has been two years now and we have been able to get a long with no arguments or violence.
    That's how the cycle continues ... and he is still violating the order.

    Has he attended any anger management courses? Has he completed the anger management program? You mention church, talking, his playing nice, etc., but nothing about his attending counselling for his violence. He did NOT go to prison because he swore at you. if he went to prison, he had to have hurt you (or almost hurt you) real bad, and real violently! Cons and abusers are masters at manipulation. And once he has you convinced he's a good guy, and there's a new "honeymoon" period, he'll have you. When he does beat on you again (and he probably will), you may be so embarrassed or cowed that you will not be able to act to protect yourself or your child. You may find yourself thinking you are not worthy of protection, or believing that no one will believe you, and he will have control. While I cannot guarantee this is the kind of guy he is, 21 1/2 years at this job and years to training, experience, and education in psych. tells me that the odds are that he is not going to change his spots.

    Also, understand that if you DO let him back, and the violence continues, CPS will take the child and you can be charged for child endangerment. heck, you could be charged for knowingly permitting him around you right now! Most DA's request automatic CPS referrals and charges for child endangerment against parents who continue to endanger their children.

    So how do I get parole to remove the restraining order that he is not to be around me.
    If it is a condition of parole, HE can talk to his parole officer. If YOU go in, you will admit that he is violating the order and he will likely get sent back to prison.

    If it is a CPO issued by the court, then HE can go back to court and ask that it be lifted. You can also hire an attorney and see what you might do to try and get it lifted. I have seen many of these exact scenarios end up in disaster and even death ... I suspect that he will likely have to wait until his parole is up before he has any chance of the conditions being lifted. At best, he might be able to get the order modified to "peaceful contact," which essentially means that the moment he gets out of line, he's in violation and can go to jail. He may not realize it, but that would put all the power in your corner ... bad for him, good for you, but he can still manipulate you to the point where it doesn't effect him.

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