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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
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    16

    Default Division of Assets After a Short-Term Marriage

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: NH

    Hello!

    -Wife announces wish for divorce on the 2nd. Says there is no chance. I say lets try
    -On 1st, wonderful day filled with love and kissing and holding hands etc.
    -Moves out on 3rd, informs me she already split savings account in half, subtracting from my half money I used to purchase repairs on my car.

    Note: My car was purchased with a $15,000 inheritance of mine, and $8,000 loan in her name. Car is in her name, I have paid all payments and repairs, insurance out of my own pocket except for noted savings withdrawal.

    -4th through 7th- I tried everything in my power to have her speak to me about this. She repeatedly ignores me. I sent tons of texts. I was really really drinking heavily. All messages of me loving her and wanting her back, etc

    8th- I drink a remarkable amount, and start to have visions of suicide....I proceeded to call and call, left a serious of voicemails telling her goodbye. Never saying anything of harm.
    -9th, I get served a restraining order based on fabrication of things I said and the fact I own guns....
    -23rd, hearing. She dismisses order. Informs the court she has filed for divorce on the 19th. First I'd heard.
    -24th, I call the court to inquire if this is true, they said yes and I will be receiving a "ten day letter" informing me I can go pick the documents up.
    Note: I have yet to receive this letter.

    She has told me to save thousands and just sign the paper. I understand in NH, if one person wants a divorce, it will happen under irreconcilable differences pretty much no matter what. I am that guy who doesnt want this divorce. She contacted me and asked when I'll have the money to pay the loan off and transfer ownership.

    I am seeing some inconsistencies in her processes. If my car, in her name, is considered a marital assets, I don't think she should have transferred the extra funds out of the bank. I have applied for legal help in NH, because I also believe because of the inheritance, I may be able to claim that $15,000 from the divorce and give her the car. Maybe I could even get the car straight up, and leave her responsible for loan?

    My main question is I need to know how much time I have to figure this out. Is there anything I can do to buy time and postpone the inevitable? My health insurance is also in her name and I am under the care of a psychiatrist and psychologist. I know that letter I haven't gotten would give me 10 days to pick up papers, but I am also unsure if that is business days or total days.

    Once I get served via sheriff or certified mail, what kind of timeline am I looking at? Could I not show up at all, her get a default judgement, and put in a motion for a hearing? I just need some time. And honestly, all the cold, selfish, heartless behavior has made me want to drag this out! (Not typically a vindictive person, but man, this pain)

    Thanks to anyone who might have pointers or insight!

    Ps: the best diet? Divorce diet. I've lost 30 pounds!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    16,955

    Default Re: Divorce and Confusion

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
    View Post

    -Wife announces wish for divorce on the 2nd. Says there is no chance. I say lets try
    -On 1st, wonderful day filled with love and kissing and holding hands etc.
    -Moves out on 3rd, informs me she already split savings account in half, subtracting from my half money I used to purchase repairs on my car.
    Yeah, that happens. Nothing you can do about it. She would get half during the divorce anyway.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
    View Post

    Note: My car was purchased with a $15,000 inheritance of mine, and $8,000 loan in her name. Car is in her name, I have paid all payments and repairs, insurance out of my own pocket except for noted savings withdrawal.
    Sorry, but that's a marital asset. Doesn't matter who paid what. Your inheritance would have been sole and separate property had you properly kept it that way. But you didn't. So it isn't.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    -4th through 7th- I tried everything in my power to have her speak to me about this. She repeatedly ignores me. I sent tons of texts. I was really really drinking heavily. All messages of me loving her and wanting her back, etc
    You need to stop drinking. You are going to need a clear head to get through this.


    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    8th- I drink a remarkable amount, and start to have visions of suicide....I proceeded to call and call, left a serious of voicemails telling her goodbye. Never saying anything of harm.
    -9th, I get served a restraining order based on fabrication of things I said and the fact I own guns....
    -23rd, hearing. She dismisses order.
    Stop drinking.

    Stop bothering her. Nothing is going to change what she wants to do.


    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
    View Post
    Informs the court she has filed for divorce on the 19th. First I'd heard.
    -24th, I call the court to inquire if this is true, they said yes and I will be receiving a "ten day letter" informing me I can go pick the documents up.
    Note: I have yet to receive this letter.
    You are more likely going to be personally served by a process server or the sheriff. You can duck it if you want to but that will only buy you a few days at the most. Eventually they'll get it to you.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    She has told me to save thousands and just sign the paper. I understand in NH, if one person wants a divorce, it will happen under irreconcilable differences pretty much no matter what. I am that guy who doesnt want this divorce.
    Doesn't matter, she'll get it anyway.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    She contacted me and asked when I'll have the money to pay the loan off and transfer ownership.
    That her name is on the loan gives you some leverage.

    Is she the only name on the loan?

    Are you both on the vehicle title?

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    I am seeing some inconsistencies in her processes.
    You'll have an opportunity to argue them later.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    If my car, in her name, is considered a marital assets, I don't think she should have transferred the extra funds out of the bank.
    Well, she did. You'll just have to iron that out in the asset division.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    I have applied for legal help in NH,
    With what agency? I doubt if people getting divorced qualify for free legal help.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    I also believe because of the inheritance, I may be able to claim that $15,000 from the divorce and
    Doubtful (as I explained earlier).

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    give her the car. Maybe I could even get the car straight up, and leave her responsible for loan?
    Again, you might have some negotiating power about the car since her name is on the loan.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    My main question is I need to know how much time I have to figure this out. Is there anything I can do to buy time and postpone the inevitable?
    Once you are served the Petition (she is the Petitioner, you are the Respondent) you have to file a response to it. You generally have 20 to 30 days. The Petition will probably have instructions. Once you file your response, the discovery period starts (similar to a regular lawsuit) where you both file financial statements (usually mandatory) and any pleadings that you'd care to make.

    Here's a webpage that gives you a general idea of how to respond to the Petition.

    http://family.findlaw.com/divorce/an...-petition.html

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    My health insurance is also in her name and I am under the care of a psychiatrist and psychologist.
    When you get the papers you will probably find a Preliminar Injunction that includes (among other things) an admonition not to remove you from her insurance.

    Once your divorce is final you have the right to continue the same coverage under COBRA (I think 36 months) but you'll pay the premiums yourself. See the DOL website for your COBRA rights.

    http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/health-plans/cobra.htm

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    I know that letter I haven't gotten would give me 10 days to pick up papers, but I am also unsure if that is business days or total days.
    Assume calendar days unless otherwise stated in the letter.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    Once I get served via sheriff or certified mail, what kind of timeline am I looking at?
    As I wrote earlier, you likely have 20 or 30 days to file your Response. After that the divorce process could take many months or longer depending on how much is in dispute or could take a relatively short period of time if you can both reach an agreement.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    Could I not show up at all, her get a default judgement, and put in a motion for a hearing?
    Incredibly foolish idea. If she gets a default divorce because you fail to respond, the judge won't treat you kindly if you ask to have it set aside and you'll be stuck having to give her whatever she was awarded or face contempt charges.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
    View Post

    I just need some time. And honestly, all the cold, selfish, heartless behavior has made me want to drag this out! (Not typically a vindictive person, but man, this pain)
    That's a two edged sword. If you drag it out and she gets a lawyer, they will grind you into the dirt unless you get a lawyer. Then the lawyers will take all your money and happily put it their own bank accounts while you two are spiting each other.

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
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    Ps: the best diet? Divorce diet. I've lost 30 pounds!
    Yeah, I lost 75 lbs during my divorce. I really looked good in court. Also had a girlfriend during the process. Getting one is the best revenge.

    OK, now for some more advice.

    Google New Hampshire divorce and you'll find a ton of resources including the family court website. Study everything you can get your hands on. Go to the court records department and look up other divorces to get an idea of how things are filed. Make copies of sample pleadings and filings that might help you in creating your own.

    Come back to this thread if you have more questions.

    One more time: Stop drinking.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Divorce and Confusion

    I'm not seeing an abundance of legal authority on division of separate assets in divorce in your state, beyond the court's discretion to consider separate property when deciding what division of the estate would be equitable. In some jurisdictions, the commingling of the assets to buy the car would merge the inheritance into the marital estate; in others an additional analysis of the facts might be required. If, as it sounds, the car is exclusively in her name, whatever the laws of your state that further complicates any claim that the inheritance money was intended to continue to be separate property. I suggest discussing those details with a divorce lawyer.

    Dragging out a divorce is a recipe for increased stress and increased cost.

  4. #4
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    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Division of Assets After a Short-Term Marriage

    Check out the NH Domestic Relations statute Chapter 460. There are some property related sections in there.

    http://law.justia.com/codes/new-hamp...ii/chapter460/

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Division of Assets After a Short-Term Marriage

    I already did. Did you see something specific to the issue that I may have overlooked?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Division of Assets After a Short-Term Marriage

    Quote Quoting Mr. Knowitall
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    I already did. Did you see something specific to the issue that I may have overlooked?
    That comment was to the OP as a potential source.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
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    16

    Default Re: Division of Assets After a Short-Term Marriage

    I love you guys. Thanks for taking the time.

    So....yeah. I am still lost. Lol. Fortunately. NH has legal help available for divorce, and I am unemployed currently, and I really pleaded my case. Hopefully it will work. I just don't want to be screwed out of anything that should be mine (there is also at least $2k in wedding gifts in storage). I will re read your responses in the am.

    Oh, and I haven't stopped drinking, but that particular night (8th), 4 bottles of cheap Pinot Grigio and a bottle of Vodka, mixed with emotional distress and heartache....welll....is there such a thing as cloud ten? I was making donut jokes to the cops. If I didn't care about the forum rules I'd tell you all where to get a copy of the calls I made to the PD....you'd have a good lol.

    Bottom line is both have us made mistakes. One party admits there's and is ready for counseling...the other has no intention of admitting anything.....

    I post on this forum because of the different viewpoints I get. It always helps. Thanks again.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    15,420

    Default Re: Division of Assets After a Short-Term Marriage

    Quote Quoting MrSleigh
    View Post
    I love you guys. Thanks for taking the time.

    So....yeah. I am still lost. Lol. Fortunately. NH has legal help available for divorce, and I am unemployed currently, and I really pleaded my case. Hopefully it will work. I just don't want to be screwed out of anything that should be mine (there is also at least $2k in wedding gifts in storage). I will re read your responses in the am.

    Oh, and I haven't stopped drinking, but that particular night (8th), 4 bottles of cheap Pinot Grigio and a bottle of Vodka, mixed with emotional distress and heartache....welll....is there such a thing as cloud ten? I was making donut jokes to the cops. If I didn't care about the forum rules I'd tell you all where to get a copy of the calls I made to the PD....you'd have a good lol.

    Bottom line is both have us made mistakes. One party admits there's and is ready for counseling...the other has no intention of admitting anything.....

    I post on this forum because of the different viewpoints I get. It always helps. Thanks again.
    The bolded doesn't matter. The sooner you accept that the sooner you can get past this whole thing.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
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    16

    Default Re: Division of Assets After a Short-Term Marriage

    Thank you all for the information. I was reading and reading and taking notes and. Well. Bottom line is that all pointless. I don't even know what the papers say.

    So I'm out on my own now, typing this in a parking lot from my, well for now, car.
    I see no reason to go back anywhere really. Doesn't matter now. No point.

    And today's the first day I haven't had a drop. Kinda wished I had some right now. I spent all day at a beautiful ocean outlook of the coast of MA.

    Thanks guys. Again, I mean it. See ya around

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