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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    7

    Default Can You Get Support Modifed by Claiming that the Custodial Parent is Bad With Money

    My question involves child support in the State of: NY

    I came across some harder times so I stopped paying child support for the past 11 months. In the past, I have been very generous, giving ex a total of about $2.8 million over the past 15 years. Each year, up until now, I have paid about $50-60,000 in support directly to the mother, plus another $50,000 in tuition and other educational expenses. Ex takes me to court and we exchange financial disclosure affidavits. I get the surprise(s) of my life.

    1.) She has blown through all the money I gave her and is deeply in debt. She has maxed out her credit cards, blown her credit rating, borrowed from friends and family. A total of $375,000 in debt.

    2.) She is not working.

    3.) When she was working, as far as I can tell, she maid $9,500 per year as an assistant curator at a museum in NYC. Is that even possible? She has an MBA and after the divorce went back to get a masters in the arts. I figured she wasn't earning a lot, but I figured maybe $50,000 per year. Earning $9,500 is just irresponsible.

    4.) I have always wondered exactly how her finances worked, but now I realize that they don't work. Her one saving grace is that she bought a house as an investment property (no mortgage) for $700,000 but then (thinking she was some sort of design wunderkind) spent another $400,000 renovating it. I think she is stuck in mid-renovation and unable to afford to bring it to completion.

    Ex claims I owe her $300,000 but that's not true. At most it is half that, and I actually have some interesting and meritorious defenses. In either case, even if she gets that amount from me, it goes straight out the door to pay her debts.

    What to do?

    Is there such a thing as bringing a contempt of court motion against her for neglect?

    The way I see it, she is about to blow up. Then what? (FYI, she is moving for an upward and I am moving for a downward modification.)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Mother is an Irresponsible Spendthrift

    What neglect?

    In NY support is based solely on the income of the NCP (that would be you in this case).

    As long as the child/ren have been fed, clothed, housed...that money is hers to use as she pleases.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Mother is an Irresponsible Spendthrift

    Dogmatique,

    Yes, I understand what you are saying. Maybe I wasn't quite explicit enough. I believe the mother has irresponsibly brought herself to the brink of ruin. Yes, my child has clothes to wear, food to eat and a roof over head today, but I am not sure that that will be the case in three months. The mother has tapped out her credit, is borrowing odds and ends from friends and has burned through an enormous amount of money over the past 15 years. If I wrote her a check for $150,000, it wouldn't be used for child support. It would go pay off creditors.

    I think I have a pretty good case for a downward modification, but even if I were paying at the historical rate of $5,100 per month, the mother would have to find a continuing source of loans at the rate of $5,000 per month to keep a roof over her head etc. I don't think she can do that so I think it is a matter of time until she can't put a roof over the child's head.

    What to do?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Mother is an Irresponsible Spendthrift

    If she becomes homeless (as in, sleeping in the car homeless - not couch-surfing temporarily homeless), you can of course file to modify custody.

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