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  1. #1
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    Apr 2013
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    Default Will My Support be Lowered if the Custodial Parent Moves In With Her Boyfriend

    My question involves child support in the State of: Michigan

    I have a ten year old (almost 11) year old daughter with BM. I have her half the time, but according to the state it doesn’t count because I only have about 115 overnights. (I got screwed out of 50/50 when I moved back to MI from Nashville with my parents-I was forced to move there for a few years because I was not working, and they moved there and I had no where to live)
    I had arrears I was paying (because BM refused to forgive them), and just recently finished after they took my tax refund. BM demanded I pay her back for half of a school trip my daughter took, I told her she could take it out of my tax refund she stole, but that I was not going to hand her $100 cash when she can’t prove she spends it on my daughter. She went ballistic. She said that that tax refund money was to pay her back (as if I really owed her anything!! She is so entitled!!), not for current expense. She says she will file to increase my child support. It finally went down to $180/month, from $300, I was planning on using the extra money to do things with my daughter.
    She just moved in with her boyfriend, won’t that lower my support? Can I get more custody because of that? She got really defensive when I mentioned her boyfriend, so I know she is scared. She makes almost 40 grand a year, plus his income now, she doesn’t need my money at all, and I am barely getting by!!!! And she want’s MORE?????

    What are my chances that the court will see her boyfriend moving in right when my arrears are paid, and then filing for support she doesn’t need as the money grab it is? I am fine with supporting my daughter, but I WILL NOT SUPPORT HIM. All she cares about is money, I wish I could get custody, but they took my 50% away when I moved and would not give it back to me, i am an involved dad!!

  2. #2
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Support Reduced

    Uh...you're making Mom out to be the bad guy here...why? She didn't "steal" your tax refund. If you'd paid on time what you owed, you won't be in arrears. That's hardly Mom's fault now is it?

    No, it won't lower your support. Mom could marry Bill Gates, and YOUR obligation will not change.

    And here's the really fun part. As long as kiddo has a roof over her head, food in her belly and clothes on her back? Mom can spend every single cent of that child support on her boyfriend if she wants to.

  3. #3
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    Apr 2013
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    Default Re: Support Reduced

    What do you mean she can spend it on her boyfriend? If she won't use it for my daughter, why can;t she come live with me? I have a house, not a crummy apartment like she does.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Support Reduced

    Because child support is essentially aimed at reimbursing the monies the CP has already spent on the child. You know, rent/mortgage, food, utilities, clothing, transportation.

    And seriously dude - $180/month is nothing. Really.

  5. #5
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    Apr 2013
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    Default Re: Support Reduced

    My daughter does not eat that much! shouldn't BM be supporting her, too? She buys her clearance and thrift store clothing!

    she makes almost 40 grand a year, like twice what I make.

  6. #6
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Support Reduced

    Get a better job, another job, or downsize.

    Mom IS supporting her. Y'know, providing that roof over her head. Feeding her. Clothing her.

    Why do I get the distinct impression you're either Mom trying to find out disgruntled Dad's side of things, or Dad's new wife/girlfriend/whatever?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Will My Support be Lowered if the Custodial Parent Moves In With Her Boyfriend

    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    View Post
    I have a ten year old (almost 11) year old daughter with BM. I have her half the time, but according to the state it doesn’t count because I only have about 115 overnights. (I got screwed out of 50/50 when I moved back to MI from Nashville with my parents-I was forced to move there for a few years because I was not working, and they moved there and I had no where to live)
    Michigan's child support formula does not have a cliff. The more parenting time you have, the less support you pay. You (well, your boyfriend) made choices that left mom with the child more than 2/3 of the time, so you pay support. That's fair and appropriate.
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    I had arrears I was paying (because BM refused to forgive them)....
    Well, yes. You owe her money, she's entitled to receive the money you owe, and that's also 100% fair and appropriate.
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    She said that that tax refund money was to pay her back (as if I really owed her anything!! She is so entitled!!), not for current expense.
    If the tax refund was applied to arrears, and your current obligation includes an order to pay your share of costs for school trips and the like, she happens to be correct. And her request for the money you owe would once again be 100% fair and appropriate.
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    She says she will file to increase my child support. It finally went down to $180/month, from $300, I was planning on using the extra money to do things with my daughter.
    Child support is determined by formula. If you got a huge break in your ongoing support because you were unemployed, and you are now employed, it's only fair that you contribute a reasonable amount toward the support of your child. That amount is determined by formula.
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    She just moved in with her boyfriend, won’t that lower my support?
    No, it will not.
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    Can I get more custody because of that?
    Leaving aside that you're not dad, but are dad's girlfriend.... why do you imagine that a parent's entering a new relationship would justify modifying custody, and why do you think that wouldn't apply to your own relationship?
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    She got really defensive when I mentioned her boyfriend, so I know she is scared.
    Scared of what? Of you?
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    She makes almost 40 grand a year, plus his income now, she doesn’t need my money at all, and I am barely getting by!!!! And she want’s MORE?????
    Formula.
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    What are my chances that the court will see her boyfriend moving in right when my arrears are paid, and then filing for support she doesn’t need as the money grab it is?
    The court will look at your income, her income, the number of children subject to the order, the number of dependent children in your respective households, and the formula - and it will apply the formula to come up with a support amount. Whining that paying what the state deems a reasonable amount of support for your own child is a "money grab" will get you nowhere.
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    I am fine with supporting my daughter, but I WILL NOT SUPPORT HIM.
    And you're not. He's irrelevant. Your support does not go up even one penny under the formula due to mom's having a new partner, any more than your own dating relationship affects what you owe. So are you happy now?
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    All she cares about is money....
    Whereas you are completely fixated upon... Hm.
    Quote Quoting daddyinthed
    i am an involved dad!!
    That's great, but baby's gotta eat.
    Quote Quoting gam
    View Post
    I would love to be sitting in the courtroom to hear this one. Patience is not something that the Refs and Judges have in the 6 different county's I know well.
    The girlfriend won't be speaking.

  8. #8
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    Jul 2011
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    244

    Default Re: Will My Support be Lowered if the Custodial Parent Moves In With Her Boyfriend

    Quote Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    Michigan's child support formula does not have a cliff. The more parenting time you have, the less support you pay. You (well, your boyfriend) made choices that left mom with the child more than 2/3 of the time, so you pay support. That's fair and appropriate.

    Well, yes. You owe her money, she's entitled to receive the money you owe, and that's also 100% fair and appropriate.

    If the tax refund was applied to arrears, and your current obligation includes an order to pay your share of costs for school trips and the like, she happens to be correct. And her request for the money you owe would once again be 100% fair and appropriate.

    Child support is determined by formula. If you got a huge break in your ongoing support because you were unemployed, and you are now employed, it's only fair that you contribute a reasonable amount toward the support of your child. That amount is determined by formula.

    No, it will not.

    Leaving aside that you're not dad, but are dad's girlfriend.... why do you imagine that a parent's entering a new relationship would justify modifying custody, and why do you think that wouldn't apply to your own relationship?

    Scared of what? Of you?

    Formula.

    The court will look at your income, her income, the number of children subject to the order, the number of dependent children in your respective households, and the formula - and it will apply the formula to come up with a support amount. Whining that paying what the state deems a reasonable amount of support for your own child is a "money grab" will get you nowhere.

    And you're not. He's irrelevant. Your support does not go up even one penny under the formula due to mom's having a new partner, any more than your own dating relationship affects what you owe. So are you happy now?

    Whereas you are completely fixated upon... Hm.

    That's great, but baby's gotta eat.

    The girlfriend won't be speaking.
    No the girlfriend won't be speaking, however she might try and that is always interesting to see and hear the Refs and Judges tell them off. If this is the girlfriend, and she is feeding dad her thinking, and he is thinking this way, well he does get to speak in court. That would be interesting to.

    The courts I sit in on a regular basis in Mi, have some very colorful Refs and Judges, the things they say on record are unbelievable and very entertaining. I just spent 3 hours, 2 weeks ago in one of these courts. One case was called, lawyer started walking up, dad behind him and who followed dad, oh yeah girlfriend. Girlfriend walked through the little swinging gate and the Judge flipped out. I didn't time the Judges rant, but I'm pretty sure it was close to 5 minutes and in the end, the girlfriend was thrown out of the courtroom completely. The Judge was not nice to dad and his lawyer after that either. In my opinion dad ended up getting the short end of the stick, but it was dads girlfriend and she had no business going up there, so the Judge put that on dad.

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