Regaining Custody After Ex Parte

[kuka14]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: MN. I am currently involved in a custody case with my ex (never married). Our child is 7. Ex was awarded temporary custody 5 months ago after filing an ex parte. (I was awarded sole physical custody in 2008, when child was 2, and have raised our child since birth). At the time ex filed, I was using alcohol as a coping mechanism for several stressful life events that occurred within a short period of time, and realized I was out of control. Unfortunately my mental state deteriorated during this time and I was extremely depressed, hence the alcohol abuse, and my child was affected by this in many ways. On the outside things seemed fine, on the inside we were struggling. I was ready for help, though, and entered treatment. I successfully completed an outpatient program and have transitioned back to my healthier self and sincerely have a positive outlook. The ex was abusive during our relationship, and I left the relationship in 2007 after he threatened my life. He was not an active parent to our child and therefore a main reason I received sole custody earlier. I now have supervised visits with my child four times/month and am allowed 4 phone calls and skype chats weekly. This has been incredibly distressful to my relationship with my child, as I am determined to rebuild our relationship. I had my child in therapy prior to the ex parte, and we are now ordered to see a different therapist for restorative parent-child therapy. Ex has been extremely resistant to any additional communication with my child, and has now refused our child to see my parents, with whom my child and I lived with for three years after ex and I separated (I attended grad school and remained in their home to be a full-time student and mom before moving to our own house when I started my career). My child has a very strong bond/relationship with my parents and this has been hard on everyone. The ex's behavior is bordering on parental alienation for many additional reasons (he has ceased communicating with me - he has not answered emails, texts, voicemails in over two weeks) and I am already seeing the signs in my child. I have a good lawyer, but of course this case seems like it's going to drag on and on - ex has a lawyer who canceled our hearing the day before it was scheduled for unknown reasons and therefore our review hearing has been pushed back two months due to rescheduling. I can't quite read our GAL who was appointed to our case. The GAL report was filed about three weeks ago and she asked that our case be reviewed in another 90 days - most of the information gathered by the GAL took place at the beginning of the ex parte placement and does not address any progress made by me or positive time spent with my child. I am just thankful the GAL did not make a recommendation for permanent custody just yet and I have a little more time to continue doing what is asked of me. So far, I've done everything that was asked of me by the courts: completed treatment, submit to random UAs (which have all been clean), remained sober, continued therapy, made all of the visits with my child (which child now lives 80 miles away because ex moved a few months before filing ex parte - we believe this was part of his plan to gain custody and limit chances of us sharing joint if that's what the courts ordered. Because of the distance, I know we are looking at one of us having sole physical and joint isn't an option). I have a good job and have been identified as a high-potential employee and hope to be promoted soon. I've made other changes such as finding a church I attend regularly, as well as a support group I attend for recovery. With all of this, what do the courts typically do in these situations - since this is a temporary order, is it likely I can regain custody of my child as long as it's determined I have made significant changes? Despite the crisis my child and I underwent during my use, I have always been the more involved parent and my child and I do have a very special bond. I am extremely remorseful of the situation I have put my child in, but this is all part of our healing and I am very determined to show my child I can be trusted again.

[Dogmatique]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: MN. I am currently involved in a custody case with my ex (never married). Our child is 7. Ex was awarded temporary custody 5 months ago after filing an ex parte. (I was awarded sole physical custody in 2008, when child was 2, and have raised our child since birth). At the time ex filed, I was using alcohol as a coping mechanism for several stressful life events that occurred within a short period of time, and realized I was out of control. Unfortunately my mental state deteriorated during this time and I was extremely depressed, hence the alcohol abuse, and my child was affected by this in many ways. On the outside things seemed fine, on the inside we were struggling. I was ready for help, though, and entered treatment. I successfully completed an outpatient program and have transitioned back to my healthier self and sincerely have a positive outlook. The ex was abusive during our relationship, and I left the relationship in 2007 after he threatened my life. He was not an active parent to our child and therefore a main reason I received sole custody earlier. I now have supervised visits with my child four times/month and am allowed 4 phone calls and skype chats weekly. This has been incredibly distressful to my relationship with my child, as I am determined to rebuild our relationship. I had my child in therapy prior to the ex parte, and we are now ordered to see a different therapist for restorative parent-child therapy. Ex has been extremely resistant to any additional communication with my child, and has now refused our child to see my parents, with whom my child and I lived with for three years after ex and I separated (I attended grad school and remained in their home to be a full-time student and mom before moving to our own house when I started my career). My child has a very strong bond/relationship with my parents and this has been hard on everyone. The ex's behavior is bordering on parental alienation for many additional reasons (he has ceased communicating with me - he has not answered emails, texts, voicemails in over two weeks) and I am already seeing the signs in my child. I have a good lawyer, but of course this case seems like it's going to drag on and on - ex has a lawyer who canceled our hearing the day before it was scheduled for unknown reasons and therefore our review hearing has been pushed back two months due to rescheduling. I can't quite read our GAL who was appointed to our case. The GAL report was filed about three weeks ago and she asked that our case be reviewed in another 90 days - most of the information gathered by the GAL took place at the beginning of the ex parte placement and does not address any progress made by me or positive time spent with my child. I am just thankful the GAL did not make a recommendation for permanent custody just yet and I have a little more time to continue doing what is asked of me. So far, I've done everything that was asked of me by the courts: completed treatment, submit to random UAs (which have all been clean), remained sober, continued therapy, made all of the visits with my child (which child now lives 80 miles away because ex moved a few months before filing ex parte - we believe this was part of his plan to gain custody and limit chances of us sharing joint if that's what the courts ordered. Because of the distance, I know we are looking at one of us having sole physical and joint isn't an option). I have a good job and have been identified as a high-potential employee and hope to be promoted soon. I've made other changes such as finding a church I attend regularly, as well as a support group I attend for recovery. With all of this, what do the courts typically do in these situations - since this is a temporary order, is it likely I can regain custody of my child as long as it's determined I have made significant changes? Despite the crisis my child and I underwent during my use, I have always been the more involved parent and my child and I do have a very special bond. I am extremely remorseful of the situation I have put my child in, but this is all part of our healing and I am very determined to show my child I can be trusted again.

Honestly?

No. Your child has been stable for the past 5 months; by the time this comes back to court there is at least a better-than-good chance that Dad will remain primary custodial parent.

Church doesn't matter (in fact, it CAN'T matter legally speaking). Your parents don't matter. Moreover, being clean for 5 months is quite frankly nowhere near long enough.