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  1. #1
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Phone Calls from Non-Custodial Parent

    The thing is, that actually hurts the co-parenting arrangement in most cases.

    If the times are spelled out - as in, "Dad will make Junior available between the hours of 6-8pm on X, Y and Z days for the purpose of phone/Skype visitation" - it actually protects all of you. Most importantly, kiddo.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
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    4,494

    Default Re: Phone Calls from Non-Custodial Parent

    It always amazes me when people can't figure out a way to make their children available to talk to the other parent without a court order. I mean seriously, how hard is it to let the boy get up from the table and talk to his MOTHER? If your husband called at dinner time and wanted to speak to his son, would you tell HIM to call back? Why not?

    Do you talk to your husband during specified times only? People expect non custodial parents to do things they wouldn't do in their own lives and it's a problem. Let the woman talk to her son as much as she wants, whenever she wants. After all, your HUSBAND gets to. Why can't she, exactly?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Virginia
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    604

    Default Re: Phone Calls from Non-Custodial Parent

    Wow. To me, it seems as if stepmom is making a very reasonable effort here. Most noncustodial parents do not have that much phone contact with their children, and the fact that she is trying to keep up with this much contact and keep the peace is commendable.

    I for one certainly do not expect to be able to talk to my child on demand whenever I call if she is with mom. I wouldn't expect her to leave the dinner table to talk to me. It would be absurd of me, not to mention fairly selfish, to expect mom to drop whatever she is doing with daughter to talk to me right then and there, if returning my call an hour later would be more convenient (outside of rare emergencies). And I think it can be unnecessarily restrictive to spell out specific days and times. Heaven forbid kiddo can't participate in extracurricular activities, visit friends, etc., because he has to wait to see if mom is going to call at 7:30. There can surely be a balance. Stepmom seems to have been trying to find that, and mom has taken it to a much more personal level.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Phone Calls from Non-Custodial Parent

    Quote Quoting FatherWhoWon
    View Post
    Wow. To me, it seems as if stepmom is making a very reasonable effort here. Most noncustodial parents do not have that much phone contact with their children, and the fact that she is trying to keep up with this much contact and keep the peace is commendable.

    I for one certainly do not expect to be able to talk to my child on demand whenever I call if she is with mom. I wouldn't expect her to leave the dinner table to talk to me. It would be absurd of me, not to mention fairly selfish, to expect mom to drop whatever she is doing with daughter to talk to me right then and there, if returning my call an hour later would be more convenient (outside of rare emergencies). And I think it can be unnecessarily restrictive to spell out specific days and times. Heaven forbid kiddo can't participate in extracurricular activities, visit friends, etc., because he has to wait to see if mom is going to call at 7:30. There can surely be a balance. Stepmom seems to have been trying to find that, and mom has taken it to a much more personal level.


    So Mom can't do right for doing wrong here?

    Either she can call whenever she wants (not unreasonable)

    Or she gets a court order specifying the times in which the child will be made available.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    So Cal
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    854

    Default Re: Phone Calls from Non-Custodial Parent

    Nope, she (mom) isn't being unreasonable. Let the mom talk to her kid. So what if you're pregnant and have kids of your own? Put yourself in her shoes. This isn't about you.

    And I say this as a step-parent who had to deal with a very difficult CP mom. Mom calls, hand the phone over. You really want to make a battle out of this? You'll lose.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Virginia
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    604

    Default Re: Phone Calls from Non-Custodial Parent

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    So Mom can't do right for doing wrong here?

    Either she can call whenever she wants (not unreasonable)

    Or she gets a court order specifying the times in which the child will be made available.

    No, mom and dad worked out an agreement which seemed reasonable to both and considered the needs of the child. Now mom only seems to have issues with stepmom, and they seem more personal between the two of them than anything else. I think the best thing OP can do is try to keep the original agreement (phone call with no skype if computer access is not available seems fair), keep the child in mind, continue to try be be reasonable, and ignore any issues that mom tries to stir up if they are not reasonable. Dad too. There is no need to engage in any conversation where mom is being harrassing. Hopefully mom will get the picture and discontinue that practice. Either way, OP doesn't need to acknowledge it.

    It might be a good idea also for dad and OP to keep a log/record of communication between mom and son.


    I can't believe anyone would say that mom should be able to talk to kiddo "whenever she wants" regardless of what kiddo is doing or the family is doing. Returning a phone call is not that big of a deal.

    Put myself in her shoes? Any parent, myself included, who spends long periods of time away from their children, is in her shoes.

    And just because dad/stepmom doesn't immediately hand the phone over when mom calls doesn't mean they'll "lose." My ex actually tried to argue this same issue with the judge. She is the one who got an earful from the judge.

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