My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oklahoma.
I'm sorry if this is winded, I just want to give as much info as possible to paint a thorough picture. My husband was awarded physical custody of his 7yr old son 6 months ago, and the mother retains joint legal. Mother moved 800 miles away due to requested orders in the military, and my husband filed for modification and won. The mother was not ordered to pay child support, given standard visitation, and their papers say "phone contact should be liberal and to the agreement of both parents." The mother originally called 5-7 days a week to speak to my step-son, but he requested that she keep to every other day, so she agreed to call Sun, Tue & Thu at 7:30pm. She routinely does not call at all, skipping 4-8 days at a time between calls.
My husband works a rotating shift, every third week he is gone 4p-12a. She calls my phone on Tue & Thu these weeks, and I have offered to let her Skype with him occasionally, and he uses my computer & phone to have this contact with her. Nearly every week that my husband works this shift, there is an issue. I have missed her phone call and gotten rude texts from her, telling me to grow up and answer my d--m phone. If she calls while my step-son is eating dinner and I answer and ask her to call in 15 minutes, or say he'll call when he's done, she texts my husband and tells him that I'm doing this to her so I can 'be in control' or some other such nonsense. Long story short, every week this happens. She always has a problem with me and tattles to my husband, I believe to try and cause problems between he and I. It doesn't, as he's completely on my side, but it does make me unbelievably stressed out. I have two other children at home in addition to my step-son, I'm currently 5 months pregnant, and those weeks I am essentially a single parent while my husband works until midnight.
Here is my issue/question- Do I have to facilitate this contact between the mother and my step-son? Can we tell her that during these weeks, she may call or Skype on Sunday night, and skip Tue/Thu? She told my husband last night that she's decided to Skype 3 nights a week now rather than just a phone call, and we "had better have him ready to talk." It is not feasible to either of our schedules to Skype 3x a week. We are active people, and many times my step-son carries out these phone calls while we're out to dinner, in the car, at my parents house, etc. I cannot stay home when she demands it, so she can Skype, when the child doesn't even want to Skype in the first place (whole 'nother issue there!) I believe that my husband stands behind my idea to cut me out of the equation- afterall, she only starts these fights with him when she has to go through me to speak to her son. If I'm no longer in the middle, she'll have to find something else to pick a fight about.
If she were to file for modification later at some point, is a judge going to look at this and think I am some evil step-mother and award her custody? I don't want to do anything that will jeopardize our having custody of him. I spoke to a friend who is also a step-mother with similar issues and says her lawyer told her that her name is not on those custody papers, and she has no legal obligation to pick up her phone and make her step-sons call their mother. But will a judge see it that way?
Thanks in advance for the help, sorry for being so winded!