An attorney will tell someone potential in a consultation.

I've no clue what the child support enforcement agency has to do with any attempts on his part to modify alimony.

I'm not clear why you think the ex-wife would entertain a lawyer wanting to "negotiate" the arrearages. This is a court-ordered payment he's been obligated to make, and it isn't up to her to decide she'll only accept X. She's free to file a contempt action about it at any time.

If he's so concerned about his kid struggling with whatever, it would seem important for him to be an integral part of the kid's life that has nothing to do with where the kid sleeps (with his family, according to you). He made a choice to move to another state, though there are plenty of places in CT where the cost of living/housing isn't huge.

The fact that his family hasn't been charging their former daughter-in-law rent is up to them. I'm not clear what that has to do with anything. If as you assert the decree said the purpose of the spousal support was for her to have time to get an education, it's unclear why it wasn't for a finite duration. He's been free to go back to the court to note that she hadn't been pursuing that end goal at all and to either issue her a slap telling her that she needs to get moving because it can decide she's not entitled to it any longer.

Your family is free to tell her that they won't be chauffeurs (sp?) any longer.

One doesn't need an attorney to pursue any of the goals he (or you) want to pursue.


"I hate to see him have to keep paying this absurd amount of money to someone ..."

Sorry, but while you haven't said how much the arrearage is, evidently he has NOT been paying the money however often.

"... ex who refuses to contribute anything to better the situation for her own children bothers me."

Is there something awful about the kids' situation, including the fact that they live with grandparents?

"I love his kids and wish that the system didn't favor the mother simply because she has a uterus (to your meth lab point)."

It's entirely unclear what you mean by "favor the mother". Your husband presumably has been in a position to have 50/50 physical custody all along. (Of course, in that situation, the parents typically will live in the same school district. If there's room, perhaps your husband should move back in with his parents. I'm not kidding. That might inspire the ex to get off her duff.)

"... mother is still unable to provide for her kids, she should be deemed unfit. Just sayin... "

Uhm, are her kids going hungry or something? You haven't mentioned that.

You're tilting at windmills here; I don't see the court deciding to change the spousal support retroactively. Maybe you and your husband need to get an extra job (or three); whatever it takes if he wants to proceed with an attorney and has done a cost-benefit analysis on any possible modification or termination weighed against how much it will cost him to pursue (noting if the ex hasn't yet filed a contempt action about arrearage, she definitely will as a strategic matter alone if he files X-Y-Z petitions/motions).