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  1. #1

    Default Mother Leaves Children with Sitter to Stay Overnight at Boyfriend's House

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Tn.
    I am a father of two unwed daughters 6/5. We are scheduled to do mediation soon. For the past two months the mother has consistently got off work around 5pm and returned home to leave our daughters with her mother around 615 pm to go to her new boyfriends house. She stays overnight and goes straight to work the next morning. She has been getting our daughters for seven days straight every other week as verbally agreed. She leaves our daughters twice durring the school week and once on the weekend.
    Can anyone help me with any info that would help me obtain at least two of these days into my custody time since its obvious she does not want them. Thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Mother Leaves Children with Sitter to Stay Over Night at Boyfriend House

    To paraphrase your argument, the mother is not spending her parenting time actually parenting her children and if she is going to delegate her parenting time to her mother, you would like that time given to you instead so that your children can spend more time being parented by a parent. Basically you are saying that children are best off with a parent rather than another care giver (of course provided the parents are fit to parent, which is not an issue in your case from what you have posted).

    The standard in TN is if you are asking for a modification of child support is that you demonstrate by a preponderance of the evidence a material change of circumstance affecting the child's best interest. A material change of circumstance does not require a showing of a substantial risk of harm to the child. A material change of circumstance for purposes of modification of a residential parenting schedule may include, but is not limited to, significant changes in the needs of the child over time, which may include changes relating to age; significant changes in the parent's living or working condition that significantly affect parenting; failure to adhere to the parenting plan; or other circumstances making a change in the residential parenting time in the best interest of the child.

    So the significant change in the parent's living condition is that mom no longer spends every evening and night with her children when she has them; rather she spends some of them with her boyfriend and leaves the children to be parented by a grandparent. And therefore mom is unavailable to parent them during that time (which of course affects parenting). Your modification request would be that those evenings/nights be given to you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    403

    Default Re: Mother Leaves Children with Sitter to Stay Over Night at Boyfriend House

    Quote Quoting androidluvr
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    To paraphrase your argument, the mother is not spending her parenting time actually parenting her children and if she is going to delegate her parenting time to her mother, you would like that time given to you so that you can actually parent your children. Basically you are saying that children are best off with a parent rather than another care giver (of course provided the parents are fit to parent, which is not an issue in your case from what you have posted).

    The standard in TN is if you are asking for a modification of child support is that you demonstrate by a preponderance of the evidence a material change of circumstance affecting the child's best interest. A material change of circumstance does not require a showing of a substantial risk of harm to the child. A material change of circumstance for purposes of modification of a residential parenting schedule may include, but is not limited to, significant changes in the needs of the child over time, which may include changes relating to age; significant changes in the parent's living or working condition that significantly affect parenting; failure to adhere to the parenting plan; or other circumstances making a change in the residential parenting time in the best interest of the child.

    So the changes in the parent's living condition is that mom no longer spends every evening and night with her children when she has them; rather she spends some of them with her boyfriend. And therefore she is unavailable to parent them (which of course affects parenting) on those evenings/nights. Your modification request would be for those evenings/nights to be given to you.
    It might help to first ask if there is a court order at all, because the OP did say their current arrangement is "verbally agreed."

    So is there an order in place?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Mother Leaves Children with Sitter to Stay Over Night at Boyfriend House

    Quote Quoting shortie
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    It might help to first ask if there is a court order at all, because the OP did say their current arrangement is "verbally agreed."
    Good point. Even better for the OP if there is no order in place yet.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Mother Leaves Children with Sitter to Stay Over Night at Boyfriend House

    OP, look at ROFR (right of first refusal) for your state.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

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