What is a "Substantial Change" to Justify Custody Modification

[EA1070a]

Well if they have been unofficially doing something different than is ordered, THAT would be considered a change that would merit her to modify the agreement to what they've already been doing.

I disagree. Unless dad has supervised visitation I can't see the court refusing visitation with dad in his state. That's unreasonable and interferes with day's ability to maintain an ongoing relationship with his kids.

Dad needs to stop giving in to mom's unreasonable demands, especially since mom created the distance.

Dad needs to fight this, argue that she created the distance, and present the emails in court to show that she's trying to interfere with his visitation rights. He shouldn't give in to her demands and should stop trying to accommodate her. The court will look at what is in the best interests of the children and absent a showing of harm to the kids, he has every right to not only exercise visitation, but do so in his own home.

She doesn't get to decide where he can see his children.

Under Iowa Code chapter 598.41(1)(c) (2007), the denial by one parent of the children’s opportunity to have meaningful contact with the other parent is a significant factor in determining the custody or physical care arrangement. See In re Marriage of Will, 489 N.W.2d 394, 399 (Iowa 1992); In re Marriage of Barry, 588 N.W.2d 711, 713 (Iowa Ct. App. 1998). The court must consider the willingness of each party to allow the children access to the other party. In re Marriage of Kunkel, 555 N.W.2d 250, 253 (Iowa Ct. App. 1996). A custodial parent’s lack of cooperation with the noncustodial parent’s visitation and communication with the children may be considered a substantial change in circumstances warranting a modification of the dissolution decree. See In re Marriage of Downing, 432 N.W.2d 692, 694 (Iowa Ct. App. 1988); In re Marriage of Grabill, 414 N.W.2d 852, 853 (Iowa Ct. App. 1987)…

[JessRM]

Well thats what we thought... she is being completely unreasonable in the situation. This gives us hope that there is a good chance to set things straight. Now we just need to find a lawyer to help out. His last lawyer did nothing to keep her from leaving the state with the children. It was written in the decree originally that there was to be no major changes until mediation had been done, and she left anyway. She was never held responsible for her actions. Thank you for the information.

[shortie]

I disagree. Unless dad has supervised visitation I can't see the court refusing visitation with dad in his state. That's unreasonable and interferes with day's ability to maintain an ongoing relationship with his kids.

She doesn't get to decide where he can see his children.

No, she doesn't. Which is why dad should not have been complicit to this arrangement. But he HAS been. And now since they've been doing it since September 2012, it's the status quo. Dad did not have to agree to this since there is a court order.

[EA1070a]

No, she doesn't. Which is why dad should not have been complicit to this arrangement. But he HAS been. And now since they've been doing it since September 2012, it's the status quo. Dad did not have to agree to this since there is a court order.

Still disagree.

The term "status quo" is bandied about a lot here and sometimes it's applicable. But a dad complying with a CP's unreasonable demands for a few months in an effort to keep the peace so he can see his kid isn't likely to harm him in court, especially when visitation orders are already place. Look up the term "totality of the circumstances."

Nobody can predict with any certainty how a judge will rule, but they generally aren't going to award mom's bad behavior (also look up the doctrine of clean hands), disregard mom's interference with visitation, and deny dad visitation at his place of residence absent a showing of extraordinary circumstances. Think no contact with kids for a long period of time, threat of imminent harm to the child, etc..

[JessRM]

So I am wondering if he would need to lawyer to make sure that he is not getting run over by the ex wife. How hard would it be to represent himself or have someone who is not in the legal field help us out with this? We have looked into free and reduced lawyers but they all seem uninterested in helping make sure his rights are enforced or he doesn't qualify for the services. How much does it cost to get her held in contempt for all the wrongdoings she is getting away with? He is very discouraged by the lack of help he is finding especially after the last attorney did not do anything to keep the decree rules from being violated. There is a huge list of things she is refusing to share with him regarding the kids. What do you suggest we do EA1070a?

[shortie]

I don't remember saying mom was going to win. The question is "What constitutes a change in circumstances to modify custody?" The answer of "a change in visitation schedule" is a valid change in circumstance to seek to modify custody. I didn't say, "Mom has a slam dunk case."

[EA1070a]

So I am wondering if he would need to lawyer to make sure that he is not getting run over by the ex wife. How hard would it be to represent himself or have someone who is not in the legal field help us out with this? We have looked into free and reduced lawyers but they all seem uninterested in helping make sure his rights are enforced or he doesn't qualify for the services. How much does it cost to get her held in contempt for all the wrongdoings she is getting away with? He is very discouraged by the lack of help he is finding especially after the last attorney did not do anything to keep the decree rules from being violated. There is a huge list of things she is refusing to share with him regarding the kids. What do you suggest we do EA1070a?

Most family law attorneys offer free consultations. Go speak to a few until you find one you like. I have no idea how much fees are in your area so I'm not even going to speak to the cost. You can go with dad if you like, for moral support and whatnot, but you shouldn't speak. This is dad's issue - not yours. Don't go in there with a huge long story - just a copy of the current visitation order, copies of their email exchanges, and have dad relay the basic facts. It would help if you had the basic facts typed up in chronological order for the lawyer to review. Don't include opinions, etc.. Just the facts.

Then let the attorneys tell you guys what his options are. I would choose experience over someone who is green. There may or may not be jurisdictional issues. Does anything (divorce decree, orders, etc.) state that Iowa has exclusive, continuing jurisdiction? Ask the attorney about it. Tell dad to be honest about everything.

Keep in mind that the lawyers hear this stuff all day long and can come off as jaded or seem uninterested. Don't go in saying the other lawyer didn't do this, that or the other. That's a red flag to a lot of attorneys that dad could be a problem client.

If Iowa has State Certified Specialists I would choose a consult with someone who specializes in family law. Make sure the attorney regularly practices in the Court where his case will be heard. Someone who has an office close to the courthouse. They will be most familiar with how the judges there are inclined to rule.

This isn't really a DIY project. Most people try to handle their own family law cases, but unless there is no other choice, he shouldn't attempt it. Would you try to operate on yourself? Probably (I hope) not.

Any visitation schedule / parenting plan should be as specific as possible re: weekends, holidays, birthdays, and so forth. Vague parenting plans can cause huge problems later.

Dad should definitely ask that mom pay the cost of transportation for visitation. Have him discuss this with the lawyer as well.

The court probably won't do much about the move-away issue since it happened a few years ago. But she's interfering with visitation now and he needs to remedy that. The attorney will know the best way to do so.

Hope this helps a little bit.