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  1. #1

    Post How to Recant a Police Report for Domestic Violence

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Indiana

    My boyfriend went to jail 2 days ago because we got into a fight and he hit me in the face on accident and left a goose egg and he held me down by my throat with his arm to calm me down. I was mad and upset already and called my mom which ended badly. The cops ended up showing up and I had to fill out a police report. I felt pressured by my dad who showed up to fill it out and I was scared. My bf is on probation and is possibly looking at serving his 3 years in prison. I told the cop I didnt want him arrested and they took him anyway. I called the prosecutor and told them it was all a misunderstanding and I wasnt even the one who called the cops and I didnt want him in trouble. Now his probation is saying they can charge me and I dont wanna go to jail or get in trouble. I dont know what Im suposed to do,should I call his lawyer and tell him my situation? The probation is against my bf

    He didnt mean to hurt me. I was freaking out due to stress of my uncle being in a coma and he was trying to calm me down and I got even madder when he was holding me down. My dad never liked my bf to begin with so it didnt help matters any. Ive been angry alot lately due to my uncles position and I over reacted and it made everything worse. He doesnt deserve to be in prison for 3 years. If I call his lawyer and explain the situation will it help any?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How to Recant a Police Report for Dv

    Hon, you need to do two things.

    1. Accept that he's an abuser who needs treatment for his anger issues

    2. Stand up for yourself.

    Because next time, you might be the one ending up in a coma.

    There is help available to you. Letting him off doesn't help you, or him.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: How to Recant a Police Report for Dv

    I strongly encourage you to contact a local domestic violence program or counselor. Immediately. You really need some assistance to help you gain some perspective on what happened to you and to understand that this is NOT an isolated incident.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How to Recant a Police Report for Dv

    I can tell you most likely what is going to happen and it is your choice what you’re going to do.

    Your BF will be charged no matter what you do. However, the evidence against your BF is most likely not enough to prove the case without your testimony. If you are not willing to cooperate the prosecutor might eventually stop pursuing the case but it can take many months and there is nothing you can do.

    What you can try do:

    - Do NOT talk to the prosecutor, police. Ever! Stop talking about the case to anybody!
    - If your BF has a defense attorney sign an affidavit that you do not whish to pursue the case.
    - Do not take the subpoena and do not go to court!
    - If it was really an accident you must tell that if you go to court! The “I don’t remember” is a perfectly good anwer to anything!

    I personally feel that hitting someone accidentaly in the face which causes such visible injury is rather unlikely, but I was not there and I don’t know what happened. You do and you have to evaluate who’s fault it was!

    You are not the first who got into the situation when regretting ever calling or talking to the police.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How to Recant a Police Report for Dv

    Quote Quoting Mark2010
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    Your BF will be charged no matter what you do. However, the evidence against your BF is most likely not enough to prove the case without your testimony.
    Doubtful. Most prosecutors expect victims to go sideways on them because more than 3/4 do. They are often prepared to proceed even with uncooperative victims.

    If your BF has a defense attorney sign an affidavit that you do not whish to pursue the case.
    Unless it is a process presented by the prosecutor, this is unlikely to have any end result.

    Do not take the subpoena and do not go to court!
    That's a GREAT way to be charged with a crime!

    If it was really an accident you must tell that if you go to court! The “I don’t remember” is a perfectly good anwer to anything!
    Great! Suggesting perjury! Wonderful advice!

    I personally feel that hitting someone accidentaly in the face which causes such visible injury is rather unlikely, but I was not there and I don’t know what happened. You do and you have to evaluate who’s fault it was!
    Victims' perspectives are most often skewed by a strange sense of loyalty, need, etc. towards the abuser.

    So, what is your point here? Are you a man who has been charged with abuse? Or, do you just feel that domestic violence is an acceptable act perpetrated by a man against a woman?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to Recant a Police Report for Dv

    I was responding to the original post and NOT you!

    The question is who are YOU? You know everything better than the “victims” themselves? You solve all their problems by sending them to shelters and counseling what they do not even want? Who thinks it is ok to rip families apart based on solely accusations which may not even be true? Guilty without trial?
    Or you simply live off money funneled into shelters and counseling programs by our government and you try to make sure you have enough “victims” to keep the money flowing? Is it ok to make mothers and fathers single parents when they do NOT want it but the “justice system” intrudes their lives and rips their families apart?

    BTW: Avoiding a subpoena is NOT a crime! Not going to court if you got one is! Stop responding to my posts please!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: How to Recant a Police Report for Dv

    Quote Quoting Mark2010
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    I was responding to the original post and NOT you!
    And your advice could very well lead to her incarceration and continued victimization. Clearly your understanding of the issue of domestic violence is cursory at best.

    The question is who are YOU? You know everything better than the “victims” themselves?
    *I* am the guy that helps put abusers away and provides alternatives to victims so that they can live better more healthy lives. *I* am the guy that goes to the autopsies of victims who fail to heed the warnings and shield their abusers once too often. *I* am the guy that has to accompany CPS when they seize children who witness ongoing DV because mom refuses to choose their wellbeing over her abuser's. *I* am the guy who has to deal with the children of abusers who enter into similar relationships as dear old mom and dad (i.e. the girls find abusers, and the boys do the abusing).

    You solve all their problems by sending them to shelters and counseling what they do not even want? Who thinks it is ok to rip families apart based on solely accusations which may not even be true? Guilty without trial?
    Oh, please ... no one is convicted without a trial or a plea. Leave the drama for the 13-year-old girls ... that forum is to the left.

    Or you simply live off money funneled into shelters and counseling programs by our government and you try to make sure you have enough “victims” to keep the money flowing? Is it ok to make mothers and fathers single parents when they do NOT want it but the “justice system” intrudes their lives and rips their families apart?
    I do not get paid by the victim, and do not make placements into shelters ... I provide the assistance and direction, and point resources their way, but haven't the authority to drag any victim someplace against their will. If the justice system "rips" a family apart, it is generally because the perpetrator made the conscious decision to do so. No one can MAKE a man smack his woman around - not even her.

    So, I suspect my original impression was correct - you are a man who has been arrested for DV, correct?

    BTW: Avoiding a subpoena is NOT a crime! Not going to court if you got one is! Stop responding to my posts please!
    It's very difficult to avoid a subpoena, friend ... unless she is going to disappear, it ain't gonna happen. Oh! And if she is unavailable and has fled, then there is a great chance that her original statement can be introduced against the defendant at trial. So, avoiding service may have the opposite effect of the one you would seek to encourage.

    Oh, and so long as you provide dangerous responses to victims that could pl;ace them at continued risk, I will respond to your uneducated and dangerous replies.

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