Keeping One of Two Possible Fathers from Claiming Paternity

[ebabi1991]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: south carolina


there are two potential fathers to the child i am about to have. one is my boyfriend who i live with and would be a wonderful dad. two is a co worker who is mentally and emotionally abusive to me and also i have messages from him stating that he is mental unstable and untreated and wants to commit suicide. this being said if it is his child i want him nowhere near it. now i need to know if i should just but my boyfriends name on the birth certificate either way or should i have a dna test and try to get child support from this other guy. he continuously says if i try to get child support he will take joint custody and raise it with his girl who bad mouths me and threatens me. i also do not want her anywhere near my child. is there any way i can get child support and not let him leave my house with my kid. also i have my own place and he lives with his dad. i would rather give up child support than have my child ever be out of my sight with him or this girl

[Dogmatique]

That would be paternity fraud.

You need to figure out exactly who is Dad. Regardless of whether or not he's paying child support, if your co-worker IS Dad, he WILL be allowed to see the child on his own time.

Ignore his threats, by the way. A 50/50 timeshare with a newborn in an unwed situation is NOT likely to happen - period.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Are you talking about agreeing with your boyfriend that, although this other person could be the father, he would sign an AOP and claim to be the father? Or are you planning to not tell your boyfriend about the possibility that this other person is the father?

[Chede]

You SHOULD want to know which one is the father! If the coworker is truly mentally unstable and is the father, the child may have the same issues. You would want to be prepared for any potential issues with the child.

[shortie]

If you file for child support, then he will be able to file for custody and visitation. And if he gets it, you can't control who he allows around the child, including his girlfriend.

[ebabi1991]

If you file for child support, then he will be able to file for custody and visitation. And if he gets it, you can't control who he allows around the child, including his girlfriend.

why would i have no right to say who is and is not a danger to my child?

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my boyfriend knows and wants to sign the bc to give the child a better life. this dude is mentally and emotionally abusive, his girlfriend is trash he uses drugs, and he is mentally unstable

[Dogmatique]

why would i have no right to say who is and is not a danger to my child?

Because you don't. The court will decide if someone is unfit to be around your MUTUAL child.

Same as Dad - whomever he may be - won't be able to dictate who you allow around the child.

[ebabi1991]

Are you talking about agreeing with your boyfriend that, although this other person could be the father, he would sign an AOP and claim to be the father? Or are you planning to not tell your boyfriend about the possibility that this other person is the father?

my boyfriend knows he wants to sign it to help the baby have a better life this man is mentally and emotionally abusive he is mentally unstable, his girlfriend is trash, they are both on drugs too

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Because you don't. The court will decide if someone is unfit to be around your MUTUAL child.

Same as Dad - whomever he may be - won't be able to dictate who you allow around the child.

so i can prevent this all by not filing for child support. they are on drugs and unmarried i think the courts will file in my favor anyways

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You SHOULD want to know which one is the father! If the coworker is truly mentally unstable and is the father, the child may have the same issues. You would want to be prepared for any potential issues with the child.

but at the cost of him putting my child in danger?

[Dogmatique]

You're not understanding this.

No matter whether or not you file for child support, he can file to establish paternity, custody and visitation with or without you. Unmarried? Uh..you're not married yourself. The court absolutely will NOT say "no visitation" - not at this point. At BEST you'd be able to get temporarily supervised visitation. Once he completes that successfully, he'll be taking the child wherever he wants during his parenting time.

[ebabi1991]

That would be paternity fraud.

You need to figure out exactly who is Dad. Regardless of whether or not he's paying child support, if your co-worker IS Dad, he WILL be allowed to see the child on his own time.

Ignore his threats, by the way. A 50/50 timeshare with a newborn in an unwed situation is NOT likely to happen - period.

i would really prefer him not be out of my sight with my child otherwise i would just as soon forfeit the child support and have my boyfriend on the birth certificate

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You're not understanding this.

No matter whether or not you file for child support, he can file to establish paternity, custody and visitation with or without you. Unmarried? Uh..you're not married yourself. The court absolutely will NOT say "no visitation" - not at this point. At BEST you'd be able to get temporarily supervised visitation. Once he completes that successfully, he'll be taking the child wherever he wants during his parenting time.

your not understanding as long as i do not ask for child support he wants NOTHING to do with this child