Custodial Parent Marrying a Convicted Felon

[souly3]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida.
I maintain primary physical residency for my 5 year and her Father has timesharing every-other weekend. I'm engaged to marry a convicted felon with a 2nd degree murder charge. He's still incarcerated and will be released in 12 months. The incident occurred when my fiancé was 18 and we grew up together. The wrong place at the wrong time and poor decision making led to his crime. He's not a serial killer and definitely isn't a danger to children. My daughters Father is currently unaware of my personal life and future plans, but I anticipate him exploiting this and trying to use it against me as it pertains to modifying our FJ of Paternity when he finds out. Also, we just recently had a Contempt Hearing in ref to my daughters Father and his fiance making disparaging remarks to my daughter about me and for not allowing daily contact and he was advised that if it continues, his timesharing may be modified. Is it possible that I could lose primary physical residency for my daughter for marrying my fiancé?

[aardvarc]

Anything is possible. Dad probably has an above average shot at getting primary custody in a situation like this - not necessarily because you're marrying a convicted felon, but because you're marrying a convicted felon when you can't possibly have established a relationship between your child and the felon. Dad can likely make a very convincing argument that the child remaining with you isn't in the child's best interest because you're effectively planning on plopping a husband into the picture. How much TIME has your child spent with this man? How is their relationship? If the child is 5, and your fiance is still in prison for another 12 months, that's a pretty good indication that he's pretty much a TOTAL stranger to your child. If that's the case, you're likely to hear more disparaging remarks from the judge than you are to hear from your ex. Remember that the court's #1 priority is the CHILD, especially in keeping things status quo and not shaking up children's lives - can't imagine any court would be happy about the situation you're preparing for, so if I had to place a wager, my money would be on the child ending up with dad, if he's willing to push the matter in court.

wrong place at the wrong time and poor decision making led to his crime

That's not likely to instill confidence in a judge, honestly. Especially when the number one person likely to commit a crime against a child (other than the child's own mother), is a man who isn't biologically related to the child - and having NO history with the child in question, AND a history of "poor decision making" that resulted in the death of another person, isn't going to inspire the court that this is likely to be a good idea.

[Dogmatique]

This is very worrying:

" The wrong place at the wrong time and poor decision making led to his crime."

What?

[Dogmatique]

Please explain the nature of this conviction.

Because it WILL matter.

And seriously - you thinking that drinking and driving resulting in someone else's death is a result of someone being in the wrong place at the wrong time? What is going on in your head?

[cyjeff]

No. When you make the decision to get behind the wheel of a car after you have been drinking, you are making the decision to endanger the lives of you, your passengers and any other strangers you happen upon. This is not an accident but (and the courts back me up here) a decision to endanger others.

Your fiancee stabbed a man to death in a drunken rage. He made the decision to go to the party. He made the decision to drink. He made the decision to fight rather than run and he made the decision to use the knife handed to him.

You are enabling his behavior and it's result. This, more than anything else, will expose in court the danger your fiancee represents. You are willing to overlook a murder because you want this man in your life. The judge will not look kindly upon this decision.

Does your husband know now that his 5 year old child is in regular communication with an incarcerated felon? Please tell me there isn't a picture of this child on a cell wall somewhere.

Your romantic dream has already crossed so many barriers that you are going to have a really rough time here.

[cyjeff]

Have you ever driven a car after consuming alcohol?

Yes. But never more than a single drink and never less than 2 hours later. This set of circumstances has happened exactly twice in my life and I am in my late 40's.

Now that we are done with your attempt at misdirection, let's get back to the questions at hand.

Is the father of your child aware of her correspondence with a convicted and incarcerated murderer? Is there a picture of the child in question on a cell wall somewhere?

[Dogmatique]

No. When you make the decision to get behind the wheel of a car after you have been drinking, you are making the decision to endanger the lives of you, your passengers and any other strangers you happen upon. This is not an accident but (and the courts back me up here) a decision to endanger others.

Your fiancee stabbed a man to death in a drunken rage. He made the decision to go to the party. He made the decision to drink. He made the decision to fight rather than run and he made the decision to use the knife handed to him.

You are enabling his behavior and it's result. This, more than anything else, will expose in court the danger your fiancee represents. You are willing to overlook a murder because you want this man in your life. The judge will not look kindly upon this decision.

Does your husband know now that his 5 year old child is in regular communication with an incarcerated felon? Please tell me there isn't a picture of this child on a cell wall somewhere.

Your romantic dream has already crossed so many barriers that you are going to have a really rough time here.

WHAT?!?!?!!!! He STABBED someone to death?! And the OP thought that was being in the wrong place at the wrong time?!

Heck YES if I was the other parent I'd be petitioning the court for an immediate change in primary custody.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh, and no - I've never actually gotten behind the wheel even after having just one drink.