My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NY. My grandson is 3 1/2 years old. He has always lived in our home , for the first few months his mother (our daughter) did as well. When he was about 8 months old, his mother was usually gone with her boyfriend and they got into some trouble with lying to Social Services in an attempt to receive assistance, plus some theft, drug and domestic incidents , and CPS came in to remove our grandson from the home. Our daughter was never arrested but the boyfriend was. At that point, we were awarded temporary custody under an N docket case initiated by CPS. Since then our grandson has been with us with inconsistent visits from his mother.CPS agreed to bow out and the courts changed the N docket to V docket since neither our daughter nor the boyfriend would comply to court recommended drug testing, domestic abuse counseling and other mental health counseling. Boyfriend is on several meds and is an alcoholic we are pretty sure he should not be drinking while taking the medications he is taking. He is not working, and has a family that is regularly in the paper for arrests for domestic issues. Our daughter works full time now (for less than a year) but is still with the boyfriend. Occasionally we allow overnights (maybe 2 nights a month) for her with her son since she appears to be trying but it is stressful to allow this since we have so many issues with the boyfriend. We are stuck bw a rock and a hard place. We dont want to provoke her into going for custody but we dont like our grandson near the boyfriend OR our daughter bc you just never know. They are a volatile pair. Our question is this... she has hinted that she wants her son back before he starts school. We believe she cares for her son but seems to want him back for tax reasons, food stamps, etc. We do not feel she is ready for the 24/7 reality of a child, nor do we think the environment would be as stable as his life here. Do we have any rights as grandparents in this state? Could we retain custody if she petitioned for his return to her? This is by far, the most stressful thing we have ever gone through in our 32 years of marriage. Any advice is appreciated.

