Daughter Would Like More Time with Her Mother, Father is Refusing

[momof3amazingangels]

Stating a GAL would make "mincemeat" out of me tells me that family law, and not just in Ohio, is completely screwed up. The "best interest of the child" policy is a farse. When you are dealing with a teenage girl why not give her the best of both worlds? There is nothing at all wrong with a 50/50 split in this case. Nothing. No matter what the outcome of this case, she will know that I did my very best to fight for her wishes and to be fair on all accounts. I want to be fair. She loves both of us, glad that I am back in her hometown and wants to be with both of us equally. My request for more time with her in not unreasonable.
There's more to this story with step mom being involved and my ex husband not communicating with me only to leave me communicating with step mom, who I have refused to speak with. I have a custody agreement with my ex husband, not his 3rd wife.
Again, your input is appreciated. I think I have a case and besides we do have holidays and vacations to work out. I'm sure we will be ordered to attend mediation as we have in the past.

[mmmagique]

Appointment has already been set with my attorney.
Thank you for your input. I intend to fight for what my child wants. When you take out all of the legal mumbo jumbo it boils down to dad being a complete douchebag. Excuse my language but it's the truth. There's absolutely no reason on the planet why our daughter should be put through stress and not be "allowed" to spend more time with me. People are disgusting.
Thanks again for the input.

I think "douchebag" is being very kind to you. You moved away for a long time, began your own family, and eventually came back. I agree with him that your daughter has stability now, and I think an every other week or every two weeks move is kind of ridiculous, and a bit silly. You created the distance and allowed him to establish status quo. It is what it is.

[Dogmatique]

Stating a GAL would make "mincemeat" out of me tells me that family law, and not just in Ohio, is completely screwed up. The "best interest of the child" policy is a farse. When you are dealing with a teenage girl why not give her the best of both worlds?

Again, I ask - you'd be completely okay with her stating to the court that she doesn't want anything BUT sporadic visitation with you...right?


If it's all about what she wants?

There is nothing at all wrong with a 50/50 split in this case. Nothing. No matter what the outcome of this case, she will know that I did my very best to fight for her wishes and to be fair on all accounts. I want to be fair. She loves both of us, glad that I am back in her hometown and wants to be with both of us equally. My request for more time with her in not unreasonable.

Yes, I'm sure she does. Till the next time you move again?

There's more to this story with step mom being involved and my ex husband not communicating with me only to leave me communicating with step mom, who I have refused to speak with. I have a custody agreement with my ex husband, not his 3rd wife.
Again, your input is appreciated. I think I have a case and besides we do have holidays and vacations to work out. I'm sure we will be ordered to attend mediation as we have in the past.

If you thought you had a case, you wouldn't be here. What with you having an attorney, and all.

[momof3amazingangels]

Christina, it isn't about ME or my ex-douchebag. This have everything to do with our daughter. I wasn't out of her life when I moved 5 years ago. Her and I have kept our bond and it is stronger than ever. What matters is her happiness and yes stability. Stability in your opinion is staying with her father and only seeing me every other week? For what? That benefits her how? Do you have a teenage daughter? She needs the best of both worlds and I will fight to see that's what she gets. Thanks anyway...

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Dogmatique: False. I like to read the input in these forums to see different opinions and get different perspectives. I'm certainly not here for legal advice. My attorney provides that for me.

[mmmagique]

Ok, please don't call him a douchebag. Your daughter was made by him as well as you. He also cared for her when you either couldn't or wouldn't. I think you should be allowed to see her every weekend and maybe a weeknight here or there. But moving back and forth is not a healthy situation for anyone.

I have TWO teenage daughters. Their father has done some REALLY bad and illegal things, and I don't call him names. When he is *ahem* available again, I will give him some visitation, but even if he moves nearby, we're not doing a 50/50 split. I just don't think it's a good idea. (unless you live right next door...then...maybe)

[Dogmatique]

Christina, it isn't about ME or my ex-douchebag. This have everything to do with our daughter. I wasn't out of her life when I moved 5 years ago. Her and I have kept our bond and it is stronger than ever. What matters is her happiness and yes stability. Stability in your opinion is staying with her father and only seeing me every other week? For what? That benefits her how? Do you have a teenage daughter? She needs the best of both worlds and I will fight to see that's what she gets. Thanks anyway...

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Dogmatique: False. I like to read the input in these forums to see different opinions and get different perspectives. I'm certainly not here for legal advice. My attorney provides that for me.

Yes, stability IS the status quo.

That's kind of the whole point.

What do different opinions matter when you HAVE an attorney who knows your case intimately?

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Ok, please don't call him a douchebag. Your daughter was made by him as well as you. He also cared for her when you either couldn't or wouldn't. I think you should be allowed to see her every weekend and maybe a weeknight here or there. But moving back and forth is not a healthy situation for anyone.

I have TWO teenage daughters. Their father has done some REALLY bad and illegal things, and I don't call him names. When he is *ahem* available again, I will give him some visitation, but even if he moves nearby, we're not doing a 50/50 split. I just don't think it's a good idea. (unless you live right next door...then...maybe)

She's made up her mind, hun.

Bless you for trying

[FatherWhoWon]

Mom here is essentially making the same argument that many ncp dads often make... that their child deserves equal time with both of her parents. To a large extent, I believe that is true, but it more often than not falls on deaf ears.

More to the point, the folks here make some excellent arguments that I do agree with. Most notably that you have moved out and now back into your daughter's life, at least as far as proximity and frequency of face to face contact, and now dad is a "douchebag" because he thinks daughter should have one primary home? Until you regain some respect for dad (who seems completely reasonable, whereas you seem a bit whiny thinking he should pay your legal fees because he doesn't agree with you) and realize that moving back and forth is really a bigger issue than you're admitting to, if I were a judge (and I am most certainly not, but I know a few), I would have a hard time giving you what you want as well. And I'm probably the biggest proponent of 50/50 custody you'll find anywhere on this forum. I also have a teenage daughter who lives primarily with me.

[momof3amazingangels]

Obviously I have yet to speak with my attorney however reading these comments gives me peace about my decision to take ex-douchebag to court. Please don't call him a douchebag? LOL Hilarious. He's been married 3 times, and shoved 2 other women in my face among other things. I'm whiney because I'm trying to do the right thing for my child? Wow. Again, the entire case will be played out in court and I'm certain my daughter's voice will be heard. You're right, my mind is made up hun!

[mmmagique]

So do you call your daughter douche? or bag? Because she's half his. Do you call him names in front of her? Please don't say no because you think it's the right answer. You seem to have no issue at all calling the father of your child anything that feels good to you at the time.

I find it odd that reading these responses makes you feel that it's a good idea to take your ex to court. Perhaps ANY response would do so... I'm starting to think that maybe you should take him to court. Do not be surprised if the one paying for the other's attorney is you, however...

[Dogmatique]

Obviously I have yet to speak with my attorney however reading these comments gives me peace about my decision to take ex-douchebag to court. Please don't call him a douchebag? LOL Hilarious. He's been married 3 times, and shoved 2 other women in my face among other things. I'm whiney because I'm trying to do the right thing for my child? Wow. Again, the entire case will be played out in court and I'm certain my daughter's voice will be heard. You're right, my mind is made up hun!

You're assuming it will even GET to court.



It sounds like your bitterness towards him has overtaken what's actually best for the poor child