Is It Possible for Me to Receive Full Custody of My Son

[bode_1976]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alaska

I'm writing in relation to a question on how I would go about letting my son live with me. I have a seven year old son with my ex-wife, we divorced before he was born and I agreed to child support and partial custody which has equated to about 2 months in the summer and several holidays throughout the year. I also live in a different state than my son (he lives in MN and I live in AK) where he resides with his mother, her new husband, and her daughter from a previous relationship. I live with my wife and our four children and currently have my son over the holiday break. Lately, for the past six months or so, he's been asking my wife and I about the possibility of him staying with us and going to school in AK. I assumed it was simply sadness at being so far from me and chalked it up to him not wanting to leave his brother and sisters -- but over break he said that his mom is never home, and that his stepdad yells a lot and has hit him before. Clearly, this is alarming and I do not want my child raised in a household like that, my wife spoke with my ex a few nights ago to see what she could find out as I was too upset to speak with her and she denied the whole thing and said that we are putting words in our son's mouth. I told her that I wasn't allowing my child to be raised in a household where he was in danger and would be pursuing full custody if the situation was not resolved. She then demanded to speak to our son which I agreed to as I didn't want to be accused of keeping her from him and when he got off the phone he was in hysterics. I know there is probably no way that I can keep him beyond our allotted time right now, but I'm terrified of sending him home.

I'd like to clarify that I only want what's best for my boy and I believe he should have a strong relationship with both his parents, but I can't sit back and watch him be neglected. My ex-wife is not a bad woman or mother, I think she's just going through a hard time and is caught up with the wrong guy. My wife and I are both prepared and willing to take care of my son whether it be temporary or permanent and we are far more financially stable than my ex so I doubt that would be a problem. So, what do you all think? Do I have a chance? And, who do I go through for the courts -- would it be in AK or MN? I've never, besides the initial court proceedings, never had to do anything like this and have paid my ex-wife by child support by agreement.

[mmmagique]

Unless there is a (legal definition of) significant change in circumstances, no court is going to change your order unless both you and your ex agree. Teens often think the grass is greener on the other side, and do tend to exagerate problems in the home.

[bode_1976]

My son isn't a teen...He's seven and up until the last 6 months or so has been happy with the arrangement, it's the only arrangement he's ever known. It's not as if my ex and her husband are newly married -- they've been married for 2 years and together for 3. Nothing has been drastically different other than what I stated above. So, there would be no way for me to ask the courts to change the order? I mean she's not going to agree, but if he is in danger doesn't that matter?

ETA: So, there would have to be some sort of ruling or judgment as to why his current home is dangerous, correct? Like, if it was reported to Child Protective Services or if he went to a school counselor? Could that not be an unbiased source to get the ball rolling? I'm not saying I'm going to do that, but if it does turn out to be true and I have no reason to believe it isn't then I want to know if I have any options.

[Dogmatique]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alaska

I'm writing in relation to a question on how I would go about letting my son live with me. I have a seven year old son with my ex-wife, we divorced before he was born and I agreed to child support and partial custody which has equated to about 2 months in the summer and several holidays throughout the year. I also live in a different state than my son (he lives in MN and I live in AK) where he resides with his mother, her new husband, and her daughter from a previous relationship. I live with my wife and our four children and currently have my son over the holiday break. Lately, for the past six months or so, he's been asking my wife and I about the possibility of him staying with us and going to school in AK. I assumed it was simply sadness at being so far from me and chalked it up to him not wanting to leave his brother and sisters -- but over break he said that his mom is never home, and that his stepdad yells a lot and has hit him before.

Dad - he's SEVEN. You know how to tell when a seven year old lying? His lips are moving.

Clearly, this is alarming and I do not want my child raised in a household like that, my wife spoke with my ex a few nights ago to see what she could find out as I was too upset to speak with her and she denied the whole thing and said that we are putting words in our son's mouth. I told her that I wasn't allowing my child to be raised in a household where he was in danger and would be pursuing full custody if the situation was not resolved.

You messed up BIG time there. Seriously Dad - you messed up.

She then demanded to speak to our son which I agreed to as I didn't want to be accused of keeping her from him and when he got off the phone he was in hysterics. I know there is probably no way that I can keep him beyond our allotted time right now, but I'm terrified of sending him home.

Send him home per the court order.

I'd like to clarify that I only want what's best for my boy and I believe he should have a strong relationship with both his parents, but I can't sit back and watch him be neglected. My ex-wife is not a bad woman or mother, I think she's just going through a hard time and is caught up with the wrong guy. My wife and I are both prepared and willing to take care of my son whether it be temporary or permanent and we are far more financially stable than my ex so I doubt that would be a problem. So, what do you all think? Do I have a chance? And, who do I go through for the courts -- would it be in AK or MN? I've never, besides the initial court proceedings, never had to do anything like this and have paid my ex-wife by child support by agreement.

Honestly? I don't think you have a chance in Hades of changing custody. Your child is seven. His opinion won't even be heard by the court.

All you have is "Mom is always gone", which is obviously an exaggeration, and that stepdad has hit him before. What, Mom allows stepdad to spank as part of discipline? That's her right. If he's actually being abused, then yes he needs to speak to his school counselor. Please encourage him to do that.

But please, for your son's sake, don't accuse and/or confront Mom again. Not like that.