I Have Not Seen My Daughter in 19 Days - Father is Holding Her from Me

[thetawave]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: North Carolina

Here is information regarding what my childs father is doing to me. In short he has refused to let me see my daughter going on 19 days now, and has not answered my phone calls or texts. The times he has he has told me he will not let me see her, because he doesn't like the way I'm living in short. Its christmas night and he still will not answer my calls and let me see my daughter. We have had a verbal agreement among ourselves to share time with her 50/50. What he is doing is pure evil and is not only hurting me but most of all I know this has to be hurting my daughter!

Here is a breakdown of the events:

I was dating a boy named ..lets call him Brian....at the time and I started to see someone else. I fell in love with this other person who is now my boyfriend and has been trying to help this situation. I broke up with Brian on the 8th of December....and started dating my current boyfriend. My babys father was never too keen of Brian to begin with. After I broke up with him Brian hacked my facebook account and shared information with my babys father that was on the account. Keep in mind he did this illegally without my consent. Also my house was broken into some time within a three day span of staying at my current boyfriends right around the dates of the 8th to 10th.

My childs father says that I'm not living right. That he has information against me and this is his reason for keeping my child. The information he is referring to is facebook conversations Brian gave to him, and pictures that he took of my house being messy. Keep in mind either Brian broke in or he did or both of them did. It's my opinion none of this will ever hold up in court because both actions are illegal.

He has threatened my current boyfriend saying he would assault him if he ever sees his car parked in my driveway or sees him period. The funny thing is he has never even met him and has no clue about what type of person he is. He says that my current boyfriend will never see my child. He doesn't have any specific reason just like all the other things hes said which are completely contradictory. I even told him I wouldn't have him around her at all and he still said he wouldn't let me see her.

He has always been controlling and I've given in in the past. His family practically stalks me and is always asking where I am even when I do not have my child around me. However ever since the 8th conversation has been minimal because he will not answer my calls or texts for the most part. On one occasion he said we were going to be able to meet up and I could see her about 5 days ago, and then texted back and said he was too tired. I've done nothing wrong in this situation and he has no legal reason to be keeping my child from me. 19 days now and its Christmas and I haven't I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW TO GET MY CHILD BACK!

If you need anymore information on the situation please ask. I need all the answers I can get right now to get my 5 year old daughter back. What he is doing is pure evil.



Note: I have contacted someone at child services, but so far no one has been able to help with this situation properly. I've been told I'd be called back etc. but no one is putting this as a priority like I feel it should be. I've done nothing to deserve having my little one taken and held from me like this. Please HELP!

[Disagreeable]

Aside from expressing your displeasure and promiscuity, you have not conveyed the facts of any court orders regarding the child, which is what is actually pertinent.

[aardvarc]

Is the child's father legally established as the father? (Is he on the birth certificate, or was an acknowledgment of paternity completed?)

[thetawave]

I have acknowledged to dss that he was the father. At the hospital he did not sign the birth certificate but he told me that he had went to dss and signed it but I was not there so I cannot say for sure.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Your lawyer can help you determine the father's status. Assuming paternity is established, you need to get a lawyer, go to court, and seek a custody and visitation order. You will presumably seek a temporary order asking for physical custody with some amount of visitation to dad; you can discuss with your lawyer what you might request if paternity is not yet established (and that could in turn depend upon whether this guy is 100% unquestionably the father or if there's another possibility).

[tex11]

Try calling the police. Unless paternity has been established or there is a court order granting him rights as a parent, you are the SOLE legal custodian of your child.

If that does not work, an attorney may be able to get an emergency hearing with a family court judge to sign an order to return the child to you.

[Mr. Knowitall]

So you picture her calling the police and telling them, "The father has our child for three weeks, there are no court orders and I don't know if his paternity has been established," and... then what? Really, she needs to get to court and commence custody proceedings.

[tex11]

She can call police and claim that as an unmarried mother and sole legal custodian of her child, the father (if he really is the father) has no legal right to refuse to return her child to her, and that she wants her child back.

Unless the father can show the police otherwise, the police may intervene on her behalf. Police are inconsistent on how they handle such matters, and it may or may not work in this instance.

But either way she will have the answer to this very quickly.

Alternatively, if mom lacks the financial means to quickly retain an attorney, it may be a long wait to have her child returned.

If she does get the child back, she should not allow the father unsupervised access without a court order

[Mr. Knowitall]

In North Carolina, once paternity is established an unmarried father has the same rights as a married father. If she tells the police what she told us: that the father is in fact the father, that she doesn't know whether paternity was established, and that she's acquiesced to his custody for three weeks, they should be telling her to go to court. The police shouldn't be treated as a "Hail Mary" solution for parents who don't take the necessary steps to establish and protect their rights. If paternity has been established, you would be advising her to do to the father exactly what she's complaining that he's doing to her.

DSS is open. If mom wants to know if dad established his paternity, it is easy enough for her to find out. Everything else flows from there.

[FatherWhoWon]

In North Carolina, once paternity is established an unmarried father has the same rights as a married father. If she tells the police what she told us: that the father is in fact the father, that she doesn't know whether paternity was established, and that she's acquiesced to his custody for three weeks, they should be telling her to go to court. The police shouldn't be treated as a "Hail Mary" solution for parents who don't take the necessary steps to establish and protect their rights. If paternity has been established, you would be advising her to do to the father exactly what she's complaining that he's doing to her.

DSS is open. If mom wants to know if dad established his paternity, it is easy enough for her to find out. Everything else flows from there.

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