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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    28

    Default Post Divorce Financial Threats

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: IN

    My attorney filed PO petition during the course of our divorce, which dragged on for over two years. The decree came in last month; the house is to be sold and I have no funds for moving til then or something breaks for the better. He made two threats of bankrupting me through the divorce that are recorded. We have children so there was some contact, but I cut it off because conversing with him is a waste of time. He currently has a charge of invasion of privacy; I sent a recording to the prosecutor's office earlier today as he came bounding into the house a while back, yelling and screaming that I was "destroying people's lives" and that he "wouldn't stop" (his behavior) until I didn't have the "right to walk the dirt" anymore. Frankly, I am sick nearly to death of waking up to this stupid drama everyday and he refuses to pay on a support judgment, more legal fees to finally get his 15 hour weekly check docked.

    So today, I get a copy of a letter from his attorney. He plans to quit paying utility bills and wants credit for future mortgage payments against my award. I WANT OUT, but not to have to live in the streets, etc. Already called the realtor HE wanted to get the sale rolling; learned I was the only one to make contact. I am finally figuring out (attorney) demands don't necessarily reflect what a judge might order. I am just wondering if I can approach some of these demands through the protective order. My car is breaking down a LOT and it is making it hard for me to keep my job. I am in the middle of nowhere and there are no places I can walk or bike to for work. And if I could keep my car running (like with the judgment $$) I could get another job and get out. He is intentionally trying to freak me out, knowing I am subject to panic attacks and I know he is angry because he didn't succeed in scaring me out of the house to begin with. But he is also dead serious, he has severe gambling issues and I realize (finally) that has driven a lot of past problems.

    Our divorce decree: completely silent on possession and costs. Attorney said PO protects my possession "rights" as long as it is in force. The provisional order (pro se) he was responsible for payments. My attorney bailed because I insisted on filing a post decree motion after finding evidence of fraud and more extensive gambling than previously known. Should I or is there something I can file, or do I wait for the lights to go out? I'm tired of his threats and he violated the provisional order by cutting off about $200 worth of services a month; my attorney did nothing. I am angry, because despite his increased income from violating THAT order, he also continued violating the one directing he pay me the support he owed. And now he wants more. I wanted out because I have been through this stuff with him and it seems the person doing harm gets away with it. I would be better off without the award and re-earning my losses, but need a place to start. The street or my car ISN'T it.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    Word for word, does the order ACTUALLY state that he is responsible for utility bills?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    The provisional order, yes. "Petitioner shall pay, as they become due, utility expenses and other maintenance expenses in connection with the marital domicile." I had to make a payment, which he later paid back, to keep electric from being shut off. My attorney didn't bring up any of this. I don't know if better to make a list and wait, respond to his attorney's letter or wait for a response on my post decree motion and address it then.

    I can't figure what to do because I don't know how fast house will sell, but if I move out, it probably WON'T; then I will get nothing. He refused to sell last year. I just need some money at least to get out and move my things, be closer to jobs as my car has become unreliable (and he bought a car since the judgment). He is (not being dramatic, just realistic) trying to smash my life.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,991

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    you are the petitioner. according to what you have posted you are responsible for utility costs and maintenance

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    Quote Quoting Lehk
    View Post
    you are the petitioner. according to what you have posted you are responsible for utility costs and maintenance
    Where are you GETTING this?

    Dude, some of your posts this morning have approached nonsensical. Are you okay?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    Petitioner is ex-husband.

    Protective order did not order him to pay any costs, such as attorney fees (paid to get PO)
    or counseling, which I have and one daughter (for panic attacks). The PO itself does not delve
    into other costs. The divorce judge granted the PO; ex has not paid support judgment and he
    has threatened twice to bankrupt me through this mess. He rescinded ONE settlement offer
    back in April once accepted, forcing trial and the costs associated with it. I have nothing to leave
    and it is not pleasant to stay.

    Recording where he promises to "drag it out" he also says he won't pay and the judge can go F***
    himself.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    I think I just about give up. I've just had to eat $8k in attorney fees, over $2k in counseling and after doing my paper route yesterday (I used to actually have a career), went to get gas. Debit card won't work. Oops ... b/c I'm out of money. Good thing someone pulled me out of the ditch yesterday when a two hour job turned into a five hour nightmare. I guess it would have been best for me to just quit paying on my debts when he filed for divorce, then I'd have NO problems ... instead, I sit here pretty much wishing I wouldn't keep waking up to a nightmare that just keeps getting worse ... and I can't quite put my finger on what I've done to deserve it all or why being irresponsible seems to pay a lot better. My 19 year old daughter will just have to deal with over $14k of bills she shouldn't have to; my nerves are too frazzled to even try anymore.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    How does your daughter incur expenses from you getting a divorce? It seems you are really attempting to project blame for your attempts to extend your stay in the marital home, with him footing the bills and forcing him to give you money he does not appear to have, with a 15 hour a week job.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    from reading your about your situation, all I want to tell you that not all lawyers are created equal. You noted that your papers were "silent" on some issues. Your papers should not be silent on anything. Everything needs to be spelled out or else you are headed for trouble. If you are not happy with the work your attorney is doing, you may want to reconsider keeping him/her.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Post Divorce Financial Threats

    Quote Quoting adda
    View Post
    Petitioner is ex-husband.

    Protective order did not order him to pay any costs, such as attorney fees (paid to get PO)
    or counseling, which I have and one daughter (for panic attacks). The PO itself does not delve
    into other costs. The divorce judge granted the PO; ex has not paid support judgment and he
    has threatened twice to bankrupt me through this mess. He rescinded ONE settlement offer
    back in April once accepted, forcing trial and the costs associated with it. I have nothing to leave
    and it is not pleasant to stay.

    Recording where he promises to "drag it out" he also says he won't pay and the judge can go F***
    himself
    .
    Its time for a reality check. Unfortunately there are people out there who are just so darned determined NOT to pay the other party (or anything that benefits the other party) that they will tank their own financial lives if they have to, in order not to pay. Anyone who is willing to say "f" the judge is likely to be one of those people.

    Therefore, you really need to find a way to get your life in order so that you can manage without any money from him, and so that anything that you ever do receive from him will be more of a "bonus" than something relied upon.

    One option might be to file contempt against him for everything that he is doing wrong, and then ask the judge as part of that case to order that you have sole decision making regarding selling the house and that you can do so without your ex's participation or signature. Another option might be to give up on the house (depending on how much equity actually exists) and simply get yourself a place to live that is close to other people, jobs and public transportation. You may have to borrow money from family to do that, or sell things you don't want to sell in order to do that, but it may be your best choice. The house may eventually get sold and you may eventually get your share, but don't rely upon it.

    Another option might be to take in a roommate or two to help with the expenses until the house is sold if you do keep the house for now.

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