Abused as a Child, Now an Adult

[plheme]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Missouri

The things I've listed in my title have been going on for a long time by multiple family members, but right now I only live with one. I went to college, got a degree, and nobody will hire me. I've tried telling the police about the abuse/harassment/intimidation/lies, but I have trouble organizing thoughts to try to communicate effectively so maybe they don't believe that this is going on or don't think it's severe enough and they just tell me if I don't like where I live, to just move out. Either way, this has been tolerated and/or copied by everyone for a long, long time and I can't deal with it any more. Psychiatry doesn't help because psychiatry is about fixing your own problems: not the abuse unless it's simply getting over it. When I was a kid social workers basically asked why family would be abusive. How does one give an answer to that question? I don't know why people are abusive. There was one I started to tell when I was a kid, but she just talked me down by repeating that I'd be put in foster care and that things are worse in foster care. And no company will hire me for a job and I think that they can tell I'm depressed. As long as I'm yelled at every single day and I'm neglected to the point I can't learn life skills, then I'm always going to be depressed and nobody will ever hire me and things will just get worse. Without a job, I'll never be able to get out. I have trouble with all of these things because of developmental disability. I'm not sure what those life skills are and it makes sense that I don't know what they are because if I did, I would probably have those skills. I can function on my own, but I need external supports, like a psychiatrist and somebody that can teach me skills so I can succeed in the workforce and become a part of the general population. Not to the point where I need to be hospitalized or have a guardian, though. Everybody has some difficulties in life and these are mine and I'm trying to overcome them, but I can't because I don't know how. I'm over 18, but apparently the skills that I've needed weren't taught to me so control of me by family would continue and I wouldn't know how to leave. They've ruined my life and I feel like I can't pick the pieces up on my own. But I don't know what to do. It feels like I've tried every avenue. But none of them will work. It seems like all I have left is to try to post here. I really don't know what options I have because it seems like there are so few and I have very little money since I haven't really been able to work. I'm seriously stuck and I feel helpless. I feel broken and breaking. And I'm not sure if there are ANY options. Please help me, someone and I hope somebody can understand. I need an advocate, somebody to lean on and somebody to learn from. FYI, I don't seem to be looking in any of the right places. If this isn't the right place, that should explain it and if anybody knows, please point me in the right direction? Thanks for reading.

[Disagreeable]

I suggest you seek guidance from God and the church.

[drthyrd]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Missouri
The things I've listed in my title have been going on for a long time by multiple family members, but right now I only live with one. I went to college, got a degree, and nobody will hire me.

The economy has been a challenge for job seekers with experience, more so for many new graduates without work experience. What is your degree? Are you working with your college career center?

I've tried telling the police about the abuse/harassment/intimidation/lies, but I have trouble organizing thoughts to try to communicate effectively so maybe they don't believe that this is going on or don't think it's severe enough and they just tell me if I don't like where I live, to just move out. Either way, this has been tolerated and/or copied by everyone for a long, long time and I can't deal with it any more.

If you contact the police when a physical assault is occurring, they may take action against the abusive family member. I am not sure however, that the abusive family member facing criminal charges would solve any of the problems you have stated here which have largely to do with gaining self sufficiency and self esteem.
If the abuse you refer to is psychological rather than physical the abuse you refer to may not be criminal and therefore, the police may not be able to act in any way to address the situation. There is a lot of damage psychological abuse can do but much of it is legal.

Psychiatry doesn't help because psychiatry is about fixing your own problems: not the abuse unless it's simply getting over it. When I was a kid social workers basically asked why family would be abusive. How does one give an answer to that question? I don't know why people are abusive. There was one I started to tell when I was a kid, but she just talked me down by repeating that I'd be put in foster care and that things are worse in foster care.

You are young, per the tone of your post. Just because something hasn’t worked once doesn’t mean it never works. If you find the right counselor, you may find the help you need. Have hope.

And no company will hire me for a job and I think that they can tell I'm depressed. As long as I'm yelled at every single day and I'm neglected to the point I can't learn life skills, then I'm always going to be depressed and nobody will ever hire me and things will just get worse. Without a job, I'll never be able to get out.

Low self esteem and a lack of confidence will not help in a job interview and these may be things you are projecting when you interview. If your family is not able to provide the coping skills you need, you may have to reach out to others for help.

I have trouble with all of these things because of developmental disability. I'm not sure what those life skills are and it makes sense that I don't know what they are because if I did, I would probably have those skills. I can function on my own, but I need external supports, like a psychiatrist and somebody that can teach me skills so I can succeed in the workforce and become a part of the general population. Not to the point where I need to be hospitalized or have a guardian, though.

Goodwill Industries has programs to help people enter the workforce as does various other community agencies. You might look into volunteer opportunities through them, United Way, Salvation Army etc. If you are able to show the skills you can bring to an organization, you may make the connections you will need to gain employment. Even if it does not lead to a paying job, making a contribution will help your self worth and you will develop work skills you will eventually take into the work force.

I'm over 18, but apparently the skills that I've needed weren't taught to me so control of me by family would continue and I wouldn't know how to leave. They've ruined my life and I feel like I can't pick the pieces up on my own. But I don't know what to do. It feels like I've tried every avenue. But none of them will work.

You have described a challenging situation. You might want to develop a plan that has many small steps that lead to the ultimate goal of moving out. You could start with something simple like looking for a volunteer opportunity, attending a civic club meeting, volunteering in the community. Work toward your ultimate goal of becoming self sufficient. You can do this.
Good luck and God bless.

[aardvarc]

In addition to drthyrd's excellent info, your local United Way can also point you to local programs that can do things like help you develop a sulf-sufficiency plan (tackling transportation, employment, financial management, housing), pair you up with a peer-consultant or mentor, get you into support groups to brain-storm and learn from the similar experiences of others, develop social skills, etc.