How Should Child Support be Used

[rallie35]

I totally understand that and agree. I don't think that child support is an allowance for the child. Yes it does provide food, shelter, ect.
However......when I see my ex in brand new $100 shoes and see that she has has her hair dyed, and an expensive haircut, while dropping my child off in shoes that don't fit, amd in second hand clothes. Then see that my child is sick all of the time...it very frustrating.
So yes child support is for daily expenses, not fun trips to the toy store.
But they aren't for mommas shopping spree either!

[jk]

But they aren't for mommas shopping spree either!

actually, in all but a few states, if that is what momma chooses to do with the money, yes, it is.

[Dogmatique]

I totally understand that and agree. I don't think that child support is an allowance for the child. Yes it does provide food, shelter, ect.
However......when I see my ex in brand new $100 shoes and see that she has has her hair dyed, and an expensive haircut, while dropping my child off in shoes that don't fit, amd in second hand clothes. Then see that my child is sick all of the time...it very frustrating.
So yes child support is for daily expenses, not fun trips to the toy store.
But they aren't for mommas shopping spree either!

Do we have to pull out the swimming pool analogy AGAIN?!

Here we go.

Treat your checking account like a swimming pool. Every month, you add 500 gallons of water from child support. You add another 1000 gallons from your job. Maybe you have a birthday and get another 50 gallons for gifts.

Now, you take 300 gallons out to pay your rent. You take 200 gallons out for food. Another 200 gallons for medical care.

How in the world would you be expected to know that the gallons you took out for food, clothing, etc was the same as the money that went in for child care? Obviously, you can't.

Read it and learn.

[rallie35]

Time out people!!
I'm no way am I disputing the distribution of child support. And thank you for the swimming pool analogy that was cute, when my baby makes it to kindergarten i will teach it to her.
I in no way expect to dictact how support is spent......but after months and months of seeing her with expensive new things and expensive new clothes...al the while I've not one time seen anything new for my child. In fact she is sent in shoes that don't fit her feet, she has not one time been properly packed, she is constantly sick, and her mother has made no attempt to correct this.
No has she made any attempt to use child support to increase the value of my child's life.
Not saying she doesn't deserve new things...but instead if spend 100gallons on shoes, 200gallons on new clothes, 70gallons on a new purse...spending 370 gallons on herself......how about use a few gallons to put my child in an activity, instead of letting her be constantly occupied by other children down the street so that she won't have to be an active parent.
So yeah I agree with support being used for every day life...but I don't agree with the abuse of money. As when the only benefit goes to momma...and in no way ever goes to benefit my child.

[jk]

since you are not the OP this is getting sidelined but if a non-custodial parent pays child support and sees the situation you describe, that person can petition the courts to address the situation. The only real issue you mentioned that would be a real offense would be the shoe issue though.

of course you can provide shoes that fit, medical treatment, and anything the mother does not send with the child. After all, the child support sent to the other parent is not replacement for providing for the child, especially when in your charge.

[rallie35]

Perhaps she could spend 50gallons on shoes, 100gallons on clothes, and 35gallons on a new purse. Cutting that in half and using the other half to spend 20gallons on a pair of shoes that fit her feet, 15gallons for a copay at the Dr, and 5gallons to get some medication!
Let's compare...previously was a total of 370gallons.
But in a scenario of providing for more than her greedy self
She spend 185gallons and benefited.
Spend 45gallons on my child......and now she still has a few gallons to keep in the pool!

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And yes I do provide for her...she does have clothing here, and she does have activities here.
Once again, I do not dis agree with you.....but I certainly disagree with a blatent abuse of child support.
It is for daily life expenses....not ones own personal gain.

[jk]

And yes I do provide for her...she does have clothing here, and she does have activities here.
Once again, I do not dis agree with you.....but I certainly disagree with a blatent abuse of child support.
It is for daily life expenses....not ones own personal gain.

so, can you prove it was the child support money that was used for the parent's purchases? Think of it this way; if not for the child support (and having to support the child), would the parent have been able to purchase the items you have a problem with? If so, then you can figure the child support is not being used to support the mother as well.

[rallie35]

And yes I do provide for her...she does have clothing here, and she does have activities here.
Once again, I do not dis agree with you.....but I certainly disagree with a blatent abuse of child support.
It is for daily life expenses....not ones own personal gain.

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Actually I can.
I make 3times the money she makes, after I pay my expenses including child support, I barely break even.
She makes $12.00 an hour. No she otherwise would not afford her new champaign lifestyle. I may not be able to show to an exact dime and from which dime her new things were obtained.
However, it is obvious that she uses support for her own personal gain...I'm not saying I'm calling out the calvary on this...yes I'm am addressing the issue of shoes, and the fact my child is constantly sick. But why would I not!? As she is they one responsible for her 80% of the time.
It is a VERY obvious abuse of support....weather legally right, wrong, or indifferent.
Oh and joke your quote in saying that most lawyers should be ignored too!!!
That's pretty good.
Anyway...enjoyed the debate.....have a good day and happy holiday.

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Just look through the typos......I'm using my phone internet.
Which could bring me to another soap box...but I bet you know where I would be going with that...so I will leave it alone.

[Dogmatique]

And yes I do provide for her...she does have clothing here, and she does have activities here.
Once again, I do not dis agree with you.....but I certainly disagree with a blatent abuse of child support.
It is for daily life expenses....not ones own personal gain.

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Actually I can.
I make 3times the money she makes, after I pay my expenses including child support, I barely break even.
She makes $12.00 an hour. No she otherwise would not afford her new champaign lifestyle. I may not be able to show to an exact dime and from which dime her new things were obtained.
However, it is obvious that she uses support for her own personal gain...I'm not saying I'm calling out the calvary on this...yes I'm am addressing the issue of shoes, and the fact my child is constantly sick. But why would I not!? As she is they one responsible for her 80% of the time.
It is a VERY obvious abuse of support....weather legally right, wrong, or indifferent.
Oh and joke your quote in saying that most lawyers should be ignored too!!!
That's pretty good.
Anyway...enjoyed the debate.....have a good day and happy holiday.

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Just look through the typos......I'm using my phone internet.
Which could bring me to another soap box...but I bet you know where I would be going with that...so I will leave it alone.

It strikes me as odd that you're more concerned about money than the fact your child is - according to you - "constantly" sick.

I guess we know your agenda, huh?

[Chede]

Just a thought. The mom may be using credit cards, she may be "gifted" those items, she may have bought them second hand. You don't know. As for the child and the shoes, she may have proper fitting shoes at the mother's home but the mom sends her in "old" clothes or shoes that do not fit for fear that if she would send the child with proper fitting clothes and shoes, she would not come back with the same items. You just never know the situation. She could be doing it because she wants to make sure that YOU do your part and provide for the child when she is at your home (which it sounds like you do).