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  1. #1

    Default Ex is Remarrying - Can He Take Custody

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York

    My ex is soon to remarry. He and his soon to be wife and her kids recently bought and moved into a house. We had had a rought divorce and custody fight but the judge granted me legal and physical custody. I am worried because he is in his own house and will have a wife and I am ummarried and living with my mother while I work on my degree that he will try to take the children from me. His soon to be wife over teh summer had asked our youngest wouldnt he like to live in ny again and he told her no but I am still worried he will try to take them.

    The house we live in with my mom is small and they have to share a bedroom whereas at my ex's new house they wouldnt have to. His house is newer where mine is older. But they never lack for food or attention, love their family here and are getting good grades in school.

    Should I be worried?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    He can certainly file for custody, if he desires. But filing is not the same as being granted custody, and just because he's re-married and living in a house does not mean a change in custody is in the best interests of the child.

    Custody always turns on the best interests of the child, not on which parent is more wealthy.
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    Quote Quoting lamplighter45
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York

    My ex is soon to remarry. He and his soon to be wife and her kids recently bought and moved into a house. We had had a rought divorce and custody fight but the judge granted me legal and physical custody. I am worried because he is in his own house and will have a wife and I am ummarried and living with my mother while I work on my degree that he will try to take the children from me. His soon to be wife over teh summer had asked our youngest wouldnt he like to live in ny again and he told her no but I am still worried he will try to take them.

    The house we live in with my mom is small and they have to share a bedroom whereas at my ex's new house they wouldnt have to. His house is newer where mine is older. But they never lack for food or attention, love their family here and are getting good grades in school.

    Should I be worried?
    No, you shouldn't be worried at all. Dad has no change in circumstance to even validly ask for a modification at this point. His remarriage and purchase of a house is completely irrelevant.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    Thank you!! I may not be able to give my sons as many physical things as their father can, and the house is small and needs repair compared to his larger newer house..but my house is a home filled with love and support and my sons always come first.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    Quote Quoting LawResearcherMissy
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    He can certainly file for custody, if he desires. But filing is not the same as being granted custody, and just because he's re-married and living in a house does not mean a change in custody is in the best interests of the child.

    Custody always turns on the best interests of the child, not on which parent is more wealthy.

    This is not true. Dad would probably have a hard time finding an attorney to take a custody modification case in this situation. Could he ask the courts for more parenting time and get it -- maybe, if it is in her best interests. But for a legal change in custody dad would probably have to prove mom is unfit or the child was in a situation where she is endangered. If the court gave mom physical/legal custody fairly recently and mom's situation hasn't changed, there is probably not a reason to change custody. Once custody is initially determined it is very very difficult to change. Just because one parent's situation changed (which happens all the time) doesn't mean they get custody.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    hopping, I'm confused about what Missy said that was untrue/disagreeable. Maybe you misread?

    "Dad would probably have a hard time finding an attorney to take a custody modification case in this situation."

    Uhm, so long as father has money and desire, this isn't accurate.

    As for original poster, I suspect that while you may have sole physical custody, you don't have sole legal custody (as in, the father has no rights to decision-making related to kids' lives or anything other than visitation).

    "Once custody is initially determined it is very very difficult to change."

    As a blanket statement, this isn't accurate.

    "Just because one parent's situation changed (which happens all the time) doesn't mean they get custody. "

    That's essentially what Missy pointed out though.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    Quote Quoting Foster_Foster
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    hopping, I'm confused about what Missy said that was untrue/disagreeable. Maybe you misread?

    "Dad would probably have a hard time finding an attorney to take a custody modification case in this situation."

    Uhm, so long as father has money and desire, this isn't accurate.

    As for original poster, I suspect that while you may have sole physical custody, you don't have sole legal custody (as in, the father has no rights to decision-making related to kids' lives or anything other than visitation).

    "Once custody is initially determined it is very very difficult to change."

    As a blanket statement, this isn't accurate.

    "Just because one parent's situation changed (which happens all the time) doesn't mean they get custody. "

    That's essentially what Missy pointed out though.
    OP stated that she does have sole physical/legal

    Any decent attorney would not take a custody modification case based on a move by one parent. Sure you can throw your money at an idiot trying to get what the law doesn't support, if you do that, you're an idiot and so it the attorney that does it. My ex tried this, with a knowledgable attorney, and even though my ex is very legally aggressive and unreasonable and wanted a custody modification, his attorney talked him into a parenting time modification case. Much much much easier to do. Custody modification does not equal parenting time modification. I am not sure that you actually see the difference here. There is a gigantic difference.

    Custody is very hard to change. There are specific circumstances (abuse, neglect, otherwise unfit parenting) in which you can get it changed or the parents can jointly agree to change custody (but again, if there is not a basis for this, sometimes the court won't allow it.) Blanket statement or not that remains accurate.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    OP stated that she does have sole physical/legal
    And she also stated that she's worried that Dad would have a chance to change that. She's not asking about parenting time modification, she's asking about custody modification. Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    Any decent attorney would not take a custody modification case based on a move by one parent
    You're assuming Dad would find a "decent" attorney, or would not go pro se.

    Nothing I said was incorrect. "File for" and "be granted" are absolutely not the same thing. He can ask the court for anything he wants. That in no way implies he's going to get it.

    Read carefully before you go rambling off in the wrong direction.
    I'm not a lawyer, but I play a researcher on the internet!
    Caution: I bite. WARNING: Do not send questions or complaints by PM. I'm likely to post them publicly and embarrass you half to death.
    I'm training for the MS Society's Bike to the Bay - and blogging about it!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    403

    Default Re: Ex is Remarrying Can He Take Custody

    HoppingmadinMN, you are incorrect on this one. It is okay to be wrong, it happens. Just accept it and learn instead of arguing. I've been wrong on here before and I learned from it. Missy is correct here.

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