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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    27

    Default Accused of Neglect After Taking Baby, Baby Wouldn't Eat

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: AL

    I posted two weeks ago about wanting primary custody of my infant. Wife and I are going through the process of divorce but are still married. I realized due to responses that the reason courts favor mothers is because the kids usually already lived with them. So I decided my best chance was for the baby to *already* live with me. So I went to the house where she is staying with her friend in the middle of the night and took the baby.

    Three hours later, I have a crying baby. I try to feed the baby formula, but she won't take it. This is because my manipulative ex was solely breastfeeding (I believe she did this as a way to ensure she would have custody). In the morning, my wife realized the baby wasn't there and came over to my house. By this time, the baby was crying so hard, and hadn't eaten for almost half a day and I didn't want to starve her so I let my wife take her back.

    First she said she was gonna charge me with kidnapping. But I told her she couldn't because it's my child too. So I didn't hear from her for a day, then she told me she took the baby to the doctor to have something on file and she's gonna charge me with neglect because I didn't feed the baby in my care.

    Can I be charged with neglect or any other criminal charges for this instance? Does it help my case that I was actively trying to feed the baby?

  2. #2

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    Oh my god. Everyone told you to go to court and you had no prayer of getting FULL custody and to leave it alone and go through the court system.

    You should be rightfully charged with tresspassing, and child endagerment.
    Your ex isn't "selfish" for wanting to breastfeed your child, and you are VERY selfish for taking an infant away from it's mother who is it's sole source of food.

    I don't know if you will be charged with abuse, it's up to the parties involved, but personally if I could email your ex your posts here and tell the judge you shouldn't even be allowed visitation, I would.

    Honestly you'll probably get supervised and very limited visitations after this stunt. Look down at your foot, is it bleeding profusely?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    This is because my manipulative ex was solely breastfeeding (I believe she did this as a way to ensure she would have custody).

    Couldn't possibly be because it's better for the baby. Oh, no. It's all about you.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    Wow.... Seriously just don't even know what to say to this one.... Basylica is right - you're gonna be lucky to have supervised visitation after that stunt. And I would be expecting mom to be rightfully frightened and to allow NO visitation at all until she's got some kind of signed-by-a-judge court order in her hand that will protect the baby and keep something like that from happening again.

    And really - breastfeeding exclusively is being manipulative?? I'd say that's reaching just a bit (more like a LOT). Uhh way to make it all about YOU. Couldn't be maybe that she's thinking it will be best for the uhh baby?

    Never mind the fact that this was Not Even Your Wife's house - it's her friend's house. How did you get in? You already know the friend doesn't want you there. I'd say that's seriously unlawful entry at least - which is a crime....

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    8,006

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    Quote Quoting anxiousdad
    View Post
    Can I be charged with neglect or any other criminal charges for this instance? Does it help my case that I was actively trying to feed the baby?
    Since mom was unaware the baby was gone, I'd hazard a guess that you entered the dwelling in an unlawful manner and likely at an hour that everyone was asleep. There's a potential criminal charge right there.

    As others have intimated...you may have just seriously damaged any case for custody you have. I'd imagine any visitation you will get will initially be supervised (for a long time) and there may be a permanent bar on any out-of-jurisdiction travel with the child. You have now given your wife an amazing example to show the court. If she's smart, she will at least file an informational report with the local police to document your stupidity.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    This is outrageous. OP, you need to get counseling, STAT. (and a good attorney)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    27

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    Before everyone starts blaming me, you should know a few things:

    I was the bigger person by giving back the baby to her. I put my child's needs before my own by returning her to the mother even though she's an unfit mother with mental problems.

    I was advised on here by someone to go get the baby so that I could establish the "status quo."

    You guys are always telling people on here that without a court order, and with a married couple, one parent can always go get the child and the other parent can't do anything about it. I wasn't wrong to get my child. I have a right to. And when I noticed she wasn't feeling well, I gave her back.

    And I think it is manipulative for her to not introduce formula to the baby. In our situation, she should be more accomodating.

    So I guess the answer to my question is "yes." I can be charged with neglect. Awesome.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Inland Empire
    Posts
    1,410

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    Talk about maniuplative. There is nothing manipulative about breast feeding the child, but your behaviour and intentions are the epitome of manipulation.

    I hope your wife gets a bombtastic divorce lawyer shreds you to pieces.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    Quote Quoting anxiousdad
    View Post
    Before everyone starts blaming me, you should know a few things:

    I was the bigger person by giving back the baby to her. I put my child's needs before my own by returning her to the mother even though she's an unfit mother with mental problems.

    I was advised on here by someone to go get the baby so that I could establish the "status quo."

    You guys are always telling people on here that without a court order, and with a married couple, one parent can always go get the child and the other parent can't do anything about it. I wasn't wrong to get my child. I have a right to. And when I noticed she wasn't feeling well, I gave her back.

    And I think it is manipulative for her to not introduce formula to the baby. In our situation, she should be more accomodating.

    So I guess the answer to my question is "yes." I can be charged with neglect. Awesome.
    You have not gone about things in a normal, reasonable way.

    You cannot steal a baby from a home when everyone is sleeping. What the HELL would you think if the baby was with you and you woke up one morning and she was missing?

    You are NOT the bigger person, because a normal person would never, ever steal a baby in the middle of the night. Not ever.

    You think it's manipulative for a mother to breastfeed your child?!! Why don't you do some research on breastfed babies vs. bottle fed babies regarding future health issues and get back to us?

    You have more than just anxiety issues. You need more counseling than you've been getting.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Can I Be Charged with Neglect

    Quote Quoting anxiousdad
    View Post
    I was advised on here by someone to go get the baby so that I could establish the "status quo."
    By whom?
    Quote Quoting anxiousdad
    You guys are always telling people on here that without a court order, and with a married couple, one parent can always go get the child and the other parent can't do anything about it. I wasn't wrong to get my child. I have a right to. And when I noticed she wasn't feeling well, I gave her back.
    Here's the thing: You did this in secret, and you put the baby at risk because you don't know how to take care of a baby. Now when mom goes to court she'll have the record of your sneaking into her house to whisk the baby away and your being incapable of basic baby care - and you're going to try to convince the court that she's the one who's mentally ill?

    Will you be charged with neglect? Despite your best effort, I doubt it - but only time will tell. Frankly, if you're charged I would find B&E to be more likely.

    Did you just dig yourself into a giant hole, custody-wise? Yep. And no matter how much you waggle your fingers at others, nobody here told you to do what you did - and had you said, "I'm going to sneak into the mother's home, take the child, not tell her, and try to keep the child long enough to claim to be the status quo custodial parent," you would have been told the obvious: You're nuts if you think that's either a good idea or that it's going to work.

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