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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010

    Default How to Prove Drug Use by the Other Parent

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: virginia

    Im asking this for my daughter who lives with us .

    my daughter and boyfriend had a child together .. his mother and father seemed like everyday down to earth people(aside from the alchohalism) , they own a family business , own a home

    Until my daughter discovered that the Boys Mother and Father smoke crack and she found out that on occasion he has smoked it with his father aswell ....and he smokes large amount of marijuana , he is an alchoholic and was issued a DUI at 18 and almost killed 2 girls . Once my daughter found out about the drugs she broke down and told my wife and i everything and we are behind her %110 .

    she has filed for FULL custody and she filed for child support aswell.

    Here is our issue, the court date for the is 11/20/12 but she is suppose to attend mediation friday , The most we are willing to budge is letting them have visitation at a supervised location at there expense .
    now if she has to explain why in mediation this gives him almost a month to drink water ....take whatever masking meds are available and pee clean once my daughter brings this up in court and ofcourse resume the drinking and driving , drugs ect right after court.....just like he did lastime

    Can my daughter go into mediation and say "were going to court" this is non-negatiable" and when asked why say "thats just what i want"

    I dont mean to be a Jerk ....a DUI , a girl with a broken back and another one almost dying while drunk driving didnt change him......The birth of the most beautiful thing i have ever laid eyes on didnt change him.....i really dont think a 4th chance is in order

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Somewhere near Canada

    Default Re: How to Prove Drug Use by the Other Parent

    It's not your decision to make. Period. Even if.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Sterling, Virginia

    Default Re: How to Prove Drug Use by the Other Parent

    Does your daughter have any kind of evidence/proof of his drug use? My daughter was lucky with her son's father in that he stupidly posted all over facebook about smoking marijuana, how he'd been doing it for 10 years, how he couldn't even get through a day without it when he tried. She got physical custody, 50/50 legal custody, and he got only supervised visitation until he completes a court-approved drug treatment program and shows 6 months of negative drug tests. Without any evidence of any kind, I don't know what, if anything, your daughter can do.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2010

    Default Re: How to Prove Drug Use by the Other Parent

    No she doesnt have any proof she could show the court......thats why i titled the thread "Mediation will be an issue" (mod changed it) ....because if she has to say in mediation that she is not wanting him to have free visitation because of the drugs then that will give him almost a month to clean up just for the test. everyone from social services to family friends are telling us if she brings up the drugs in court they will test him then and there .....witch is what i want.

    My original question is how can she avoid any agreement in mediation so that we can do this infront of a judge

    should she ask for an outrageous amount of child support and visitation she knows he wont agree to ??? or should she just be simple and to the point and say "i want this settled in court" ???

    thanks for your reply and info Lancebabe

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Behind a Desk

    Default Re: How to Prove Drug Use by the Other Parent

    Quote Quoting Virginia Statutes, Sec. 20-124.4. Mediation
    In any appropriate case the court shall refer the parents or persons with a legitimate interest to a dispute resolution evaluation session to be conducted by a mediator certified pursuant to guidelines promulgated by the Judicial Council at no cost and in accordance with the procedures set out in Chapter 20.2 ( 8.01-576.4 et seq.) of Title 8.01. In assessing the appropriateness of a referral, the court shall ascertain upon motion of a party whether there is a history of family abuse. If an agreement is not reached on any issue through further mediation as agreed to by the parties, prior to the return date set by the court pursuant to 8.01-576.5, the court shall proceed with a hearing on any unresolved issue, unless a continuance has been granted by the court. The fee of a mediator appointed in any custody, support or visitation case shall be $100 per appointment and shall be paid by the Commonwealth from the funds appropriated for payment of appointments made pursuant to subsection B of 16.1-267.
    Your daughter should have argued in a timely manner that her case was not appropriate for mediation. To have the court determine that the case is appropriate for mediation and order the parties to mediation, then have one party flatly refuse to participate in the process, is not likely to result in a report back to the court that looks favorable to the party who won't cooperate with the mediation process.

    Courts hear "I think my ex uses drugs" with considerable regularity. Courts normally expect that somebody making such an allegation will present evidence.

    What's the present visitation arrangement and schedule?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010

    Default Re: How to Prove Drug Use by the Other Parent

    Thanks for the reply i'll state what happened
    When my daughter went to the courts to file the petition she explained everything ....he told us "the case worker" that It MUST go thru mediation
    he also advised us that she does not have to allow any visitation at all (I live in Virginia)
    she is also going to state that she left him and took the child because of his drug use ......Not "i think my ex is doing drugs"

    and she is NOT refusing mediation , she just wants to avoid an agreement at mediation so that a drug test can be given in court and the case heard in court and the child will not have to goto a home where drugs are being used for visitation

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