Please excuse the length of this post. I think we have a somewhat complicated situation and I do not want to leave out any relevant facts, and I am not qualified to determine what information is relevant or not to my questions.

I am an USC engaged to a British Citizen. We met online, however I lived with him for several months (just over 4) in the UK, and recently returned to the US. We have known each other a total of 6 months. We plan to marry next month, and before anyone judges, please know that we are both in our early 40's and he has not been married previously. I have, but it was over twenty years ago. It took us loads of time to find each other, and are both extremely happy and surprised that we have. Unfortunately, we are finding the immigration laws of both of our countries to be quite socioeconomically disadvantageous, discouraging and emotionally/financially draining, among other things.

Initially, we intended to utilize the VWP to bring him here for our wedding, after which he would return rather immediately (10 days later) and I would remain in the US whilst we would proceed with a UK Spousal visa application for me. We have checked and re-checked and understand that if we have no intent to settle here, that he can come to the US to marry me without a fiance visa (so long as he returns pretty immediately.) He has significant ties to the UK as he is a homeowner, a small business owner and has two young children with whom he is quite involved. Our incomes together barely meet UK sponsorship requirements, but we think we can prove enough at a push. The economy has affected his business greatly, although it's still afloat (barely), and I am on disability in addition to a flexible part time (online) tutoring and writing job that brings in a nominal income.

We both have arrest records (mine from 20+ years ago and his from 6 years ago.) I received expungeable probation and he has received two cautions. I found out recently that my record was not expunged and I still show a felony arrest for marijuana.

Wow, I guess we don't look so hot on paper .

Anyway, we only just found out that USCIS requires disclosures of arrests - even without formal charges or conviction, thus making him ineligible for VWP. Of course, we would much rather follow the rules and make the proper disclosures and follow the proper procedures, but there are a number of issues/obstacles/fears that are turning us away from doing so. We can narry afford a lengthy, expensive, uncertain visa process just before our wedding and our impending expenses for my visa application to the UK.

We have already ordered his criminal background check (ACRO) and literally have no idea what to expect from it. The two cautions he received were simple cautions, and we don't know how that will read on the report or what weight they will carry to USCIS/The US Embassy. One caution was for marijuana possession. It's my understanding that no weights are indicated on police cautions, and since there was a caution, it wouldn't generate an MCO(?) (which to my understanding is a police report of some kind) and the MCO is where any weights would be indicated. Thus we are unsure if he would qualify for the visa ineligibility waiver. (30 grams of marijuana or less)

The second caution was issued after a person filed a false report against him and he was advised to just take the caution and be on his way. Some kids were breaking bottles and wreaking havoc behind his shop. He chased them away by threatening to call the police and the female in the group dropped her cell phone while fleeing. Rather than leaving it on the sidewalk, he picked it up for her. She came back and retrieved the phone - which he gave to her without hesitation, but the girl reported him to the police for "stealing her phone" and reported that he touched her inappropriately. He did no such thing. He says he still doesn't really know what it was all about, and was quite baffled by the whole scenario, but took the caution because he was told that cautions don't really count as a criminal offense and it was the quickest way to get rid of the whole matter. No good deed goes unpunished, I suppose.

I read a few posts on "spent" cautions/convictions (I read the terms in a couple of places) but have no idea what they are or if they would apply to our situation, or even be relevant/irrelevant to the US when it comes time to issue visas.

Both of his cautions were received in 2006.

Now, our wedding is in less than 6 weeks. It is my impression from reading hundreds of forum posts in various forums that given the two cautions, and the content of them, (a drug caution and a possible theft + ?? caution) there is a strong chance that he would not be granted a tourist visa to come to the US for our wedding. It costs hundreds of dollars (that are coming directly out of our already very small wedding budget) to complete the necessary requirements for his application. There are application fees, CRB fees, medical exam fees (drug test fee, too?) postage fees for return of passports and, if issued, a visa fee as well. There is absolutely no guarantee of getting a tourist visa - and I'm given the distinct impression it depends on the whim of the consular officer at the time of the interview. It is also my impression that in some cases, decisions are final and are not eligible for appeal. We are also uncertain as to whether he would pass a drug screen as he occasionally uses marijuana. I do not.

Additionally, the time frames indicated on the USCIS website for a wait for an appointment are cutting it extremely close to our wedding day. It is an average of 22 days to wait for an appointment, another xxx days, weeks or months to process the application. Also, in order to even ask any questions, much less make an appointment, you have to call a premium phone number and pay loads of money with no guarantee of getting through. Today, I called three times - each time I was put through a menu of choices, charged money and then disconnected after an outgoing message stating: "we are experiencing a very high call volume, please try your call again later."

As I stated before, we have no intention of settling in the US, as I plan to join him in the UK. It is possible however, that 10 years or more down the road, after his children are grown, we may change our minds, but who is to say?

The possibility of completing the process of getting him a visitor visa in a timely fashion (in time for our wedding) seems far-fetched at best and hopeless at worst. We both feel as if we are being repeatedly forced to pay for mistakes of long ago - and are being disproportionately penalized for our pasts - both financially and emotionally.

Further, it is my impression that his issues could very well equate to an automatic and/or permanent bar from the US. If that is the case, what is the incentive to even attempt proper procedures? If he's likely be barred anyway, why not just attempt the VWP route and hope for the best? Even if we were found out, it seems that he'd be penalized no more severely than the repercussions we would suffer at the hands of a failed tourist visa application with no appeal recourse.

What risks do we run if we intentionally bypass the visitor visa and pursue the VWP route?

Please note that I am not looking for justification, support or any kind of permission to do this.

I would just like to know, in no uncertain terms what the possible outcomes of attempting the VWP route would be for us - both positive and negative (best and worst case scenario) as well as short term and long term effects of our actions as it pertains to the US. Additionally, how would we benefit from going through the whole process if the outcome would be the same regardless, and we'd be out loads of money in the mean time?

If we DO go through the proper processes and reveal cautions and what not, what is the approximate time frame we are looking at for completion (best and worst case) and is there any chance in he#@ that we'd accomplish all of this in enough time to get a reasonable airfare for him to the states?

Any additional input you feel relevant or good to know would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading this thread, and I appreciate your time and patience in reviewing it.

Regards!