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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Highland Village, Texas, United States
    Posts
    3

    Default State is Pursuing a No Contact Order, Charges Against Victim's Wishes

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Texas

    He has a domestic violence charge that I tried to drop but the state picked it up. I also asked them not to peruse a no contact order, but they did. He's on probation for 7 years and we have three kids together. I want this dropped ASAP. He's the only one that works, we share a car, and we aren't allowed any sort of contact. His probation officer came to my house with two cops yesterday trying to catch him here. This is ridiculous. Please help me!
    They saw the car the he drove last (we share it) in the driveway so that's what they said was the reason they were trying to find him. I told them that my mom, who the contact order has nothing to do with, picked it up from him the previous night. I'm so scared he is going to be in trouble. But he's been doing everything he's supposed to do so I don't understand! I need this dropped!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,877

    Default Re: Getting a No Contact Order Dropped

    He hasn't been doing everything he's supposed to do. He's supposed to stay away from you. Have NO CONTACT. Not talk to your mom about you, not visit when you think no one is looking. If you do continue to see him (up until this order is dropped) they will have no choice but to put him in prison. You're going to have to get a job.
    You do realize this is for your protection and for the childrens' protection, right?

  3. #3

    Default Re: Getting a No Contact Order Dropped

    Before we can give accurate information, we need to know how willing you are to have your children removed. If the state sought the order, and the court granted it, against your wishes, then that's a pretty solid indicator that they feel he presents a danger to you and/or your children. Of course you're going to reply that he's not - because that's what they all say - up to and including most of the ones who end up dead.

    That being the case, you seeking to allow someone charged with domestic violence to have the order dropped so that he can then be around you and the children can be expected to result in child protective services getting involved and potentially removing the children for "failure to protect". In other words, the state took action to protect you and the kids with order. If you want to keep company with someone potentially dangerous to you, the courts understand that as an adult you have the right to make that choice for yourself. But the court isn't likely to consider you purposefully bringing him around the children, who don't get a say in such matters.

    So before you determine a course of action, you'll really need to make a choice - because until the criminal case is closed, the court isn't going to smile on both him and the children being home at the same time. Him being the only one that works isn't going to be a factor for the court - he can deposit money into a bank account without having any contact. One of you is going to have to figure out how to do without a vehicle until the case is over.

    Obviously when your partner has such an order against them it can present tremendous burdens, pressures, logistical nightmares, additional expenses, etc. The courts don't really care about those issues - their only concern is that everyone lives through it, even if they have to live under a bridge. Interestingly, since financial control is such a major factor in abusive relationships, arguing that you're completely dependent on him and that's why you're willing to have him around yourself and your children should, in theory, only make the court MORE likely to keep the order in place.

    What types of assistance are you currently receiving from your local domestic violence program? They understand the problems created when restraining orders are in place and may have ways to assist in dealing with the kinks that are occurring for you as a result of the order being in place.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Highland Village, Texas, United States
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Getting a No Contact Order Dropped

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    Before we can give accurate information, we need to know how willing you are to have your children removed. If the state sought the order, and the court granted it, against your wishes, then that's a pretty solid indicator that they feel he presents a danger to you and/or your children. Of course you're going to reply that he's not - because that's what they all say - up to and including most of the ones who end up dead.

    That being the case, you seeking to allow someone charged with domestic violence to have the order dropped so that he can then be around you and the children can be expected to result in child protective services getting involved and potentially removing the children for "failure to protect". In other words, the state took action to protect you and the kids with order. If you want to keep company with someone potentially dangerous to you, the courts understand that as an adult you have the right to make that choice for yourself. But the court isn't likely to consider you purposefully bringing him around the children, who don't get a say in such matters.

    So before you determine a course of action, you'll really need to make a choice - because until the criminal case is closed, the court isn't going to smile on both him and the children being home at the same time. Him being the only one that works isn't going to be a factor for the court - he can deposit money into a bank account without having any contact. One of you is going to have to figure out how to do without a vehicle until the case is over.

    Obviously when your partner has such an order against them it can present tremendous burdens, pressures, logistical nightmares, additional expenses, etc. The courts don't really care about those issues - their only concern is that everyone lives through it, even if they have to live under a bridge. Interestingly, since financial control is such a major factor in abusive relationships, arguing that you're completely dependent on him and that's why you're willing to have him around yourself and your children should, in theory, only make the court MORE likely to keep the order in place.

    What types of assistance are you currently receiving from your local domestic violence program? They understand the problems created when restraining orders are in place and may have ways to assist in dealing with the kinks that are occurring for you as a result of the order being in place.
    The financial reasons aren't the only reasons. I love my husband. I tried dropping the charges. As far as our kids go, he would never do anything to harm them. He's a great father. And a great husband. He has an alcohol problem which he is getting help for and has since the incident because he realized he had a problem. I'm not trying to make excuses but I want my family back and I will do whatever it takes to accomplish this, in the correct way. This is why I asked the question so I could go about solving this issue the legal way so no one gets into more trouble. He's doing his classes and everything he cn to better himself for himself, me, and our kids.

    - - - Updated - - -

    And FYI, he has not had contact with me... They are only assuming he has.

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