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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    120

    Default Bipolar disorder, appropriate action to take

    I was a little surprised to see that the thread below had closed. I'm new to this, so perhaps I need clarification as to how this works.

    I wanted to provide an update regarding this case.

    Due to how recently the arrest took place, there is simply nothing on file with the court as of yet.

    I inquired online, and discovered the same when I went to the Public Defender's Office on Friday. Long drive, two panic attacks on the way there, and one big one on the way home (I don't know the streets AT ALL).

    In any case, I wasn't even able to meet with anyone at the PD's office. All they were able to do was to have me stand at a window and speak on the phone with one of their lawyers for about five minutes. I understand that without the particulars of the case, it makes it difficult if not impossible to make specific recommendations.

    Until such time, I can't get ANY kind of court-appointed (fill in the blank).

    Therefore, all I can do for the time being is to stay on top of my medications, try to be on the lookout for new symptoms or worsening of the "old" ones. I'm certain that due to the isolation of living in an area that is remote when compared to the west Bay Area, the loss of my job (and with it, nearly 100% of the human contact in my life) I feel almost as if I am in a kind of "solitary confinement". I realize this is not imposed by law enforcement agencies, but by the depression (which already existed, but was certainly exacerbated in the wake of recent events).

    I still stand by what I was able to do in lieu of any tangible help from "the outside world".

    At least taking the online self-test gave ME the INSIGHT as to the underlying causes contributing to this mess. I don't think I necessarily found out anything I didn't suspect all along, but there is something to be said about having my "gut feeling" verified by an expert source.

    I know I write way too much here, but please try to find it in your (collective) heart(s) to humor me here. As I mentioned above, I am in a very isolated lifestyle right now, and living with this has been very painful and lonely.

    I don't wish to incite arguments among other members of this forum.

    More psychobabble or whatever you call it, but I am like a stress "sponge". When conflicts happen around me, I can feel my pulse rate jump--almost as if I'm in danger. There was a lot of emotional violence in my household (as well as some physical violence), and here I am, 48 years old and STILL it scares me to hear or see people argue.

    I'm not an assertive person, except when it comes to defending someone other than myself. Weird. I worked with students, whom I loved, but my supervisor and a few coworkers were extremely cliquish. It wasn't a very healthy environment "behind the scenes". I held A LOT of feelings in. Yes, I felt angry. However, I was not acting out in anger when I shoplifted. It was more of a kind of pit of emptiness and despair, and heaven only knows, trying to fill it with "free" stuff was never going to work--rather it just made it deeper, and added shame and guilt to the mix.

    I hope I am able to convey that mine is NOT a matter of trying to "get away with breaking the law".

    I want help. Whether it's appointed my the courts, the Pope, or imaginary voices (which, by the way, I do NOT hear), I NEED TO FEEL BETTER. Whether anyone in the judicial system gives a damn about me or my feelings is irrelevant. I have to try to view this as if I'm looking at myself through my son's, daughter's, or brother's eyes in order to have the kind of compassion for ME that I would have for someone else. All the shame in the world and all the harsh discipline that the judicial system wants to dish out is NOT going to help me, or society. Of course there are many times when I entertain serious doubts as to whether the justice system has any interest whatsoever in the quality of human life, and how that, in turn affects society as a whole.

    You see, I may be bipolar, neurotic, whatever anyone wants to call it, but I am not stupid, shallow or mean. I have a great deal more insight than I'm guessing the average person has, and I've used this to try to help others; there's much I have contributed to society, and very much wish to be able to do in the future. The disposition of this case, as well as what I do in order to help myself, is what will determine whether or not I will be able to continue to do so.

    I'm trying desperately to save the good woman that I am--one who is plagued by some problems...but the only one which seems to matter (to the very system I pay taxes to help support) is the problem of shoplifting--an impulsive, embarrassing act.

    Whether or not anyone wants to believe this (and by the way I was treated by Safeway security, I am certain that they did not want to believe this), I'm not a career criminal.

    Thus, I'm only asking that the case be handled in the way I would want it to be handled for anyone else with the same sort of problem.

    All I can do is pray that I'm fortunate enough to have my case handled by people evolved enough to at least make some kind of attempt to understand.

    Thanks in advance for whatever empathy might be here somewhere.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    984

    Default Re: eek-thread closed! RE: bipolar disorder, appropriate action to take

    It is not your fault that your thread was closed.

    Thank you for coming back and giving us an update.

    So you spoke with an attorney from the Public defender's office for a few minutes, that is a start. And you did prove that you could get there and back even if you had several panic attacks. Do you know how to stop a panic attack with metered breathing? It is a good skill to learn, ask your therapist to teach you. If you are uncomfortable with the freeway, you can stay on city streets the whole way

    Did you turn in your MC-410 so you can get started on requesting accommodations?

    It may take a while for the DA to submit the case but you can still request the accommodations in the mean time based on the citation number which will later be assigned a case.

    Please call Anonymous Place 1414 N Main St Walnut Creek, CA 94596 (925) 933-5102 they can give you the locations of 12 step meetings in your area and hopefully you can get a sponsor so you won't be so isolated. Also you can contact http://www.crisis-center.org/ 800-273-TALK Contra Costa Crisis Center for referals or just to talk.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,094

    Default Re: eek-thread closed! RE: bipolar disorder, appropriate action to take

    Quote Quoting nurse4kitties
    View Post
    I was a little surprised to see that the thread below had closed. I'm new to this, so perhaps I need clarification as to how this works.

    I wanted to provide an update regarding this case.

    Due to how recently the arrest took place, there is simply nothing on file with the court as of yet.

    I inquired online, and discovered the same when I went to the Public Defender's Office on Friday. Long drive, two panic attacks on the way there, and one big one on the way home (I don't know the streets AT ALL).

    In any case, I wasn't even able to meet with anyone at the PD's office. All they were able to do was to have me stand at a window and speak on the phone with one of their lawyers for about five minutes. I understand that without the particulars of the case, it makes it difficult if not impossible to make specific recommendations.

    Until such time, I can't get ANY kind of court-appointed (fill in the blank).

    Therefore, all I can do for the time being is to stay on top of my medications, try to be on the lookout for new symptoms or worsening of the "old" ones. I'm certain that due to the isolation of living in an area that is remote when compared to the west Bay Area, the loss of my job (and with it, nearly 100% of the human contact in my life) I feel almost as if I am in a kind of "solitary confinement". I realize this is not imposed by law enforcement agencies, but by the depression (which already existed, but was certainly exacerbated in the wake of recent events).

    I still stand by what I was able to do in lieu of any tangible help from "the outside world".

    At least taking the online self-test gave ME the INSIGHT as to the underlying causes contributing to this mess. I don't think I necessarily found out anything I didn't suspect all along, but there is something to be said about having my "gut feeling" verified by an expert source.

    I know I write way too much here, but please try to find it in your (collective) heart(s) to humor me here. As I mentioned above, I am in a very isolated lifestyle right now, and living with this has been very painful and lonely.

    I don't wish to incite arguments among other members of this forum.

    More psychobabble or whatever you call it, but I am like a stress "sponge". When conflicts happen around me, I can feel my pulse rate jump--almost as if I'm in danger. There was a lot of emotional violence in my household (as well as some physical violence), and here I am, 48 years old and STILL it scares me to hear or see people argue.

    I'm not an assertive person, except when it comes to defending someone other than myself. Weird. I worked with students, whom I loved, but my supervisor and a few coworkers were extremely cliquish. It wasn't a very healthy environment "behind the scenes". I held A LOT of feelings in. Yes, I felt angry. However, I was not acting out in anger when I shoplifted. It was more of a kind of pit of emptiness and despair, and heaven only knows, trying to fill it with "free" stuff was never going to work--rather it just made it deeper, and added shame and guilt to the mix.

    I hope I am able to convey that mine is NOT a matter of trying to "get away with breaking the law".

    I want help. Whether it's appointed my the courts, the Pope, or imaginary voices (which, by the way, I do NOT hear), I NEED TO FEEL BETTER. Whether anyone in the judicial system gives a damn about me or my feelings is irrelevant. I have to try to view this as if I'm looking at myself through my son's, daughter's, or brother's eyes in order to have the kind of compassion for ME that I would have for someone else. All the shame in the world and all the harsh discipline that the judicial system wants to dish out is NOT going to help me, or society. Of course there are many times when I entertain serious doubts as to whether the justice system has any interest whatsoever in the quality of human life, and how that, in turn affects society as a whole.

    You see, I may be bipolar, neurotic, whatever anyone wants to call it, but I am not stupid, shallow or mean. I have a great deal more insight than I'm guessing the average person has, and I've used this to try to help others; there's much I have contributed to society, and very much wish to be able to do in the future. The disposition of this case, as well as what I do in order to help myself, is what will determine whether or not I will be able to continue to do so.

    I'm trying desperately to save the good woman that I am--one who is plagued by some problems...but the only one which seems to matter (to the very system I pay taxes to help support) is the problem of shoplifting--an impulsive, embarrassing act.

    Whether or not anyone wants to believe this (and by the way I was treated by Safeway security, I am certain that they did not want to believe this), I'm not a career criminal.

    Thus, I'm only asking that the case be handled in the way I would want it to be handled for anyone else with the same sort of problem.

    All I can do is pray that I'm fortunate enough to have my case handled by people evolved enough to at least make some kind of attempt to understand.

    Thanks in advance for whatever empathy might be here somewhere.
    Glad you posted the update. Sorry you were led in that direction. As it turned out to be a mistake and a waste of time. Usually compassion and persons involve in criminal justice system mix like oil and water. I hope you stay involved with those persons in the medical system who can support you.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,094

    Default Re: eek-thread closed! RE: bipolar disorder, appropriate action to take

    To Nurse4kitties:

    This forum is a public forum. When you register you agree to the administration's requirements. These include release from liability for responses from any other member. You are not able to validate the "credentials" of any member. Therefore, you cannot rely on their advice or any "instructions given by a member".

    Here is a tip: any member who instucts you to do something preceded by an admonishment like "you don't get it" is probably not a licensed professional. As professionals know that is a violation of their professional ethics.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: eek-thread closed! RE: bipolar disorder, appropriate action to take

    Quote Quoting deadlock
    Here is a tip: any member who instucts you to do something preceded by an admonishment like "you don't get it" is probably not a licensed professional. As professionals know that is a violation of their professional ethics.
    Oh, for the love of ... !!! Does slinging ever end?!

    For the record, I am a "licensed professional" (though not in psych or medical services) and it would not be a violation of any professional ethics I am aware of to suggest that someone does not "get it" ... it might not be wholly "professional", but then this is not a clinical setting.

    Deadlock, are YOU a "licensed professional"? Are you one licensed in Rmet's field? If not, then how do you know what Rmet's "professional ethics" are?

    Gadzooks! And I thought my kids had a tough time letting arguments go!

    - Carl
    **********
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,094

    Default Re: eek-thread closed! RE: bipolar disorder, appropriate action to take

    Unfortunately, mental health is a Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 occupation ... mental health emergencies - and patients - do not tend to keep such convenient timetables.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: eek-thread closed! RE: bipolar disorder, appropriate action to take

    Quote Quoting deadlock
    If they are a 24-hour occupation where you are, please! Come to our state and teach them how to do it!

    The police out here deal with far more mental health patients than we'd like to, and very often with disastrous consequences.

    Once we get the subject detained, the clinician won't respond until they have been medically cleared (i.e. are tested to be shown they are free from drugs or alcohol) ... however, state law does not require that we remain on scene during the medical evaluation process. So we can either depart leaving the 5150 in the hands of the hospital staff and hoping that the subject does not hurt someone or themself, or, we can take one or more officers out of service (some nights that would be ALL the patrol staff) for a few hours to stand around waiting for the subject to test negative.

    It is a very frustrating process that often leaves us in the lurch. When we take the same person in for evaluation 5 times in three days, and while he is still in the hospital gown from hi most recent clearance he gets struck by a car because he decided it woul djust pass through him, you get a little frustrated.

    Maybe it's just CA, but supervisors and managers I speak to from other jurisdictions seem to have similar complaints. Personally I like the PERT programs developed in So. Cal. (which I was part of). Unfortunately, the programs were expensive and have largely disappeared due to funding and staffing issues.

    - Carl
    **********
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

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