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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
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    Second star to the right...
    Posts
    323

    Default Re: What Should I Expect in First Court Appearance

    Quote Quoting podster123
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    My questions are: what happens if he does not show up,.
    You will likely get the TPO by default
    Quote Quoting podster123
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    will he be arrested then for nonpayment of child support,
    No idea. You deserve both safety and child support but if you could only pursue one of these two things, which would it be? Going after child support means engaging your ex. Engaging your ex will mean escalating the conflict… Can you see where I am going with this? If you are in fear of your life, you might decide that chasing down the child support, even though you deserve it and the court ordered it, isn’t a wise move. Someone on this site once advised me to read Gavin DeBecker’s Gift of Fear. I found it very useful. You might as well.

    Quote Quoting podster123
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    what happens if he makes accusations against me in court,.
    You wait until he is done speaking and respond truthfully and calmly.

    Quote Quoting podster123
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    can he be ordered to seek mental evaluation and treatment,
    That isn’t going to happen as part of the TPO.

    Quote Quoting podster123
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    should I bring witnesses,.
    If anyone but your minor child witnessed the violence or threats, I would say yes, absolutely bring them. Putting your minor child on the stand against their father would be poor form.

    Quote Quoting podster123
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    and any other advice you could provide that would help. I do have an attorney but was unable to reach him last week to ask him these questions. My son witnessed the violence in one incident, I did not report it but did document this and have transcribed statements from my husband, son, and son's friend describing in their own words what happened. Should I bring this up because I was told that if my son witnessed violence it could result in child abuse charges against me. I thank you in advance for your help.
    Have you contacted the Georgia Domestic Violence hotline? The line is open 24/7 and the number is 1-800-33-HAVEN. The can refer you to the nearest local DV shelter or outreach center, where you can services that include some legal information. You do not have to need shelter to access the services they can provide. This often includes an advocate to accompany you to court for the restraining order even if you will have an attorney present.

    Regarding your attorney, attorneys are trained in the law. Very few have any domestic violence training. So, while they are skilled at the legal aspect of obtaining the TPO, many are completely unaware of the risk factors of domestic violence. I wouldn't use my doctor to do my taxes, nor my CPA to check my heart. Both are smart, but they are an expert in their own fields. Domestic violence advocates are experts in domestic violence. So that is where you should seek advice for your safety.

    If you are scared then take precaution. That level of caution you exercise however, should apply regardless of whether a TPO is granted. You have described an ex that is mentally unstable and not concerned with breaking the law or following court orders. Frankly, this is the type person on whom a TPO is least likely to be effective at deterring violence. You need to consider that TPOs while often useful are simply pieces of paper.

    I urge you to reach out to that number I gave you for some local help.

    Good luck.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: What Should I Expect in First Court Appearance

    Your advice is very reassuring, Drthyrd, and I am a person will actually listen to good advice and put it to use!! I have already ordered The Gift of Fear from Amazon. The other poster's replies were catty, mean-spirited and not worthy of an answer. I thank you for patiently reading my posts and answering my questions.

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