How to Prove a Child is Not Being Raised by Her Custodial Parent

[neocush]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: PA

My husband would like to establish joint custody for my step daughter, how does he need to appeal to the judge? He currently has 20% custody and has had it for 2 years. Since Feb. the judge awarded him 3 weekends each month for six months because my step daughter mother denied him court ordered visitations last summer. This has now expired and he would like to keep those visitations in place but the judge has told him in the past that in order for him to get joint custody he must get along with his child's mother even though the issue between them isn't about getting along but her not moving on and also not wanting him to have access to their child. She shows up to any and everything involving court which is most times paperwork she filed but can't make time to get my step daughter's report cards, go to reward ceremonies and shows, and comb and wash her hair. We have had 4 heat waves over the summer and my step daughter mother had my step daughter wearing jeans the entire summer. She works part time and have no time to take my step daughter to school, or pick her up. On the days the drop off/ pick up location is at the police station she is never there (95% of the time), my step daughter grandmother pretty much take care of these things. Dentist and Doctors appointments are all done with grandmother, if not with her father and we have proof of that. Outside of the doctor's appointments, how can he prove the other things mentioned because we believe my stepdaughter is being raised by her grandmother. But when she comes to court she puts on a show that appears she's extremely involved in my stepdaughter's life and is never away from her except when she is with her father. When it was my step daughter's mother birthday my husband asked my step daughter if she wanted to call her mother she said no because she never answers her phone. This is a complaint her grandmother makes when my step daughter is in her care as per my step daughter. My stepdaughter is 10 years old. FYI- Grandmother is a willing participant in raising my step daughter.

[Dogmatique]

Mom is absolutely allowed to have grandma (or anyone else) help look after the child.

Why isn't this 10 year old able to comb and wash her own hair? I see no change of circumstance, which would be necessary.

[neocush]

I find nothing wrong with other people helping a mother look after their child but there are some things a parent does like take their child to the doctor, and pick up report cards especially when your not working full time or going to school. If you don't have time to do these basic things what could you have time to do with your child? Besides, medical decisions should be made by the parents, if she is leaving that responsibility for grand-mom than its impossible for my husband to be making them. Additionally, she invest a great deal of time into being relevant with my husband as every six months they are in court because she wants more access to my husband. She is also trying to get the judge to take a day out of his weekend away from him due to his work schedule which is a half day when he's not with his daughter. How can she demand more access to my husband while attempting to take his time away from his daughter. In his 20% custody he is spending more time with his daughter than she is and he works full time and go to school full time. My step daughter doesn't know how to wash and comb her hair because her grand-mom, who is raising her hasn't taught her how to do that, you can't do something your not taught to do and with the limited time I am around her its difficult to reinforce certain habits.

[Dogmatique]

I find nothing wrong with other people helping a mother look after their child but there are some things a parent does like take their child to the doctor, and pick up report cards especially when your not working full time or going to school.

Irrelevant.

If you don't have time to do these basic things what could you have time to do with your child? Besides, medical decisions should be made by the parents, if she is leaving that responsibility for grand-mom than its impossible for my husband to be making them.

So what's he doing about it?

Additionally, she invest a great deal of time into being relevant with my husband as every six months they are in court because she wants more access to my husband. She is also trying to get the judge to take a day out of his weekend away from him due to his work schedule which is a half day when he's not with his daughter. How can she demand more access to my husband while attempting to take his time away from his daughter. In his 20% custody he is spending more time with his daughter than she is and he works full time and go to school full time. My step daughter doesn't know how to wash and comb her hair because her grand-mom, who is raising her hasn't taught her how to do that, you can't do something your not taught to do and with the limited time I am around her its difficult to reinforce certain habits.

Why hasn't Dad taught his child how to wash her hair?

Again, I see no change in circumstance.