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  1. #1

    Default Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

    Hi, been posting on this situation for a while, its hopefully coming to a close in a couple days.

    In late July I hired a PI to document that my ex wife's BF is around our children. I have a court order that specifically states he is not to be present during her parenting time, due to drug addiction and multiple violent crimes. I was able to obtain the proof I needed.
    The kids have lived with me for 6 days/week for over a year now.

    I filed a motion for sole custody with her getting supervised visits. Since July she has only seen the kids 1 time, I refused to allow the kids to go to her house and said she can either meet me at a neutral location or at my house.

    Last week she filed for a restraining order against me, which went in front of our divorce judge. I wasn't present but the judge denied it without a hearing. The same day I also learned that the father of her 8 y/o daughter has filed for full custody. She responded by filing a restraining order against him, which was also denied without hearing.
    She has lost her 3rd job this year for no call/no show. In her motion to reduce child support she stated she supports her 8y/o daughter and has no car(claims this is why she lost her job) On both statements I can prove they are false. her 8 y/o is living with my ex wifes mom, and my ex was seen driving to and from the residence by my friend(he lives across the street)
    I also know that the ex has moved about 75 miles away, though she denies it, and still is telling the court she lives at the same address(I checked her nursing license online and it states the zipcode she is living in, it automatically updates if she changes her drivers license address)

    So what can I expect? Will my motion be granted?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    You can expect to receive at least a smack on the hand for refusing the kids to go to her house; you aren't really supposed to make that decision without the court's backing and you don't have that (yet).

    But given that the kids have spent 6 NIGHTS per week with you (that's correct, yes? It's nights?), you remaining primary should be something of a slamdunk.

    Supervised visitation? Depends on the judge. I can see that going either way.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    but if she clearly was violating a protective order wouldn't they have to give her supervised? This in addition to her being an alcoholic, losing job after job, going to rehab and leaving after 4 days, a police report in which she admits to taking her BF to detroit to purchase heroin, inviting a stranger she picked up on the side of the road back to her home where she was beaten and had her car stolen, then had the kids at her house the next day and didn't even bother to change the locks(guy that beat her stole her keys)
    Also in her answer to my motion(pro per) she stated that she was coerced by the family counselor multiple times.
    I don't see how the judge couldn't grant me sole custody here, she is clearly irresponsible, and unable to make safe decisions for the kids or herself.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    244

    Default Re: Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    I went back and reread some of your earlier posts, and you have in the past withheld visitation from mom, without the court giving you a right to do that. You now again have withheld her time, without the court giving you a right to do that. If mom puts up a stink over this in court, it could be a problem for you.

    I see the county your case is in, happen to live in the county right next to yours. I have spent time in your court and Judges there are not fond of parents who take it upon themselves to deny visitation. If you felt your child was in danger, then you should have filed an emergency motion to either suspend moms visit or to have those visits somewhere besides her home. So it's possible this may come back on you.

    Your already the primary, looking into your own past postings, this has already been established in court. So not sure what more you expect out of that.

    Sole custody, what is your basis that mom should not have joint legal? I see she has issues, but I don't see how those issues is preventing her from being able to have joint say in major decisions concerning the child. Your going to need to prove to the court that those issues make it impossible for her to make joint major decisions with you. I have seen Judges in Michigan give parents that are in jail, in rehab, in a mental facility, give the parent joint legal. It is a case to case basis, and the details matter.

    Supervised is possible, but it can go either way. It is also possible that a Judge will not order supervised and tell mom, that by the order that is already in place, she has to do her visitations away from that 3rd party already banned in the order. Giving her another chance. They love in your county and mine to give parents as many chances as possible. Understand to supervised visits are temp, the purpose of them is to get back to regular parenting time. So even if she gets supervised, it may be a plan where x amount of visits are supervised, if mom does them all, then she goes back to regular. If these supervised visits were to be ordered at a supervised facility, well often you can get it so a report from the facility on how these visits went, will be considered into the factor of mom getting regular visits back. But I have Judges in your county, my county and another neighboring county, ignore the reports and give the parent back the regular visits, cause they went to all of them.

    It's a coin flip basically on what will happen. But you need to be more careful yourself in the future of dealing with these issues. You need to follow the court order and if mom is not, then you need to file, and have the court decide where and when these visits take place, but until they do, you need to follow the current order.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    I DID file, but they didn't put it to be heard until tomorrow.
    This is the 3rd time the court has had to hear about this BF guy....unofficially the 1st time the mediator said not to have him, officially 1st time was last year I got an order signed, then she fought it, the 2nd time I had to take her back to court because she said the original order was temporary, so I got ANOTHER order put in place, now she has violated that order. So this will be the 3rd time we go in front of the judge about this.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    Quote Quoting dead_onion
    View Post
    I DID file, but they didn't put it to be heard until tomorrow.
    This is the 3rd time the court has had to hear about this BF guy....unofficially the 1st time the mediator said not to have him, officially 1st time was last year I got an order signed, then she fought it, the 2nd time I had to take her back to court because she said the original order was temporary, so I got ANOTHER order put in place, now she has violated that order. So this will be the 3rd time we go in front of the judge about this.
    So either you didn't file for an emergency or they denied it was an emergency. The point to it is you can't just change the order, you have to wait for the court to do that. You changed it without the court making that determination. That could be an issue for you.

    It's the 3rd time on the same issue, that could be an issue for mom. But like the above issue, COULD is the key word. The Judge could give her another chance, just like the Judge can give you another chance for violating the order for a 2nd time.

    I'm still not seeing how any of this prevents mom from making joint major decisions with you. You already are sole primary parent when it concerns the physical end. So if you filed for sole, then your seeking sole legal? Sole legal is having sole decision making power on major decisions. What is your basis for filing for sole legal?

  7. #7

    Default Re: Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    my basis is that she is unable to make safe decisions regarding the care of our children.
    and yes, I am a little nervous about my denying her parenting time, not super nervous but a little nervous. The worst they're gonna do is enforce some makeup time for her, but seeing how she continues to violate this no contact order I don't see how they could justify that, or how it would even be realistic, seeing how she now lives 75 miles away and our daughter is in school full time, plus she is claiming she has no vehicle(says she quit her job because her car broke down...its false but she would then have to admit to the court she lied about the car)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Default Re: Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    Quote Quoting dead_onion
    View Post
    ...I filed a motion for sole custody with her getting supervised visits.

    ...So what can I expect? Will my motion be granted?
    Short answer is probably not.

    The reality is that a contested hearing between pro per parents will be over much more quickly than it probably should, and for many reasons, the result will not likely be you get sole custody or supervised visitation.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Court for Change of Custody in 2 Days, What Can I Expect

    hi,
    I am not pro per I have an attorney, she is pro per.
    So we went to court today,
    my lawyer and the ex went into the back conference room with the referee, I stayed in the courtroom(I never go back, I find that odd)
    basically my lawyer said the ref thinks she is crazy. In her answer to my motion she essentially accused the judge and referee of working with me in a conspiracy to control her life.
    We went today because for some reason she wanted me to provide evidence of my accusation, which I already did in my motion for custody that is to be heard on the 19th. The referee made no reference that I must give the kids to her for parenting time.
    We were also there today because she wanted to reduce her child support because she lost yet another job due to no call no show. The referee shot down her request for 60 days because he said that if I get sole custody her support obligation will increase.

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