You chose not to try to have the restraining order modified a decade ago, and instead chose to move out of state and cut off contact with your kids. You lost your case in court, you made your choices, and you don't get to sue her over the consequences of your decade-old choices.

If you had a basis to overturn the restraining order a decade ago, you should have filed your motion a decade ago. You chose not to do so, and you have told us that the restraining order remains in effect, so for the third time: If you want to have a court terminate a protective order, you have to petition the court that issued the order.